Malicious Compliance

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/NotYourNanny on 2024-10-21 17:14:00+00:00.

Any competent accountant has at least a touch of OCD. It's really necessary for them to do their job properly. But some have more of it than most.

At one time, we had a controller who really put the obsessive in obsessive-compulsive. And she decided that we were a little to fast and loose with the company credit card (which we were, at that point). So she created a "payment request" form and wrote a policy to go with it. The form wasn't unreasonable (in fact, we still use it today). The policy was another story.

The form was to be used (per the policy) for all uses of the company credit card (which we used for everything, because the owner got airline mileage on it - it had a six figure limit, and it wasn't unusual for use to have to make a mid-month payment to keep from going over - he got a *lot of miles). All uses, no matter how small.

The policy? Each form had to be signed by either the owner, or two higher ups, one of whom was frequently not in the office.

I'm the IT guy, and we're a retail store chain (and a pretty successful one), so there are a lot of IT issues that are extremely time sensitive (gotta keep the cash registers running full speed), but can be fixed with very cheap parts.

And I was having to get signatures to order $25 parts off of the internet. Every time. With one of the signatures being from someone who was in the office less often than the owner.

So it was pretty obvious to me that the correct solution was to have the owner sign it all by himself. He always understood - all I had to do was tell him a cash register was down, and he got it. (I do like working for smart people.)

Until the day I took the third form into his office within an hour or so for his signature, because one of the other two people who could sign was out of town. He told me he'd "look into this" as he signed it, and as I walked by the controller's office on the way back to mine, he was already there, having a (very polite, they were both professionals) conversation, and from that day forward, the executive VP (who'd been around from the beginning as was trusted as much as the owner's own family) could sign my form all by himself (and I now have signature authority up to $500, as well as my own company credit card - with a much smaller limit).

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/[deleted] on 2024-10-21 07:58:30+00:00.

This is a relatively short one. I was at a local supermarket preparing for a bbq with friends. Had a trolly full of items including booze for the party. The items get scanned and I get asked for ID to confirm the purchase. I hand over my driving licence before my friend is also asked for ID. He was 30 but didn’t have the ID with him. Apparently this is not good enough. We had a little back and forth stating how absurd this was. I even asked if they were ID checking the family at the next till as they clearly had a child with them. The end I was given the option to purchase without the booze or leave. Obviously expecting me to purchase without the booze she told me my total. I calmly said no thanks and walked out after leaving the whole £320 shop on the conveyor. I did feel a little sorry for those behind me. A manager actually came to try and persuade me to take the items but I said if I have to stop somewhere else for half the shop I may as well give them the whole business.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/DracoMancer94 on 2024-10-21 02:24:36+00:00.

So i just remembered this right now when listening my to my music, rock music, i like guns and roses, ac/dc, system of the down all those bands, so i was driving home from my inlaws and started my playlist 2 song in my wife says she is gonna turn it off

Wife: how can you like this music? its so loud and ugly, im gonna turn it off.

Me: No wait please this is my music let me be.

wife: no no im turning it off

me: no no no no wait, *queue puppy face*

Wife: ok ok but just one more song

me: one?

Wife: one

me: ok pinky promise.

Wife: Pinky promise (we pinky promise)

queue malicious compliance.

and as we finish shaking the pinky promise i smile internaly. so i skip to Through the Fire and Flames, for those who dont know this son is 7min long, 3 min in i turn to see a confused look on her face. at 4 min starts the part with no lyrics just guitars and drums, at this point she looks pissed but we never back down on pinky promises so she says nothing and at the 6min mark when it looks like its going to end BOOM lyrics come back!!

Wife: WTF!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HOW LONG IS THIS SONG!

Me: dont worry honey its almost over

finaly after 7 min the song ends, most satisfying 7min of my like (thats what she said)

oh but it gets better, next week same scenario i put my music and 2 song in again she complains,

Wife: again? im turning it off now

me: wait wait wait, just one more song

Wife: Hell no i aint falling for that one again!

me: ok ok ok just let me here the first part of the next songs lyrics and we change it ok?

wife: *probly thinking ok maybe 1min at most than its over* ok just the first part

me: yea just the first part * i stretch my hand to pinky shake* pinky promise

wife: *annoyed* Pinky promise

and me fully knowing what song comes next cant avoid grining. queue Cliffs of Dover which is onnly 4 min long but at no poiint is there any lyrics sung, 2 min in i turn to see my wife with an evil grin

Wife: this one doesnt have lyrics, does it?

me: nope

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/MUSTARDUNAVAILABLE on 2024-10-20 18:45:27+00:00.

This happened around 2012 and deals with my internet provider. They sucked majorly, days with no internet and no warnings.

