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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/ImpressiveChoice9674 on 2025-05-29 15:13:25+00:00.

I do billing at a mid sized office, invoice, payment logs, spreadsheets, real thrilling stuff. It’s not technically my job to answer phones, but when reception’s drowning, i usually help out, or…. used to.

Last week my manager goes “Let’s stick to what’s actually in your job description, alright? Just focus on billing” sure thing, sounds like less hassle for me. So that’s what i did, phone rings? Not my problem. Someone asking for help up front? Not my lane, i just kept tapping away at payable like it was life or death.

By day two our office manager’s practically spinning plates trying to keep up, my boss glances at me like he’s waiting for me to tag in. I just said “just doin billing, like you said” he just nodded. Hasn’t brought it up again and yep, that job description’s now taped to my monitor, front and center.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/sweetgurllllll on 2025-05-29 14:36:44+00:00.

I’m a cashier at a small hardware store. My manager, Dave, is obsessed with “efficiency.” Last week, he chewed me out for chatting with a regular about his DIY project. Said, “Stop wasting time with customers. Scan items, take payment, done.” His exact words: “No one cares about your little conversations.”

Fine, Dave.

Now, I’m a robot. Scan items, state total, bag stuff, no eye contact, no words beyond “cash or card?” Customers are confused. One old guy even asked, “You okay, kid? You’re usually so chatty.” I just shrugged and said, “Store policy.” Sales dropped a bit bcos our regulars love the personal touch. Yesterday, Dave got a complaint from a loyal customer who said the store’s “lost its charm.” He’s been glaring at me, but can’t say anything since I’m following his orders to a T.

Now he’s stuck doing damage control, and I’m just here scanning like a good little robot.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Leehblanc on 2025-05-29 11:54:12+00:00.

I've always been a malicious compliance kind of guy. I also follow the rules to the letter... but I tend to make them work in my favor.

My workplace has traditionally done early dismissal on the day before a holiday. Over 20 years ago, HR discovered that people were taking advantage... coming in earlier and leaving earlier, coming in later and working less time, etc. So the HR director at the time put out a memo via email that the schedule for the "half day" before a holiday would be a regular schedule. You were to come in at your normal start time take your normal breaks, etc. Most of the staff worked 8-4 and dismissal was at 1. There is also a rule that employees must be provided a lunch break after 6 hours of work.

I read the memo about the "regular schedule" and thought it was silly for me to come in at 8, take an (unrequired) lunch break at 12 (my regular schedule) and leave at 1. I would just work the 5 hours and jet. On the morning of the early dismissal, me and some others were discussing how it didn't make sense. I returned to my desk and hit "Reply All" to the email the HR Director sent out, asking if it didn't just make sense to skip lunch and work a straight 5. She and I had a history. I wasn't the best employee at the time, and I ALWAYS cited chapter and verse when they bent or broke a rule. Well, even though I was trying to be helpful and my idea would have actually worked out in the workplace's favor, I guess all she saw was my name and a question. She replied to "All" and in ALL CAPS "THERE IS NO DISCUSSION! IT IS A REGULAR WORK DAY. YOU START AT YOUR REGULAR TIME, TAKE BREAKS AT YOUR REGULAR TIME, AND LEAVE AT 1PM!!" This actually resulted in more lost time that the start-time shenanigans they were trying to eliminate. Now EVERYONE got an extra paid hour off, with the slight inconvenience of having to return to punch out. We're 10 minutes from a large shopping area, so that hour is a trip to the supermarket on the day before Thanksgiving, or stocking stuffers on Christmas Eve.

For 20 years, this policy was carried forward. On early dismissal days, we would come in at 8, take break from 9-9:15, then leave for lunch at 12 only to return at 1 to punch out. It was changed a few years ago to a policy where you only had to work 5 hours to accomodate the people who regularly come in earlier than 8, but we are still directed to take all breaks on a regular schedule.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/rusty0123 on 2025-05-29 11:08:12+00:00.

The moss garden gave me a chuckle, so I decided to share my neighborhood malicious compliance.

I live in a sort of pocket neighborhood. When I first moved here everyone was pretty chill. Mostly lovely older people. No HOA. As neighbors got older and less active, we took care of each other. Mowed others lawns, etc.

As people retired or downsized, a younger group moved in. New couples, children, corporate types. And the code violation complaints start rolling in.

Our town is not too bad. Grass has to be less than 12" tall, no brush, etc. But one weird quirk, if your flowers and plantings are not clearly marked as landscaping (like borders around flowerbeds), they are considered "lawn" and must be cut to under 12".

So suddenly, we had to dig up things like flowers planted along the sidewalk, or bulbs that bloomed seasonally.

Then one of the neighbors discovered that our state has a "wildlife habitat" designation for areas allowed to grow wild.

