Ask Lemmy

If they served the best pizza in town, I would join your flight. But all they have to offer is women who want to talk with other women. If you are not a woman, I don't see what you think you would contribute.

I think it's reasonable that some communities will want to cater to a specific topic / group of people. If you want to discuss a similar topic, there's nothing stopping you from posting about it in another community or making your own community/instance.

If someone doesn't want to engage with you, it's silly to try and force them to engage with you.

I subscribe to c/womensstuff and I've seen the messages to men who post there accidentally. They go like this: "thanks for your comment, but unfortunately this community has a rule that only women are permitted to comment - hope you understand 🧡"

How is this "somewhat abusive"?

OP, you've done a fantastic job demonstrating exactly why some people might want spaces where they don't have to deal with the likes of you.

If people want a respectful space to discuss among themselves I don't see any good reason to force myself into the conversation. Not every space on the internet (or real life) needs to be a stage for the free marketplace of ideas, especially when you're talking about already marginalised communities who are easily disenfranchised by many of the kinds of people attracted to that style of space.

Personally, looking at the interaction between yourself and the mod, it reads to me like you was the one who was sarcastic and rude.

🙄🙄🙄

its their community, they can run it how they please, if it rubs you the wrong way you can feel free to make a competing space instead of simply complaining about it, but i think most will find its harder to moderate than they think, so i say having a hard stance on moderation to ensure quality for a minority is perfectly acceptable imo.

Imagine you have a chess club.

Every five minutes, someone drops by to sit down at your match, but their drink on the chessboard and starts a friendly and helpful conversation about how you should play lacrosse instead because it is healthier.

You have some patience to inform them that of course exercise is healthy but you also enjoy chess games and it is hard to play while conversing with a stranger no offense okay? When you tell the 16th person to let you play chess in peace that day you are tiny bit harsh so they complain loudly that you all are extremely rude and excluding.

At some point you lock the door.

You are the 7452nd person to come in their door here, okay?

I think it's nigh impossible to come up with strict rules about these things.

I also think it's fine that women have spaces that are just for them.

I think it's fine. I actually enjoy reading it for the insight.

The internet is very "male" by default. I can accept that women want to, and do, get their own clubs. Why can't you?

Because marginalized people need safe spaces without fear of hate or judgement.

c/womensstuff is punching up, you’re punching down

Dude. The Internet is a tough place for women. Give us one community to hang out together.

i am fine with it and think it is neat

You seem like a bit of a dunce but thanks for helping me find a new community!

Feel free to make a positive men's space on Lemmy explicitly banning hate speech if you'd really like to support and uplift other men :)

I'm fine with it, as a universal rule people shouldn't be forced to associate with someone if they don't want to.

Let me try to phrase my opinion:

It's unfortunate that gender-exclusive communities exist, but it's a consequence of deeper societal issues.

Forcing the issue on social networks like Lemmy will actually make it worse, because those groups will feel in danger and want to separate even further.

Being able to access the community in read-only mode is a very good thing, because you'll be able to gain insight into why they feel the need for a separate space. Read, learn and understand, even if you disagree.

The legitimacy of exclusive spaces aside, how did they know you were not a woman?

Can you give a real life example of a community banning folks only for these identifiers and not their behavior?

there are literally so many other communities, why would you wanna go to the only one that doesn't want you there, if not for trolling?

You’re probably one of those “black people are just as racist as white people” clowns.