The last straw was when there was no internet for over 2 weeks. Called them and they said they'll send someone to come look but nope no one came. Went to their brmach office and one of the higher ups finally out on his big boy undies and did some work.

As an apology they told me they'll only charge me the days I did have internet. It took 3 more days for me to have internet again.

Then the bill came and it was higher than what I should be paying for. Went to the branch office the same day I got the bill. Before I could say my grievance the employee told me I'd have to pay a penalty simce I'll be late in paying and that just made me now my gasket.

They wouldn't expin shit to me so I told them I want them gone, I didn't want them as a provider anymore.

I was there at 9 am and done at 2 pm. They really tried to get me to stay. But when they realized I was set in my decision they finally complied. One of the things I had to do was call one of their reps or whoever to tell them my reasons for dropping them. The phones where by the entrance and waiting room.

Went there and some assistant was watching me like I committed a horrible crime.

Called them and that took me close to 10 minutes. When someone finally answered theyansked me my list of problems with them, not sure what for they didn't really give a shit about them before.

So proceeded to tell each and every fuck up they did and the last straw. It was in front of waiting customers and those coming in. The assistant looked embarrassed and ready to murder me. It got way worse as several customers walked out after hearing me.

When it was all over even one of them managers was trying to guilt trip me for talking shit about them.

Had to pay the bill and the penalty but by then they wanted me out quick.

I got a better internet provider. I also had a last laugh when I lambasted them on Facebook, a lot of comments really laying on how awful they were.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/MUSTARDUNAVAILABLE on 2024-10-19 13:54:26+00:00.

This happened in grade 3 when I was 8 years old. It was in the early 2000s in the Philippines.

Students would be put in groups, after school we'd have to clean the room. Especially the floors, sweep and wax. It was the students responsibility to clean and keep it clean.

The duty was once a week per group and during that one week I had to go visit relatives for a funeral.

When I got back my groupmates told me that they did the job faster and that stung not gonna lie.

When it was our turn, they complained to me how slow we were at cleaning up and blamed me for it.

That stung again not gonna lie.

So the following week, still hurt and not wanting to get blamed again I decided to go home and not help.

As I was making my way out (I was the first person to leave) my teacher asked me what I was doing. Told her since I was just gonna slow my group down I might as well just go home.

Teacher, know for being a loving bomb and can set off any moment, looked at me and my group and said okay.

Went home feeling oddly pleased with myself.

Then a cousin who was a couple classes over and had cleaning duties told her mom who then told my mom and how my teacher gave my group the what for. It was so loud my cousin could recite it verbatim.

Basically teacher said my group was fast but they weren't good at cleaning. They would forget to sweep areas and even leave more trash behind. They were fast yes but it was only by a few minutes.

They would rush and do a piss poor job.

She had them stay longer to make sure it's all clean properly.

Next day my group mate apologized to me and never complained again.

And guys I know this sounds abusive and exploitative but back then this was normal for us. It wasn't great.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/DaveWaltz on 2024-10-19 12:37:13+00:00.

The basics- working in management at a car dealership on the sales side- 2 sales managers, 2 business managers, used car manager and me floating around the sales managers with paperwork, going to auto auctions, wholesaling, keeping track of the lot manager, liaison with the service department etc. But most important I was in the top 3 in the country for having the quickest turn over of new cars, and fewest at year end. Was just really good at figuring out what people would like and buy, what colours and packages etc. Owner was a 65 yo guy, great guy he only came in a couple days a week for a few hours and let us do our jobs...was a perfectly organized running machine. But he protracted health issues and his 25 YO bossbitch daughter with a new business management degree convinced him to take over.

Of course it was a team, but I was the pin that held everything together.

Immediately calling dumb meetings, interfering with people, constantly nagging everyone, changing things, having tantrums if anyone challenged her so much so that within 2 months receptionists, service department manager and workers, one sales manager, used car manager, and one business manager quit. And she refused to hire replacements., dumbest thing ever. Sales management used to be 6 of us, now was 3 and I started to work 70 -80 hours a week.And the salaried business and sales managers were now also working twice as much for the same pay, so exhaustion was full bore and morale was very low.. She came after me and complained about 80 hours of overtime per check and wrote me up- no more overtime, my position no longer existed and only to fill in for the sales manager. Malicious Compliance- that's what you want, that's what you'll get.

So then for 7 weeks mounds of paperwork were piling up, we had a crazy busy 6 weeks and as I wasn't ordering new cars (regional manager called and I told him to talk to Daughter and she told them things were fine) we were running out of new inventory, people weren't trading in much so I didn't go to auctions so used car lot was almost empty, my lot manager quit so used cars weren't getting reconditioned, etc. OFC me and the two remaining managers had a meeting and knew about this, and they were planning their exits.