The only rule to apply for a "wildlife habitat" permit is that half your plants must be native.

That is easy compliance. Say if you have 25 trees, shrubs, and plants in your yard, you can plant 26 native flowering plants and now you're a "wildlife habitat".

Post your little state-approved sign, and the city code compliance can't touch you.

Every other house in my neighborhood is now a wildlife habitat.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/BIind_Uchiha on 2025-05-29 07:45:46+00:00.

So this happened last summer, and I still chuckle about it.

I live in a pretty cookie-cutter suburban neighborhood with a notoriously annoying HOA. They’re the kind of people who will measure the height of your grass and fine you $50 if it’s “over regulation.”

Now, I’ve always kept my property neat, but we had this one board member, Rick, who took his job way too seriously. He’d do these random patrols around the neighborhood, taking photos of violations like some kind of parking lot vigilante.

One day I get a notice in the mail: “TRASH CANS VISIBLE FROM THE STREET - MUST BE KEPT OUT OF SIGHT AT ALL TIMES.”

Mind you, I kept mine at the side of my house, next to my fence. Not on the curb, not in the front yard—just barely visible if you were really trying. But apparently, that was too much for Rick.

I called to ask for clarification. I asked, “You mean just not on the curb except on trash day, right?” “No,” Rick said. “They must not be visible from the street at all, regardless of where they’re stored.”

Alright, Rick. If it’s total invisibility you want… cue malicious compliance.

I went online and bought a giant trash can-shaped cover that looks like a hedge. Yes, they exist. It’s basically a fabric wrap with printed shrubbery on it. Then I placed it exactly where it was before—side of my house, slightly visible—but now camouflaged to look like a bush.

About a week later, I get another note.

But this time? It was a thank-you from the HOA for “taking initiative to beautify my property.” Rick apparently walked right past my “trash bush” and didn’t even notice it.

I left it there for months. Eventually, Rick must’ve caught on because I saw him stop his car, back up, and just stare at it. He never said a word.

But the rules say “not visible,” and, well… if he can’t tell it’s a trash can, then it isn’t, right?

Sometimes, playing by the rules is the most fun you can have.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/SilxKareN on 2025-05-29 06:35:02+00:00.

I live in a neighborhood with an HOA that loves making rules for the sake of making rules. They sent me a letter saying my front yard lawn (a mix of grass, herbs and clover) was too wild and not in compliance with neighborhood aesthetic guidelines.

Specifically, the letter stated:

The front yard must be uniformly green in appearance to match the neighborhood standard.

I guess they expected boring old Bermuda grass like everyone else. But they said uniformly green, not grass, right?

So I complied, maliciously.

I ripped up the existing patchy grass and replaced it with over 50 different species of moss from a local nursery and some online specialty stores. Shade moss, rock moss, fern moss you name it. Some bright green, some deep forest green, some almost velvety in texture.

It took a few weeks, but now my yard is a soft, surreal, undulating blanket of lush green mosses. And guess what? It’s completely uniform in color from the street.

The HOA hasn’t said a word since. I think they’re too confused or afraid to admit they don’t know how to argue with it. Meanwhile, the neighbors come by to touch it and say it’s the coolest yard on the block.

Mission accomplished.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/maris_sa on 2025-05-29 06:15:41+00:00.

So this happened a few years back when I worked at a small chain retail store. I was a part time shift supervisor, which basically meant I had all the responsibility and none of the pay.

We had this new manager, who came in like a hurricane. She was super into structure and rules and wanted everything to be done exactly how corporate outlined it. Fine, I’m all for structure, until it becomes absurd.

The issue started when we began getting inconsistent shipments and corporate would update our hours week by week. One week, we would close at 9pm. The next, 8pm. The posted hours on the door weren’t always updated quickly and I would sometimes use discretion to keep the store open a little later if I saw customers still browsing. You know, customer service.

But then Becky pulls me aside one day and said I was not being consistent. These were her words: I don’t care if there are 20 people in the store. If the schedule says close at 8, you close at 8. Lock the doors at 8 sharp. Don’t use your judgment. Follow the schedule no matter what.

Then she sent me a mail about it, just to remind me.

Cue malicious compliance.

That Friday, the mall was doing some late night promo thing and we were packed. Our schedule said 8pm closing, though. So I did what I was told.

At 7:55, I got on the intercom and announced:

Attention shoppers. The store will be closing in 5 minutes. Please bring your items to the front.

People were confused, other stores were staying open late. But I followed orders. At 8:00 sharp, I locked the doors. We had over 30 customers still inside, most with full carts.

I made them all check out or leave. Some were pissed, some just left everything behind. We lost a lot of sales.

The cherry on top? Becky showed up at 8 to check how we handled the crowd and was livid to find the store dark and closed. She tried to throw me under the bus but I had her email printed out and highlighted where she said

Do not use discretion. Follow the posted schedule exactly.

