this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 99 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That's one way to learn lock picking I guess

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 53 points 1 month ago

It is imperative that the cylinder not be damaged

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 47 points 1 month ago (2 children)

...and what i have for you today, is...

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago

"Let's do that again to make sure that it wasn't a fluke..."

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world 8 points 1 month ago

"This is the lock picking lawyer, and today we're going to Free Willie!"

[–] UnculturedSwine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 83 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He probably like:

  • New Fetish Unlocked
  • New Trauma Unlocked
[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 30 points 1 month ago

"My body is a MACHINE that turns TRAUMA into SEXUAL FETISHES!"

[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 77 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

My brain is fried. How sarcastic is this ?

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I am not sure this is sarcastic. I would not be surprised if this was a real product, used to abuse a child in the US. Americans are that kind of crazy.

[–] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 73 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean it's a real product.... But usually it's a different kind of mommy. Or daddy, I don't judge. I mean unless you're the actual parent, in which case I judge harshly.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Indeed. At least, the CPS should have a talk with that woman.

[–] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

The product is real, is a chastity lock and is a sex stuff, usually by dommes on her submissive partners.

And about the veracity of the review, I don’t know, I hope it is fake, but I remember reading many years ago a case were a woman was charged with child abuse for putting anal plugs on her son “to avoid the devil entering the child’s body through the anus”.

[–] Sergio@slrpnk.net 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can tell the review is fake bc they didn't capitalize the words "The Lord".

[–] No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 month ago

Also

[Review] by james schreiber

but also

...since his father left me...

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not everyone in a cage has a domme

[–] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I didn’t said “everyone”.

[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

Kind of Karen actually.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago

I guess TikTok as the watermark says

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

If only there was a horrible watermark that dances around to always overlap with the subject.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

This. The gif is the entire video.

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Probably? While it's weird and gross enough to current sensibilities to be sarcasm, these devices were absolutely used to prevent masturbation for several decades in the US so...who the fuck knows...?

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

these devices were absolutely used to prevent masturbation for several decades in the U

...what? I thought it's a fetish thing exclusively.

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago

Nope! Medical knowledge was very anti-masturbation for a long time. Devices like this, genital mutilation, and corn flakes (no, really) were all popularized in the US by Dr. Kellogg to prevent masturbation.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

This particular thing I dunno but we did some horrific shit and allowed other shit even if it wasn't super common.

[–] entwine413@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

It's a joke review

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 55 points 1 month ago (2 children)

10 years ago, we need an update on how fucked up he is.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago (2 children)

He works for the Trump administration now.

[–] Hotzilla@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Yeah, he is one of the doge kids

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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world 2 points 1 month ago

He's that 22 year old counter-terrorism czar.

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[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] noride@lemm.ee 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bet it barely even slows him down.

[–] passepartout@feddit.org 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Might as well give him a fetish over time.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Exactly! And what a great kink to have!

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 21 points 1 month ago

That poor kid. I hope this is fictional and was written for the lulz.

[–] Townlately@feddit.nl 20 points 1 month ago

Health and beauty

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 17 points 1 month ago

Date 2015. I hope you are free now. (Also fake)

[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Lmao,you had me in the first 90%

[–] misunderstooddemon@reddthat.com 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you want a sissy femboy bottom, because that's how you get one.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Wait til you read that second-last sentence about taking it off at seminary

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

People post this kind of stuff in the reviews for every kinky item on Amazon, I've never understood the compulsion to share your fic in that medium but I guess some folks gotta write when the inspiration hits 'em...

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago
[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

8 year is more than enough, he can cut the cage any time lol.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Or pick the lock. Super easy.

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Ewwwwwwwewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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