Then in a meeting with the entire dealership there, she made the mistake of picking on me for my "poor performance". But the entire dealership already knew what was going on, as they'd ask me about things and I told them it wasn't my job any more. Well I didn't have a family and mortgage, so she stood there mouth open as I tore right into her and told her everyone quit because she's a useless C word, she's destroying her father's legacy, this dealership is going down, FK you you told me not to do my job go FK yourself etc I quit. Dead silence as I flipped her off with both hands, she screamed meeting over so on the way out I was shaking hands with the mechanics, service guys, salesmen etc.

Week later the last sales manager quit, the business manager a week later then all the sales staff quit as there was no financing or management except for her running around in a huff. And it got out to be a toxic place so no salesmen or managers applied to work. Service department was always busy but I drove by couple weeks later and the place looked like a ghost town. Of course I kept in touch with a couple service guys there- she tried getting service guys to work in sales (didn't work) and decided to order a whole bunch of cars and they were the wrong vehicles so 2-3 months later was a lot full of cars that we sold few of before this all went down.

Then I saw it up for sale, was bought and someone tried but lasted a year as the other same brand dealership across the city took advantage and doubled in size. Three of the managers ended up there, many of the salesmen, mechanics etc. OFC I was offered a job there but went out working for myself in wholesaling cars, and ended up there several times a week selling them used cars and buying others off them. Then I saw her in the city over working as a Starbucks manager, and she went beet red as we locked eyes- so daddy cut her off- and OFC I let everyone know.

All she had to do was come in a couple days a week, make the rounds, and sip lattes in her office...

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/random_tingler on 2024-10-19 11:52:59+00:00.

I've been working as a lead in an IT firm from India that supports a US client.

I have a manager here in India who approves my PTO, handles performance reviews, and meets with us a few times a month. His and the management’s view is that the work we do is for the client, but we should also contribute to the organization. So, we’re encouraged to take up additional tasks like recruiting or preparing business reviews. Essentially, we need to be available during the day.

I also have another manager in the USA, who is Indian as well. He coordinates with the customer and handles any escalations related to our work. His main concern is ensuring there are zero escalations from the client.

The clients assign us projects, and we interact with them directly. We have meetings every day, usually lasting at least two hours.

Since we're paid a monthly salary, there’s no extra money for additional hours worked. Both managers take advantage of this. There are no strict working hours, but we must be available from 7 PM to 10 PM IST, which corresponds to 9 AM to 12 PM US time.

Typically, we start working at 10 AM, continue until 5 PM, and then resume from 7 PM to 10 PM. Sometimes, meetings with clients extend an extra 30 minutes to an hour. Our US manager connects with us after the meetings with client.

One day, I had a lot of work to finish and decided to work from home instead of commuting. I had a 3-hour client meeting followed by a knowledge transition session, so I was fully occupied.

The onsite manager asked me to schedule a meeting with him. I told him my day was packed till mid night. He refused and said he needed 30 minutes of my time. I asked if he could join a little earlier before my meetings, but he said no. Then I asked is 12 AM fine for him. He said yes and schedule the meeting at 12 AM, all happened over teams chat.

I decided to take his own words against him, so I scheduled the meeting for 12 AM his time, which was 10 AM the next day for me, thinking, “If you expect me to be available at midnight, why not you?” That was the last time he expected me to be available post mid night.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Salt-Department7431 on 2024-10-19 07:14:30+00:00.

I work with one of the IT MNC in India. I have a team of 4 engineers including myself. Let's call them Nena, Sana, Nana, and myself (Papa).

All 4 of us are very well-bonded teammates handling tremendous workloads. Last year, our manager, who supported us greatly, had to leave the organization for personal reasons. We worked on some of the most critical and technically complicated projects without making a fuss about it. Our manager knew our contribution and always helped and encouraged us.

After his departure, a new manager joined our team. He had the attitude of taking every technical detail lightly. According to him, all we engineers do is simple work and can be googled in 10 minutes without much hassle. He started treating us like shit, by not approving our leaves (PTOs), rejecting our allowance requests, and asking us to do his work.

We took this shit for about 2-3 months and then started to push back saying we already have a tremendous workload and we could not work with a manager like him. He retaliated saying that teammates are not efficient with work. He kept on abusing us for a couple of months.

All 4 of us were tired of his condescension. Nena was looking for a job outside, and so was Sana. Both of them, being damn good at what they do, got jobs elsewhere and resigned. I also resigned as I was aiming for higher education. Nana got another project within the firm and moved out.