She got a formal write up from the district manager and from that point on, I was encouraged to use my judgment again.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Own-Lie8787 on 2025-05-29 02:09:26+00:00.

So, back circa 2000 I was a freshman in college. I didn’t have a wealthy family but got good scholarships from grades, but I still had to work 20 hours a week to make ends meet. I ended up working in the school cafeteria as a dishwasher, this position paid extra compared to other student positions and I got a free meal each shift. There were a couple full time staff supplemented by us students, they of course got the clean side of the conveyor belt washer (these guys were all great, very nice to us students). The other 3 spots (first spot on conveyor to pull silverware/cups/garbage, second conveyor spot rinsing/stacking dishes and the person loading washer) were typically students.

First quarter goes good, we’re a bit short handed but the group I usually worked with got on well and we all learned which spots we were fastest at - so when busy we’d all go where fastest to keep from getting overwhelmed. When slower we’d rotate to break up monotony.

Second quarter rolls around and someone in management decided we needed a “dish room supervisor”, enter new hire “Kevin”.

Kevin is a lazy jackass, he would spend 1-2 hours eating and would only come in to yell at us before disappearing. We all hated him.

Well one night it happened, Kevin decided he was going to order which spot we worked at. Of course he did this on a shift we were shorter than usual and somehow managed to put all 3 of us in our slowest spots. I of course tried to explain why we had been in different spots and should stay there. Kevin was having none of it, told me to shut up and do as he said or quit.

So I did, I said I was done and walked out. His expression was priceless. Even better when I changed and came back for dinner he was having to work himself in the first conveyor spot (close by tray drop off) so I made sure to smile at him.

I apologized to my friends for dipping out on them but they understood, they didn’t last too much longer either but Kevin apparently treated them nicer afterwards.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Conscious-Star6831 on 2025-05-28 23:27:42+00:00.

In my previous job, for the first several years I was pretty happy. But my manager got progressively more and more micromanage-y (or maybe it was the same amount, and I just got sicker and sicker of it). The demands and deadlines also became untenable, and I was finding myself extremely stressed all the time, and dreading going in to work most days.

Anyway, at a recent company town hall, one of the speakers said something to the effect of "if you don't love getting out of bed on Monday mornings and coming to work, you should go do something else." So shortly thereafter, I accepted a new, remote job that pays more, and at least for now, I'm happy there. Does that count as malicious compliance?

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/flintygooch on 2025-05-28 22:36:03+00:00.

Hello friends! I am new to this subreddit and community but was delighted to find myself here. Allow me to share my story:

About a decade prior, I was working as a manager for Gamestop (yup, that one). At the time, I decided to take a leap of faith and dye my hair blue. It looked great! I loved it, my colleagues loved it, customers loved it, and everything was hunky dory.

Cue the arrival of a customer survey, and a POSITIVE one at that: "The blue-haired dudette is awesome!" Let that sink in.

The next day, my district manager is in (he rarely stopped by, maybe once every two months) and pulled me aside for a chat: he'd seen the survey, and his response was an ultimatum to dye my hair back to a "normal" color by end of week or face repercussions.

Not only was I flabbergasted at this (I mean, come on, it's fucking GAMESTOP of all places, in the 2010s, where the nerds reign supreme and having blue hair could only help business), but I was determine to one-up him. Back in those days, I dabbled in cosplay, and because of this had an arsenal of wigs at my disposal. So, I proceeded to show up to work for the next month alternating between three wigs: a short brown bob, a long and kind of matted blonde one, and a wavy red one.

My supervisor was fucking furious, but because the colors were "natural" there was nothing he could do about it. Continued this until I decided my blue hair days were behind me.

Here's a hoorah to anyone else who has had the luxury of reveling in the sweet, sweet victory of malicious compliance.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/JudgeAffectionate841 on 2025-05-28 21:18:56+00:00.

I was a Lieutenant in the Army in the early 1990's. I was assigned to the training office at the staff level. Every 3 months, my Sergeant-First Class (SFC) and I had to put together these slide shows for our Battalion Commander to present to our Division Commander (DC). This is how our unit received approval for our budget for training.

This was before you could do a Power Point presentation. The slide shows were printed on acetate and we had several dry-runs with our Colonel (COL) and the Co Commanders before the actual presentation. The company's monthly calendars were included. One time our COL didn't think the calendars looked full enough and insisted more training be added. The problem was the calendars were actually full. It was just the way the calendars looked when printed.

After the COL harping on the calendars after the 3rd trial run, my SFC came up with a brilliant suggestion. (I was very lucky to work with him.) I implemented it and the COL approved the slide show and we proceeded with the briefing for the DC. Later, one of the Co Commanders and my direct supervisor asked how I solved the calendar issue. I said that SFC suggested I increase the font to make everything look fuller and that is what I did. It worked perfectly and got the COL off the calendar issue.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Khamero on 2025-05-28 21:09:11+00:00.

