Guys like this get girlfriends and yet I’m still single.
this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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I know. Straight girls cannot have standards. Or need to fetishize awful shit. Or die alone.
Edit: to be clear, this is because men are fucking horrible. Straight girls are tragic figures here. I hope someday we find a cure for heterosexuality, for their sake, and the incels.
I…what?
A cure for hetero. Imagine if you could casually hook up with any of your similarly cute friends. And also intuitively understamd the plot of anything made by hideo kojima.
Dude, heterosexuality isn’t some kind of disease that needs to be cured. I would take intuitive understanding of Kojima’s plots, though.
It wouldn't be some kind of disease if men didn't generally suck so badly. Instead we need to invent the bisexuality gas.
Every time I see this pop up, I'm reminded of this chair I saw once at my old place of employment.
spoiler
Nooooooo
Still baffles me how many people are convinced that you can 'wipe properly/thoroughly/enough'. It's exactly for that reason that I avoid sitting down in public transportation. Anyone who either possesses the instinct of not wanting to smell like shit and/or has had the 'privilege' of cleaning someone else's butt (say, a small child or an adult in need of special care) knows that the words 'wiping' and 'hygiene' can only be used in the same phrase if there's also the words 'wet' and/or 'wash' and/or 'soap' in it. Otherwise...of course your f****g chair stinks.
Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.
A bidet (european style) is best.
no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again
Bidet crew checking in.
Mines got hot water. I don't mean that it's got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it's got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower.. dryer? Butt hair dryer? It's nice, especially in the winter.
Clean your butts, people
A cold Bidet booty blast in the morning will wake you up better than a cup of coffee.
So you know that ice cold water sprayed into your ass can give you brain freeze, right?
I've got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that's the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn't so bad. It can even numb things up if you've been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.
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I use a portable bidet. It is a rubber squeeze bottle. I use it to wash my asshole and a little toilet paper to dry.
The thing paid for itself many times over in toilet paper saved.
I like the idea of a bidet anywhere I go, as I feel like a literal disgusting caveman when I can't use one.
But I feel like a portable one used in a public restroom would make me want to deep clean it every time I use it, and you kind of can't in public. Also what's it like to sneak it into a restroom discretely?
It is literally a small bottle with a folding spigot thingie. I do clean mine with soap and water every once in a while, but it is kinda hard to get dirty.
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eating shitty food and farting all the time and not wiping your ass properly are probably the culprits so yea better hygiene
But... How the fuck is it getting on the chair? Sitting there naked and grinding it in!?
The part not seen here is that the guy hadn't showered for over a week "because CSGO2 just came out".
If it's fabric then the smell will permeate into it and stay there. Certain things like vinegar and baking soda might get rid of or lessen smells though.
Get the cheapest vodka and a spray bottle, works great on all upholstery smells
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That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.
People should not rip on the guy unless he is one of those “it’s gay to wipe my ass” morons. I have no idea how many, but some amount of people have issues with things like this; I know I did when I was younger. Slamming people should not be the first choice.
I agree with you, especially since he did ask for help. I have a feeling he was aware of what the issue was but was in denial about it. But, if someone were to ask me if I could sum up Reddit in a thread, that would be a contender if not the top choice as an example of what to expect. That or "what is potato"
how the fuck a chair smells like poop?! Is he siting there without pants? Did he poop his pants in thr chair?!
5 bucks says he doesnt wipe his ass after shitting, or wash his ass in the shower, so has a perpetual skidmark, possibly even full blown melted toblerone.
I hate the phrase, "full blown melted toblerone". Thanks for sharing 🤣
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Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?
Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman's sauna and changing room haven't.
Might just be a weird coincidence, but it's been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I've been really bothered by it
Maybe it's just terrible plumbing, that pushes shit below where those showers are.
We had an issue at work where flushing in the men's would cause the shit to pop up in the ladies toilet. There was a fair few arguments among the women over who was leaving floaters.
That's horrible but kinda hilarious too. Wondering how the hell they tracked that one down.
"Well this one had bits of corn and bean in it but only Bob had that today for lunch and I'm positive I saw him bolting for the men's room, so mayyybe..."
There are an awful lot of men that are so insecure and terrified of being gay/are so homophobic that they think touching their own ass to wipe/wash it makes them gay.. So they don't wipe/wash their ass at all.
And thats why they, the things they touch, and the areas they congregate, always smell like shit.
It smells like shit, because it IS shit.
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No. If I went to the showers and they smelled like poop I would leave that gym.
yep, if showers smell like shit, its cause theres shit somewhere.
No they don't. At least mine doesn't. Probably because they clean their toilets and showers.
Find a new gym. If they're not cleaning the shower, what else don't they clean?
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One possibility: Guys will keep the same crack-sweaty shorts in their locker and use them over and over without washing them. It doesn't take too many doing that for the aura take over the locker room. Some guys really have no sense of personal hygiene.
If it's specifically the showers, then the staff are not cleaning things up properly.
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This is actually a sad story, where the existence of this clip almost pushed the teen to suicide due to the both online and real life bullying and death threats he received. Last time I caught up they were feeling better.
TBH I don't know what that smell is but if it's related to sweat and ass fluid then cleaning should be fairly simple:
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Start with a 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on its side and soak then compress / scrub, this step should ensure no bacteria remains and that it dries very quickly for the next steps. You don't have to rinse alcohol, it evaporates quickly.
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Next we're going to try to counteract gastric and/or uric acids, which is to say hydrochloric acid, by scrubbing with washing soda. If you don't have access to washing soda then you can either use baking soda directly or turn the baking soda into washing soda by dehydrating it in the oven. Scrub with and rinse out the soda with water.
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Final step, to counter any other contaminants, rinse with some amount of acidic cleaner such as vinegar. This will also help remove any soda from the previous step. Rinse out all of the vinegar with water, it does not evaporate.
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Dry in a very warm place with lots of airflow.
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Wash your ass with soap.
I suggest a small alteration:
Start with 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on ~~its side and soak then compress / scrub...~~ fire.
Buy a new chair.
Wash your ass with soap.
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I'l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP's response to the GF's complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.
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