Now that all 4 of us left the project, the manager had to fill in the position, and looking at the workload, every candidate interviewed rejected the offer to join the project. Now the project is flagged as red due to multiple escalations from customer and the firm has to fire the manager.

Moral of the story - Don't try to fuck with engineers.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/NewAir0803 on 2024-10-19 01:46:26+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/georgetgwtbn on 2024-10-18 20:29:52+00:00.

Some months after my mum sold up and downsized I got a letter from a debt collection agency saying I owed them £134 and some pence including interest and fees. I had no idea what this was for so phoned them.

It was for the broadband service at my mum's old house (now sold) which had been cancelled a short time before she moved, along with the attached phone line.

I explained that there must have been a mistake as the phone line and broadband were all in one package and I had cancelled it, all together, at the same time, since the house was sold. The query went back to the supplier.

They called me and said they had been unable to cancel the broadband part of the service because the cancellation had not come in from the account holder. But I was the account holder!?

They said no, the account holder is Mr [my father's name]. I explained that there really must have been a mix up as he had died a few years earlier and I took over control of the telephone line and broadband account, paying that (single) bill for my mother (along with some other regular bills since she no longer had my father's income to cover things.)

They insisted that they HAD to speak with the account holder and could no longer speak with me on the matter and refused to speak with me again. Despite all the collection letters and threats of legal action being taken against me, not my deceased dad!

They wouldn't take no for an answer - so I drove to his grave, phoned them up and said [Account holder] is here - you can speak to him if you want. I left the mobile by the grave stone while I wandered around the quiet and pretty churchyard.

I heard some irate voices at the end of the line, so picked up the phone and asked if they'd had any joy speaking with the account holder. An angry voice asked what was going on, so I explained where I was and that I'd love to know if my dad had said anything to them since I had been unable to reach him under 6 feet of churchyard dirt since we buried him a couple of years earlier.

Silence at the end of the phone.

I was passed to a manager who apologised profusely and said they'd sort it all out at their end. A month or so later the debt collection agency sent me a letter saying the matter had been resolved with no balance owing.

TLDR: They insisted on speaking with my long deceased father, so I tried to oblige.

For any who ask why I didn't just pretend to be my father - my voice is in no way masculine and I wasn't about to go to the hassle of coaching a male friend or getting a voice machine for something so silly.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/mdlapla on 2024-10-18 20:02:27+00:00.

I was cutting bread and remembered this bit if MC from my youth in Argentina.

I have a couple cousins whose grandpa (not mine, on the other side of the family) used to be the town baker when I was like 5 or 6.

Picture a small town with "the town's bakery" kind of place. Bakery includes a chicken coop for eggs, GrandpaBaker's house, a huge oven and prepping area, storage room with piles of flour sacks as high as mountains, a well for the water, a pantry, the office and the bakery itself. Huge huge place, probably more than 100 meters long and 50 meters wide.

For me and my bigger cousin (about my age) being let loose there is like the ultimate playground, we can climb mountains of flour sacks, we can try to catch chickens, we can run from store to the back but, the biggest thing ever... There are A LOT of amazing baked goods to eat.

So much so that they have to close the store during GrandmaBaker's nap time because we sneak in and rampage.

GrandpaBaker works night shifts until like 10-11am, so he's out cold until 5-6pm everyday also.

Both my cousin and I had, then, baby brothers, so our mums couldn't be on top of ourselves all day.

The rampaging keeps getting out of hand so GrandmaBaker calls cousin and me and says "look, while I'm taking a nap, you can't have any baked goods or anything the store sells, am I clear?"

"Yeeeees GrandmaBaker!"

If you've ever been to Argentina, you probably know what "dulce de leche" is. To Argentinians is, probably, the most delicious thing ever. Think peanut butter or chocolate spread but 10 times better.

And it's not a baked good. And the store doesn't sell it. But the pantry is full of it because it is USED in baked goods (think croissant with dulce the leche inside).

You know where this is going, right?

Wooden spoon in hand (the kind you use to stir a stew), cousin and I sneak into the pantry and probably eat something like half a kilo or more of dulce de leche each.

Malicious compliance (and a huge stomach ache later on) never tasted soooooo good.

TLDR: GrandmaBaker forbids us to eat baked goods, we eat the most tasteful ingredient of them all.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/SPEEDYTBC on 2024-10-18 13:42:24+00:00.

Got a parking ticket and the meter maid crashed into my car and tried to blame me so I do the modern equivalent of paying by Pennys - have bank send 14 checks totaling the amount plus one cent. I write the citation number with a couple digits spelled out “67-one3eightsix” to confuse optical character recognition and force manual processing. On the last one I demand refund for any and all overpayment via check mailed to me.