I work on the railway, and to put it simply was assigned to a project to check all incoming trains to the railyard during specific times. Now, for safety reasons for everyone involved, we need to tell the area control office when we are fiddling with a train, in case someone else is doing work on it (Bad times if we engage the brakes while someone is working on them for example). We get told that we should call in when we start checking a train, and once when we are done. So far, so good.

The control office however, were not prepared for how many train we were gonna check, and we were a handful of people, calling in twice for every train. Alot of calls, basically, but it worked.

Day 2 however we got new orders - we are to use the railyards own mobile app, where they make a list of all the trains we check and we just check in and out of the app. Super good for us since we can see if anyone else has entered that they are working on a train in the app. Super good for everyone involved!

Until day 3, when we left our list of trains for the day at the office, now with new personnel who proclaimed that they certinly did not have time to enter that whole list of trains into the app. Fair enough, we know we are a drain on their resources, and tell them thats fine, we will just call in when we start working on a train.

Now, we could sometimes call in and say "I'll be working on train XX, then YY, and later ZZ." and they would just check us into all of them since the trains just sit there most of the time if they are not being shunted or repaired (we could work around cleaners and other personnel safely), but not now. Now we call separately for the start and finish of each train. You can hear the control office people start figuring it out, they complained to our project manager, who basically said that we were clear to just phone in according to the rules. It took half the shift before the message came in that all the trains were in the app, and just use the app for all of it.

Apparently it was faster to just enter our list than taking oh so many calls for something rather trivial in the grand scheme of things.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Any_Caterpillar720 on 2025-05-28 21:00:34+00:00.

Not fired or anything, but how did you guys get these happy endings where your supervisors or managers backed off lol

I work for a start up lab. We are a relatively small operation and usually do contracts with big pharmas and a nearby university. Of course our clients and the FDA come by once in a while to audit our lab spaces, but we’re not and usually don’t do GMP.

When you hear GMP labs, think documentation, like a wholeeeeeeeee lot of documentation.

Which brings me to my new boss. He worked for a nearby pharma company, and his company does GMP. As a result, he HATES the way we document our experiments here. It’s puzzling, because one of our clients was his former employer, and they are always ok with it.

One day, he dug up a lab notebook of an experiment I performed like 18 months ago, and used it as an example of how to NOT document things. It made me very upset and honestly depressed for a couple of days, so I strived to make him regret doing that.

I went out of my way to document unecessary details and observations. I turned what was normally a 5 page experiment to 16-17 pages on average. He’s our boss now, that means he has to check our documentation before we send it to our clients.

I’ve basically turned what was a 30 min review into a 2 hr review. Given that he has to personally check every single website to see if I had the correct CofA, lot number, equipment IDs, etc. Even my former supervisor thought that I was being childish and petty.

I started seeing him staying late and reviewing my work as I walk out of the building with malicious glee. And it stayed this way for a couple of weeks before he called me in yesterday and told me that he notices me “taking the necessary steps to improve the quality” of my work and that he’s “proud” of me.

Like broooooo what do I even do lol, it’s actually a massive pain in the ass to do this, should I keep this up?

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/JadePrincess24 on 2025-05-28 20:26:42+00:00.

When I worked in the non-profit sector (director of a homeless shelter), they paid me salary. BUT they expected me to log everything I did throughout the day. I did this for the first couple of weeks of my job - vague stuff every hour or so. It would be things such as "client intake" or "meeting with volunteers." An hourly log is reasonable.

The micromanaging board member who was in charge of "overseeing" my work (keep in mind, they hired me to be the executive director... so they needed to trust me to know what the hell I was doing lol) decided they wanted more details.

I am petty, so, I decided to be extremely detailed. For the next two days I logged EVERYTHING down to the minute. Everything from "rolled my chair to the filing cabinet to pull resident discipline files" to "went to the bathroom to relieve myself." Every 1-5 minutes was logged for those 2 days.

On the third day, no more log required. LOL. The micromanager was none too happy about it. She questioned why I felt the need to log my bathroom breaks. Her general sentiment was "you know what we meant." But did I? I had done it their way- a reasonable way. But, that had not been good enough. I was kind enough to point this out... which only set her into a tailspin.

I am in the southern US, so all I got from her was the typical southern "Well I never!" And a walk away huff/puff lol.

Win!

Non-Profit Sectors are the absolute worst micromanagers!!

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/totem-fox on 2025-05-28 20:25:42+00:00.

Back when I worked in retail for a stupidly cheapass localized chain, I was the fresh meat department supervisor once my boss got fired for inside job theft. Part of the stupidly outdated training manual was that every half hour the person in charge of the department (myself or an assigned employee/manager/assistant manager/obnoxious corporate toadie) should make announcements for sale items and whatnot.

