The Q3 numbers have a life of their own. Growing, shrinking, zig zagging all over the place. Pushing needles, pulling levers. And fyi, the roi is tbd. high five synergy!
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Referring to people, staff as resources. Nice and dehumanizing.
There are many but I find "let's double-click on that" particularly grating
I always reply with, "Or we could right-click on that to see our options".
I’ve never heard that one. What does that mean?
It means let's take a closer look at a problem or project. Sounds like a Microsoftism
Cheers. I might use that one next time I’m in a meeting with the BAs haha
I heard "rightsizing" for the first time last year.
I have no idea what knucklehead PR dumbass came up with that but it made the following layoffs even more unpalatable.
The only time I hear rightsizing is for cloud resources. I've never heard of it in human resources. That sucks.
Alright, team, let’s circle back and ensure we’re fully aligned on our north star objectives. We need to leverage synergy, engage in blue-sky thinking, and touch base on our pain points to drive mission-critical outcomes. But let’s not boil the ocean with unnecessary jargon - at the end of the day, we need to optimize our bandwidth for real, value-driven impact. If we keep moving the needle with this kind of thought leadership theater, we risk losing sight of our core competencies and drowning in a sea of meaningless buzzwords. Let’s pivot toward clear, actionable insights and sunset the overuse of strategic messaging before it becomes a blocker to true innovation. Instead of just playing the fast-follow game with every trending framework, let’s focus on original, high-impact execution that actually drives results.
~~Thoughts?~~ Chris, do you have any builds?
No?
Good. Then let's action this and drive it across the finish line!
Jesus fucking Christ. This was excellently written and horribly real.
Thanks. It hit close to home. I hate it.
Perfect except for ‘Thoughts?’ Instead of that it should be an appeal to the speaker’s boss: ‘Chris, do you have any builds?’
I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
"Good catch!"
Usually said when you bring up something that needs fixing, and said as a way to puff you up and not actually follow up on the problem.
- Ideate
- Ask (noun)
- Table
Does “tabling” mean putting a subject on the table or taking it off?
“That’s a big ask” drives me crazy. I’ve been hearing it everywhere lately. When did ‘ask’ become a noun?
A huge ask. The biggliest ask. Sir Mixalot dreams about this ask.
Tabling means to save for later. You put it in the table to deal with it another time.
So tabling it means it’s off the table?
Think of it as you’re holding a bag of groceries. You are going to put things away in the bag, but maybe some things need to go somewhere else so you pull it out of the bag and put it on the table to put it away later.
You’ve tabled it.
Is this different from putting it in the parking lot?
Lets park this discussion for now, we'll circle back to it later.
Yup
Synergy
Mostly because I have never heard it used correctly in the context of a copprate speech/talk.
Does it mean the same thing in corporate as in balatro
Bio break.
I don’t think I have to elaborate on that one.
I work at a school and that one gets used sometimes. A lady that helps us develop programming said it quite often and my colleagues picked it up, I don’t use it myself.
This is a gamer term. I've never heard it in a business environment. Even as a IT engineer.
Lucky you, it’s all over my company.
I heard teachers use that term. 🤷♂️
I like it because it's so vague.
A nap is pretty biological! And nobody will ask why your bio break was an hour long.
Thats not so much a corpo thing as a gamer thing IMO.
"AFK, Bio break" is much quicker to type.
Quicker than “brb, bathroom”?
“brb”
- Alignment
- Scalable
- Circle back
If you use these regularly I KNOW the meeting you just booked me into should have been an email.
Touch base too
FUCK touching base that one's the worst.
AI
But specifically "How could we use AI?". If you dont know you don't need it. Also looking st you big tech.
"Tribal knowledge."
- image: We, clan. Together, strong.
- reality: Ask Tommy if he remembers how to reset the printer
Though, I actually like this one. It's a pretty cool phrase you can use anywhere.