So far payments processed and I’m waiting for 1 cent refund. Meter maid vehicle camera was inconclusive on fault so that is up in the air.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/shantron5000 on 2024-10-18 03:24:57+00:00.

I got an email to “Rate Your Seller” from Amazon so I figured what the hell, I’ll indulge them since I’m just watching football. Apparently it’s not that easy though. It wouldn’t let me proceed or post my feedback without a 400-character-long comment. And it wouldn’t accept lengthy copypasta symbols either, so eventually I got creative and just started making popcorn on the keyboard. Here’s the result:

“Item arrived before schedule. No issues. 400-character-long comment obligation being fulfilled now………………………!……………….. ……………!………………………….. …………………………!…………….. ………………………………………..’ngffhhcfujbgffdfffdtygvjiojgfdssybvffhhfdfukbggffffgggfdyuvgfghhgggggfgugggfgghhhhhhhgfgjiugbiihggjihgvhjigghhhgggvhjuhgfgjihvhjugvhiijjhgfgjiigfgiiihfffgjuuggfffgguiohgfftuyuuiiuuygfffttyiihgftuuhgfdguikjgghuookhgggtfguiijjhj”

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/bakedn8er on 2024-10-18 03:01:54+00:00.

Every year my wife and I put on an employee appreciation day for our small business. I encourage them to bring family, and we rent a large pavilion at a local park. Usually ends up being about 50 people. I usually hire it to be catered, but this year I spent more on the rental (location) and less on the food. This idea seemed to be preferred. So I pre ordered, via phone, Zachsbees. The order total was nearly $300. I got all the way across town and realized there was only one bag of sauce, there should have been two. So I go back, and to my surprise they decide to charge me $.25 per sauce. I was missing 16. I explained to the cashier, and then again to the asst. manager that I had already paid, but the sauce had been forgotten. They demanded I pay the $4 or kick rocks. So, knowing credit card company’s charge a min. Fee to the merchant, I spent the next half hour buying sauce on my CC waiting 3 minutes between each transaction so the charges couldn’t be merged. One sauce at a time. I got my sauce, and cost them way more than the sauce price.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/DougSJR on 2024-10-17 18:32:10+00:00.

This past July, I moved my cell service from Verizon to another carrier. The move went with very few hitches. I was notified that I had a credit that they returned to me.

In August, I received a bill for ONE CENT. As I was no longer a Verizon customer, I couldn't fix it on their website. I went to the local company store and paid it (I even offered them choice of cash or debit card). I figured I was done with it.

In September, I received another bill for ONE CENT. Cue malicious compliance (even if lightweight).

I scheduled a payment for THREE CENTS. And I set it to recur every month until I get tired of it.

And I stopped at the same company store and advised them so.

This month, I got an email that I have a credit of $0.02. But they're getting another payment on October 30th. And again until I'm satisfied this is resolved. It will probably cost them a bunch in EFT costs :-)

To paraphrase Ernestine (SNL 9/18/76): I'm the former customer. I don't care. I don't have to.

Edit: I'm sure I'm not the first person to have this happen with Verizon. It's the first time it happened to me. In one of my comments, I posted a link to the email I got with a $0.02 credit (the previous ones had already been trashed).

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Maleficent-Way8694 on 2024-10-17 16:38:54+00:00.

A few years ago now I worked as a nurse in Wales. There was a junior sister there who was an odd woman. She would openly bully a couple of staff members by telling them to do a faster hand over by entering the room several times during said hand over to tell them to be quicker, until she was told that they would be a lot quicker if they hadn’t been made to stop several times during their report.

I didn’t drive at the time so had to take the bus, one early shift the bus was a bit late which made me 5 minutes late to the start of the shift. I was told by junior sister that I would need to take the 5 minutes off my 20 minute coffee break or work an additional 5 minutes at the end of my shift. When I started to voice my annoyance at being punished for something out of my control, I was told ‘your working hours are from 7-30 am to 3-00pm with one 20 minute break’. I chose to deduct the 5 minutes from my already short break as leaving 5 minutes late would leave me late for my bus home.

A few shifts later I was getting on with my work and had a few care plans to rewrite, at the time all notes were hand written, as I had been a bit frosty with junior sister, just keeping any conversations strictly professional I sat down to start rewriting said care plans. Junior sister asked if I wanted a hand to which I replied if you would like to, thank you, to which she picked a bunch up and went into her office. Cue malicious compliance, bang on 3 pm I packed up my things grabbed my coat and made a point of saying goodbye to junior sister, she looked up from her desk and asked me where I was going to which I responded home, she said she was still writing my care plans and would I write a couple so she can get them done quicker, yes, you guessed it, I replied with, ‘ my working hours are from half seven till three, I get no leeway when my bus is late so I will no longer be staying after my shift has finished, I will just hand over any outstanding jobs to the next shift’ to which I walked off, I would like to say the look on her face was priceless, but I had already left the ward and didn’t see it, so worth loosing 5 minutes to not be able to finish my food on my break.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Charming_Artist_1202 on 2024-10-17 06:32:58+00:00.