Now did I initially do everything to the outdated training manual? No, given that I had only one day of formal training (pre-2020 pandemic) and was expected by corporate to know everything. But when I was trained, the guy in charge said no one actually follows the training manual to the T except corporate. No shit sherlock.

After adjusting to the position, and while I was also simultaneously the de facto warehouse manager for 3 years, corporate starched suits come in every now and then, eventually frequently every week, and bitch about me not doing announcements to pick up sales when there's literally three markets around our location within walking distance of less than half a kilometer.

I didn't care, of course, until they threatened to lower my hourly rate. Which, as you guessed, was an empty threat because full-time supervisors can't be docked pay.

Edit 1: at the time, there were no available part-timers to fill either position because corporate couldn't afford to hire more on due to renovations, plumbing, and heating issues, so I wouldn't be fired anyways.

So then I came up with the idea of adding disclaimers and warranties, but only when the starched suits were around. After the most over-the-top stupid voice announcing, I'd always end each with a disclaimer like "We are not held liable for any side effects after purchase, including headache, nausea, fever, itchy and watery eyes, foaming at the mouth, and seizures" in the most menacingly pleasant way.

Funny enough, I'd also make some whacky sales pitch just to comply with the very-fequenting suited idiots. Such as "Today and tomorrow only, get boneless chicken breasts for $.99/lb! One time offer, exclusions may apply. Offer may change without prior notice and this store exclusive." And I'd say the disclaimers really fast like those radio car commercials.

Eventually the stooges stopped asking me to do announcements to their annoyance after about a month. Ironically, all the successful stores never were bothered by corporate and never really followed the training guides anyways, just the boss's orders. Now, no one does announcements, and I left last month anyways. I heard from the former co-workers that the customers miss the crazy sales pitches which was a breath of fresh air against a really bad shuffled playlist from corporate radio, and the boss-approved discounts due to the bankruptcy of the main supplier anyways, effectively ruining sales.

Tl;dr: don't force antiquated tactics on someone who knows how to run the department he was trained in, or suffer prolonged auditory drawback damage.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/EverybodyWangChung52 on 2025-05-28 19:42:52+00:00.

Teacher here in inner city . Found myself coming in at 7::12-7:15 for a week or two, supposed to be there for 7:10. My Daughter’s daycare is getting construction done so had to park across street and drop her off. Got reprimanded and a mark on my file for not working during contractual hours; “you’re paid for working 7:10 to 2:22.” Fine.

Once school is out at 2:02 I usually open up the weightroom and let athletes workout, give some advice (I was a college athlete and lifted a lot), and I watch them until about 3:15 when their coaches get there. Kids love it, I love it, coaches love it, never asked for pay. But my contracts done at 2:22.

One day. Only one day. I posted on our webpage that I wasn’t going to be there. What happened? That same day numerous phones stolen from locker room so cops came, weightroom door broke open, kids running through halls and ran into a teacher sending her to Urgent Care. Admin calls me in asking why I wasn’t watching them. “I was told to work my contractual hours, I’m only paid until 2:22. I did this for fun, and it was unofficial.”

Next day whole district gets an email for a job posting “Afterschool Weightroom Coach.” Admin asked me to apply. Now it’s costing them money.

Edit: since some of you seem to be butthurt that this isn’t real and “how could they post a position so quickly” here’s my response to a comment below;

It’s a long story, we actually used to have a dedicated strength and conditioning coach. He quit last year because, you might guess, was sick of dealing with my admin. They posted the position but no one wanted it and I wasn’t qualified (needed a CSCS). So I unofficially took over because kids wanted to work out which I applaud them for. The new position posted was a revised posting with lowered qualifications so I could take it

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/celtic_echo on 2025-05-28 19:24:59+00:00.

So, around 20 years ago I worked in credit control for a large international pizza company. I (both then and now) wore a pentagram on a chain around my neck. It wasn’t visible all the time, just occasionally depending on the top I was wearing. An older Karen type didn’t like me (genuinely no idea why, just seemed to dislike me on sight) and she decided that as a Christian, my “satanic” symbol pendant was offensive to her. I was pulled into a meeting with management who asked me to not wear it as it was offending ‘someone’s’ religious ideals. I asked if the wearing of other religious symbols were similarly offensive and was told nobody had made complaints about anything other than my pentagram. I explained that as a practising Pagan, the pentagram is as much a symbol of my religious beliefs as a cross would be to a Christian. I explained the difference between the pentagram and the hexagram, but was asked to not to bring my religion into the office. I said ok and left the meeting to be met with smug Karen saying “this is an office, not a fashion show, keep it for home!”. I said ok and went back to work, knowing my moment would come. 3 days later, she wore a silver cross necklace to work. I promptly went to our manager and explained that as I’m not a Christian, I find her outward expression of her faith offensive. I said that it’s a workspace, not a church and why should every non Christian be subjected to her jewellery.