About two decades ago, worked for a company which reimbursed meals when your work out of town.

BUT NO ROOM SERVICE.

Not even if you order within allowance.

Was once too tired to go out after a 0630-2030 work day, had to pay out of pocket because accounts bounced the receipt.

Meeting 2 sets of clients in my suite in a country a continent away, first one overran, only 1 hour before the next, and had to set up the room.

Cue M.C.

It was a time when long-distance calls were ridiculously expensive. Called accounts. Assistant manager took call, manager nowhere to be found.

AM: Will ask her to call you back

Me: I need to know as there is just scarcely enough time for me to shove food in. I will hold the call.

Manager returned about 10 mins later.

Me: So may I order room service? Not enough time to set up if i have to leave for food.

Manager:..... you do know this call is probably cost more than your meal, right?

Me: Of course. But I don't want to run afoul company policy. So, do I get your approval to order room service?

Manager: (sigh) Yes, you may. Next time use your discretion and common sense.

Me: But common sense is not that common in this company......

She never messed with me on reimbursement again.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/firakti on 2024-10-16 19:44:56+00:00.

I work in a small office, and like a lot of companies, we’ve got that one manager who’s obsessed with cutting costs—ours is “Mark.” Mark wasn’t a bad guy, but he had this laser focus on reducing expenses, no matter how small. One of his biggest obsessions was paper. He was convinced we were blowing our budget on printing, so he implemented a new policy: Everything had to be double-sided.

It wasn’t a suggestion. It was a hard rule. Mark sent an email to everyone in the office, cc’ing HR to make it official: “From this point forward, all printing must be double-sided—no exceptions. If we catch unnecessary single-sided printing, there will be consequences.”

Most of us didn’t see it as a big deal for internal documents. But there were times it was a problem. We regularly worked with contracts, legal forms, and client documents—things that, for whatever reason, often had to be single-sided. A few of us raised concerns about this with Mark, but his response was always the same: “Rules are rules. Double-sided saves us money. Stick to the policy.”

Now, here’s where the compliance comes in.

A couple of weeks later, we got a massive contract from one of our biggest clients—let’s call them GreenTech. The deal was huge, easily one of the biggest projects we’d handled all year, and it came with a lot of paperwork. The instructions from GreenTech were crystal clear: the contract had to be printed single-sided to meet their legal department’s standards.

I figured this might be one of those rare cases where Mark would make an exception. So, I went to him, explained the situation, and showed him the client’s instructions.

Mark just shrugged and said, “Company policy is company policy. We’re not wasting paper. Double-sided.”

At this point, I knew where this was headed, but fine. I followed the rules. I printed the entire 80-page contract double-sided and sent it off to the client. A couple of days later, we get an email from GreenTech. They weren’t pleased. In fact, they were asking us to reprint the whole thing—single-sided this time—or they’d reconsider doing business with us.

When I showed the email to Mark, his face turned red. He had no choice but to backtrack and scramble to fix the mess. We ended up having to reprint the entire contract correctly and rush ship it to GreenTech overnight, which ended up costing us more in fees than the printing savings Mark had been so focused on.

The best part? After that fiasco, Mark quietly rolled back the “no exceptions” rule for double-sided printing, and we were all allowed to use our judgment on a case-by-case basis. Funny how a little compliance with bad policies can show why they don’t work in practice.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/1onesomesou1 on 2024-10-16 13:31:41+00:00.

My housemates are the most insufferable people on the planet. i could go on for hours all the petty and downright aggressive ass shit they've done but for the sake of this post I'll keep it very short.

Both of them have these stupid things they get so anal over for no reason. for one of them it's leaving drawers and cabinets open (even by 1/2 an inch) if she catches you she will literally scream and threaten to hit you.

the other is the door, the leaky faucet he's convinced everyone is doing on purpose, and lights being turned on for .2 seconds. One of the more recent things he's decided to be petty over is the heat being on, at all.

for context it's a two story house. Roommate 1 sleeps downstairs. me and roommate two sleep upstairs. Im on the north side of the house and have very poor insulation. he's on the south side and has amazing insulation. regardless, it doesn't justify his actions because he's also a landlord for another property and knows that you need to keep heat on at least 60 to be legal and up to code. I stay upstairs 99% of the time because i hate interacting with them. they're downstairs 90% of the time except to sleep.

He goes upstairs every few hours during the day just to check the thermostat and if it's anything above "OFF" he goes right over to me and demands i 'stop playing with the heat'.

this month the night temps have been 40 degrees at MOST, by the way. i had turned the heat up to a mere 60 degrees because i don't want the pipes in my room to freeze + i have mice and they will LITERALLY DIE if they're exposed to <60 degree weather.

as soon as he came upstairs he turned it all the way off and CAME IN TO MY ROOM TO BITCH AT ME IN MY SLEEP (i know because my door was open when i woke up. i keep it shut and normally LOCKED bc of how violent they are for no reason.)

I woke up at 1am to my room being 38° and my dog whining.

so i went right out and bought a 1500watt convection heater and a heating pad for my mice (20watt); on nearly 24 hours a day every single day.

he's the one who pays the majority of the electrical bill. Want to play 'lord of the thermostat' to the point it's literally criminal and is going to destroy the house's pipes? then you should have no problem paying the extra $200+ a month to heat my room! :)

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/withaph64 on 2024-10-15 18:21:15+00:00.

I worked for a large corporation as a shift manager in our data center so I had to review tickets from the prior shift, we had a ticketing system most corporations would be used to but our night maintenance worker that handled stopped up toilets and bulb replacements, this was something he didn’t use until new management said he needed to track his work in our ticketing system, this didn’t sit well with him but he complied. Granted this was several years ago so I don’t have the exact verbage but the entries stuck with me because they were so funny:

Entry #1 Asked to remove rabbits from flower garden at main entrance, took pellet gun, shot 6 times, hit 1. Took pellet gun back to shop, re-sighted gun. Shot 4 times hit 3.

Entry #2 Asked to unclog toilet in women’s bathroom on 4th floor, found what looked to be several pounds of turds and 1 1/2 rolls of toilet paper. Had to punch that doggie several times before it cleared.

Entry #3 Asked to replace light bulb above receptionist desk, evidently not bright enough for her to fix her makeup, added two 200 watt bulbs, should be bright enough for her to see herself now.

I stopped seeing entries after about a month, next time I saw him I asked him why I wasn’t seeing any more entries from him, he told me they took his access to the ticketing system away, which he said with a big smile.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/CEO_Of_Rejection_99 on 2024-10-14 20:10:06+00:00.

Don't worry, no hard feelings were caused.

Context. For a previous assignment I had to research a topic, so I made an 11-page document (I admit it did have a lot of extraneous info though). I didn't want to print it so I emailed it to my friend to present it on her iPad.

When I presented my submission, the professor was confused, so he wanted all of us to redo the assignment, this time only one page.

So I had an idea. I simply exported a PDF of my original document with all 11 pages on a single sheet (with the feature in Adobe Acrobat where you can print multiple pages on one sheet) that I called my prank file. Don't worry, I also made a legitimate submission that was shortened to two pages (the professor was OK with it). I emailed both files to my friend, then instructed her to open my prank submission first, then right as the professor becomes disappointed in my work to pull up my actual submission next.

Today I go to class and I eagerly await as I see my friend open the prank file and show it to my professor. We all laughed and he commented on how tiny the text was. Then she opened my actual submission and I presented that work. He congratulated me on completing the assignment. What a day.

TL;DR: Professor asked me to redo my assignment and shorten an 11-page document to one page, so I printed all 11 pages on one sheet in a PDF and presented it to my professor. Then I presented my actual submission.

EDIT: The professor did not specify the 1 page requirement and other things he wanted us to research until the retake. There are only two other students in the class; one was a piece of paper with both sides printed and the other was a 6 page long PDF file. Professor was OK and happy with them both. Prior to the retake, other students also presented multi page long documents (one of which were 3 sheets of paper with both sides printed). I submitted a 2 page file because I felt it was impossible to shorten the paper down to one page without removing the more important info, plus our pages had to include pictures which took up a lot of page space. I figured that it would be the equivalent of printing both sides of one sheet of paper anyway.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/wavking on 2024-10-14 08:13:54+00:00.

Inspired by a recent post. This was actually a lesson taught to our class by a physics teacher. He describes a poorly worded test question that said “how can you use a barometer to find the hight of a building?” Now obviously the tester wanted to know how to use barometric pressure to calculate elevation. But that’s not what they asked. So one clever student gave three different answers:

1. Tie a string to the barometer and lower it to the ground . Measure the length of the string. That’s by the hight of the building.
2. Drop the barometer from the top of the building and time how long it takes to hit the ground. Use the formula for acceleration due to gravity to determine the height.
3. Find the building superintendent and tell him you’ll give him this nice barometer if he’ll tell you the hight of the building.