Obviously, I’m not remotely bothered by others wearing crosses, rosary’s, turbans etc. What other people wear is none of my business, but if I can’t wear a pentagram, why is her cross ok? Suffice to say, the “no religious symbol” rule she wanted only 3 days beforehand wasn’t to include crosses. After a few meetings with HR, I was told that my pentagram was ok after all and Karen was told to back off!! I only wish I were petty enough to wear an enormous pentagram every day I continued to work there.

Edit to add more context/answer questions

UK based but international chain that has been mentioned in comments.

Credit control needed as company had a lot of franchise stores that were only allowed to buy supplies from head office where I was based.

I left the company before she did, so not sure how much more bother she caused others, wouldn’t surprise me to know that she kept creating baseless and nonsensical issues for other people though!!

Pentagram was worn with one point up, not two.

HR were not involved to my knowledge, just direct managers.

I am AWESOME at dinner parties - thanks for asking, random commenter!!

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Kelypsov on 2025-05-27 22:54:02+00:00.

Reading this story reminded me of something that happened back in my retail days. Working in a UK retailer of a 300+ chain, head office had this idea of putting up plans for various sizes of stores detailing the exact location of every item in each section of the store, so that, basically, every store would be as identical as possible, and these plans would be checked and possibly updated every week. We had a 'tech department' which was basically tablets, bluetooth speakers, headphones, earphones, sometimes cheap laptops and the occasional random 'techy' items that head office had decided to source from somewhere. The problem was that the stuff we actually got delivered for the tech department almost never matched what was on the head office plans, and was often not even close. We had no clue why this was, and the store manager pointed this out to his boss and various people at head office, but nothing changed. As such, our standard procedure was to look at the plans for the tech department, then pretty much forget they existed and fill the department by deciding what would go where ourselves.

Head office got wind of some stores not sticking to the plans, usually because of selling out of something and either spreading stuff out or putting something else in there. Down came the commandment from on high (via email), 'All stores are to merchandise according to plan and cannot deviate under any circumstances. If something sells out, leave that plot empty until the next restock of that product.' The store manager sent a query up the chain, double-checking this, asking if 'any circumstances' really meant 'any circumstances', including ones that would have a large negative effect on sales, like the issues he'd already highlighted. He got told 'any circumstances' meant just that.

So, we did exactly what we were told. We stripped the tech department of everything that wasn't on the plans, and put everything that was where it was supposed to go. This meant about two-thirds of the department was empty. We also piled up everything that we had that was not on the plans in our stockroom. Then we waited.

By the following week, there were a good few emails from people up the chain, asking why our tech sales had plummeted. The manager's response was to simply email back two pictures, and explain what they were. Picture number 1 was the tech department, 'merchandised' according to plan. Picture number 2 was the pile of stuff sitting in our stockroom, not out to sell, because it wasn't on the plan. The week after, we were told to revert to doing things as we had been.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/BrowncoatGoat on 2025-05-27 20:19:36+00:00.

A family member told me this story... He was in college back in the 70s and had a professor who was rude, condescending, and overall unpleasant to deal with. My family member typically called the professor using the title "Professor SoAndSo." One day, this Professor pulled my family member aside and said, "You need to call me 'Doctor SoAndSo.' I have my PhD and have earned my title." My family member said, "No problem. I can do that... a long as you call me 'Master FamilyMember.' I have a masters degree and have earned my title, too." Never heard another word about it from "Professor SoAndSo." :)

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/HobartMagellan on 2025-05-27 19:40:44+00:00.

One part of my job is answering customer questions about Cybersecurity, and lately we are getting a ton of these from 3rd parties on behalf of our customers. Many of these third party systems do not allow for “N/A” answers even when it really is not applicable.

I recently completed a batch of them with a ton of “N/A” answers, however for each “N/A” answer I was required to upload evidence of why it is “N/A” and only .zip files were accepted as evidence. I was also instructed to upload each Zip file securely, whatever that means.

I created a text document that simply says N/A, saved it, zipped it, and password protected the Zip file. I put the password in the comment section for each question. I really hope the reviewer likes downloading about 200 zip files and opening them to confirm that each answer is indeed, Not Applicable.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Adventurous_Tap1700 on 2025-05-27 15:37:45+00:00.

Worked as a supervisor for a blood bank many years ago. We would travel to set up local blood drives in various towns/locations. Went to a community center about an hour away and found out their HVAC system was broken. It was supposed to be a hot day, somewhere in the mid 90's.