I don’t remember how the student fared in the question, but the lesson was burned into my memory. As another teacher had a slogan on a number sticker, “a well asked question is a problem half solved”

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Bubbly_Fawn on 2024-10-14 05:38:23+00:00.

So, I was in seventh grade, and my first class of the day was Biology. Well, my teacher was honestly a pretty mean-spirited person and she was constantly looking for ways to get kids into trouble.

The night before, we’d been assigned a study packet, and apparently, most of the class had not been doing a great job turning in the homework assignments lately. So, she decided to take that opportunity to ask each of us and write down publicly (on the board) who had ___ amount of answers done in the packet.

Rewind to that morning. I, of course, had procrastinated until the last minute and was quickly copying answers from a friend. However, even the time for that ran out so I just started writing random words in the blank spaces (thinking that she wouldn’t pay that close of attention). My packet was filled with words like “cheeseburger” and “peanut butter” and so on and so forth.

Well, fast forward to her asking me how many answers I had completed on my packet and… with a smile, I cheerfully said “All of them.” That must have really set off warning bells in her head because she came over to my desk and proceeded to read my BS answers. She reamed me out for lying to her and, with an innocent look on my face, I said “Well, you asked how many answers I had, and I told you. You did not ask how many of them were correct.”

Mic drop. 😅

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/MLMCMLM on 2024-10-14 00:34:09+00:00.

When I was in high school we got a new principal who had a very annoying “policy” (idk what else to call it) where 2x a week we would stay extra in home room and be given a prompt to write about. Now I actually LOVE to write… fiction. The prompts we were given were always hallmark special dribble that were stale to write. Think along the lines of “write about a time you and your friend had an argument and how you worked through it” type of prompts. I found them belittling, boring, and a waste of both students and teachers time. Sometimes I’d refuse to write, sometimes I’d write like two sentences just to appease my teacher; idk why they irked me so badly but they really did.

So one day we got a prompt along the lines of “write about a time when you were/felt disrespected and how you overcame it”. Initially I just refused to write but my teacher (who was my fav teacher) pushed saying I needed to write SOMETHING to turn in. I sat thinking for bit before a PERFECT scenario came to mind and I felt like I was grinning like the grinch. I decided to write about my orientation at the school.

So when I went to orientation my mom went with me and it started in the auditorium with the principal giving a speech/overview. We sat in the front row and I noticed the principal check out my mom more than once. After the auditorium we could walk around and my mom wanted to ask the principal some questions. During their interaction I once again noticed him checking out my mom’s boobs; she was just in a T-shirt but is a C cup so even in a basic T-shirt there’s some cleavage. Afterwards my mom said how nice he was and I looked at her and said “mom. He was checking you out the WHOLE time.” And we moved on.

I wrote about this and also mentioned how he never apologized and how I felt he had disrespected both of us. I turned it in with a shit eating grin. Being my favorite teacher, they knew something was up when I had actually completed this writing prompt while also being happy about it. I sat down and they immediately started reading it. He let out a surprised loud “HA HA!” and I looked over with a smile and said “what’s wrong teacher, something funny?” He just snickered quietly while the rest of the class looked at me confused.

I thought that was the end of it, but later got called to the guidance counselor. They had my writing and asked me about it. One of the first defenses was “I’m sure he wasn’t really staring at her chest, sometimes he just isn’t paying attention.” Which instantly made it worse to me since they were essentially defending him. When they realized that didn’t go the way they wanted she switched to “I’m sorry you both felt this way about the interaction, would you like us to talk to him about it? We could arrange for him to apologize to you both if that will help resolve things.” I said no.

Tbh I hadn’t found it to be a huge deal, men can be disrespectful and this was an instance of that so I just wanted to move on and forget it, not bring more attention to myself. I had written about it more to throw his stupid prompt assignment back in his face rather than try to get an apology from him. Idk if he ever saw or was told about the writing but it was a satisfying morning for me.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/WordWizardx on 2024-10-13 17:58:24+00:00.

A comment on another post today reminded me of this one from my son’s 10th grade history class last year:

The teacher loved giving out paper homework assignments that were vaguely related to the topic (when every other teacher does homework electronically). Fonts and layouts differed greatly. The students quickly figured out that their teacher was literally just googling their topic + “worksheet” and printing out the first result that looked vaguely high school level, whether or not it actually covered the portions of the topic she assigned. Many of the worksheets had an answer key online, so of course everyone looked up the answers.

Finally one bright soul (okay, it was my kid) printed out a worksheet with the answer key included and submitted it from “student name: Google” along with his regular work. She wants easy-to-google answers, she can have them.

She didn’t entirely stop the pointless worksheets after that, but there sure seemed to be a lot fewer of them!