FDA regulates the blood donation/collection industry, and they have strict rules in place. One of them is that the temperature in the collection area at a blood drive cannot exceed a certain amount. This is to prevent bacteria growth in the blood collection process, and to prevent donors from having a bad reaction during/after donation (fainting, vomiting etc.). I called our manager (Jess) and said "hey, there's no AC in this building and it's already getting close to the cutoff temp. I think we should cancel and reschedule."

ABSOLTELY NOT. Jess thinks we're just trying to get a day off work. Like we didn't already load all the equipment up and drive out here to waste our time, but whatever. She gets in her car and drives out to the site. She then takes the QC thermometer, which was already out of range by the time she got there, and places it on a window where a fan was blowing. After a minute or so, the temp drops just below the threshold. "It's fine, set up the rest of the site and continue with the blood drive."

"Well, the temp needs to be taken in the collection area, not on the other side of the building by a window."

"The temp is fine; you all need to stay here and do your job."

She gets in her car and leaves.

Ok, let's do the blood drive then. She's the boss!

After each unit of blood collected, I quarantine the units and fill out the proper paperwork per SOP guidelines. We get back to the blood bank that evening and I hand off the coolers of quarantined blood to the lab. They ask me if I really quarantined an entire blood drive and I say "yep." So, they document and incinerate each unit of blood. A 10-hour workday with travel expenses, medical equipment, staff, etc. all thrown out the window. Not to mention wasting the time of all the people that donated.

The next day, the site director calls me into her office, I assume to chew my ass. She was actually confused and wondered if something happened at the blood drive that caused every unit to be quarantined. I told her the reason, and about Jess. Not sure how the conversation went afterwards but unfortunately, she was able to keep her job for a few weeks before being fired.

Don't make a set of rules if you don't expect people to follow them.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/jemull on 2025-05-27 13:09:13+00:00.

I worked in the engineering department of a smaller manufacturing company (around 70-80 employees). My responsibility among other things was to handle any design changes; edit part and assembly drawings, bills of materials, etc. Previously this was all handled by putting together a packet of actual paper documents that had to be shuffled from engineering to manufacturing, sometimes ping ponging back and forth if we were doing something complicated that required input from various people within those departments.

Eventually the company started to implement a software-driven procedure that was supposed to eliminate the stacks of paper that would sometimes get lost on someone's desk. The problem was that our bare bones staff didn't really have time to learn all of the ins and outs of the software, and refine the process to be truly efficient. Basically it was left so that if an item was entered into an engineering change order, it was locked down so that no one could build one, but also a customer couldn't even order one, or any machine that this item happened to be a component of until the change process was completed. Sometimes this could take weeks. I tried explaining several times that if we ever had to work on some item that is used in several of our products, this would bring everything to a screeching halt. My manager at the time understood this but could never get all of the people who needed to work on the software procedure to sit down and finalize everything.

One day I was tasked with changing the design of a hardware component that was used in EVERY machine we built. I told my manager that as soon as I started the process, no one in sales would be able to enter an order for any customers until the process would be completed. He shrugged and said "do it", knowing that I was right. Within 30 minutes of getting started, a salesman came to my desk asking why he couldn't enter an order. I explained what was happening. He left, and soon after the VP of the company was at my desk asking what needed to be done. So I told him he needed to corral everyone needed to hash out how the software was supposed to work properly instead of the half-assed "just lock everything down" deal they left off with. He immediately called in whoever was on that list. It took a few days as I recall, and the component in question was expedited to be approved within the week.

To this day I use this story in interviews whenever I'm asked one of those questions, like "Give me an instance where you had to solve a major problem in the workplace".

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/brusselsstoemp on 2025-05-27 12:19:42+00:00.

This might not be the biggest story in this sub but I still reminisce fondly of it.

So a couple of years ago I took over a restaurant in the centre of the capital city of our country with a couple of friends. We are 3 associates and one chef cook. This restaurant was mainly a tourist trap for the past decennia and was also known to cater to big groups from either companies (business dinners) and tourist agencies where they would just serve some decent slob in an historical setting for a fixed menu price.

Our concept was to bring this establishment back to the locals, the neighbourhood and lovers of traditional food and drinks. So we tried a soft opening and limit ourselves to 30 customers per evening but the previous owner hadn't even communicated towards his customers that the restaurant would be taken over nor had he closed the online reservation system (to which we didn't have any access) so we got constantly flooded with requests for big groups (between 20 to even 50 persons) and here our story begins.

As we just started we tried to please most people and cater to what was possible. One day I got a phonecall off some white collar already quite condescending on the telephone as I probably am just a lowly server on the phone, with a request to come with over 20 persons in two days time. I told him politely over the phone that I couldn't make the decision to take this reservation on my own but that he could send us an email with the request and we'd talk it over with the chef cook and my associates to see if we could cater them. He didn't like this one bit and told me he couldn't wait that long for an answer. I immediately assumed he probably forgot to make a reservation for such a big group on time and that he failed his responsibility but now tries to push it off on me. Like I always say "Sounds like a you problem, not a me problem" but instead I ensured him he would get an answer on his email on the day itself.

"No, this is not acceptable, I need an answer RIGHT NOW!"

My patience was running out with this unrespectful fat neck so I politely answered:

"So to my understanding you need an answer immediately?"

-"Yes!" (With a clear sound of superiority and thinking he had won)

"Okay sir, if you need an answer immediately it will be very simple. That answer will be no."

Sounds of crickets for a couple of seconds

-"So to what email address can I send the request?"

We got his request by email and he got an answer within 2 minutes.

"We're sorry but we can't accept your request to cater your group. Kind regards, name restaurant"

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Purple-Tadpole6465 on 2025-05-27 11:40:21+00:00.

Was working for a place back in the 90's, I worked my own shift and picked up plenty of others too, and whether people liked me or not, acknowledged I was a hard worker. Compared to many who called off all the time, I rarely did. But, I caught a bug and had horrible nausea/vomiting/diarrhea, and nothing was staying down. There was no way I could work like that.

Night Supervisor said you have to come in, no exceptions. Tried to tell him I'm losing it from both ends every 5 minutes, he didn't care. Fine.

Somehow didn't sh*t my pants driving in the 2 miles, but did vomit out the side door at least once. Walked through the building, looked ashen as hell, horrible stomach cramps, and went to his office. He made me sit there for 15 minutes till he was ready to address me. By then, stomach rumbling, sweat on the brow, I turned a vomited all over the place. Watery vomit with whatever color Gatorade and chunks of yogurt came up. And a little leakage on the back end too. It wasn't subtle. It was a lot.

He just looked at me, looking a little peaked then too, and said 'you made your point, you can go.' I stumbled home and pretty much spent the next day or so in the bathroom. I do remember my neighbor bringing me some baby wipes at some point which I greatly appreciated.

But no points, I came into work like I was told, and they sent me home. I was willing to stay. :>

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/mdlapla on 2025-05-27 09:39:19+00:00.

So, when I was around 20 yo, I started playing basketball in a gym with some friends.

I wasn't very good at it, shot was extremely unreliable and I've got absolutely no left hand dribble, just like Jaylen Brown.

But it was a nice way to do some cardio and have a laugh. Since I'm on the shorter side, I played point guard and tried to focus mostly on being a pest on defense and do the right pass.

Don't picture YMCA extremely competitive games also, most of the guys out there were about having fun, do some work and improve a little bit.

One day, new guy comes to the gym and asks to play. Short, stocky, bald, in his 30s, extremely serious but with some aura of superiority to himself, probably bank manager or something like that. He has a botched knee and wears a kneepad (important detail for later). Let's call him Baldy.

He also plays point guard so we match up a lot. Baldy plays better than the rest of us because he's intense.

He thinks that he must win each game, shouts, complains, calls fouls that have nothing to do with the game, rarely passes the ball and, generally, makes the game less fun for everyone else.

One particular day, he's being extra annoying and, on a fast break, I try to swipe the ball out of his hands when he starts the layup movement but end up fouling him pretty clearly. He calls foul, I acknowledge, 2 free throws, OK.

Two plays later, same thing, I try to swipe when he gathers, mostly ball, he calls foul. I argue, he gets angry and starts to shout, I say "nevermind, shoot your damn free throws" and we get on with the game.

A couple plays later, again, fast break, I try to swipe on gather (yeah, I never learn), clear foul. He gets up really angrily and walks to my face and says:

Baldy: "If you're gonna foul me every single time, let me know, so next time you're standing below the basket, I will jump knee first into your head and we'll settle this for sure."

Me: "OK, I'll be waiting."

Baldy is fuming, he gets the ball on a fast break (lot of turnovers on my team, yeah) and starts running. I was a little behind on the play so I have a solid 2-3 seconds on my painted area before he arrives, I know that he's not going to even try the layup, he's coming straight at me, so I get pretty much under my basket and... I wait.

And he delivers. He jumps knee with kneepad high into my face, ball in hand, not even trying to score.

At the last moment, I slide to the side, so Baldy passes flying right by me and crashes into the basket support knee first.

Baldy tries to get up but he has hurt the knee and is limping badly, out for the game for sure.

So I walk to him and say "hey, you told me that we need to settle this for sure, I did just that, we're playing for fun here, go take a shower."

I guess that he took it better than expected, everybody was ready for a brawl, but he just left.

He never came back to play again. Nobody liked the guy anyway.

TLDR: Basketball bully asks to settle a heated encounter by shoving his knee up my face, ends up crashing against the basket support and the matter is settled, just not how he intented it to be.