this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
172 points (98.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27240 readers
2433 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Araithya@lemmy.world 67 points 6 days ago (1 children)

“If you love something set it free, if it comes back it’s meant to be.” Nearly cost me the best relationship of my life because I was a dumb, impressionable kid that believed in wise sounding words. If you love something, hold on to it. Work for it. Don’t let it go just to “see if it comes back”.

Same could probably be said for just about any seemingly wise sounding sayings.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I think it's more about control than sending what you love away.

"Set it free" means let your love interest choose to stay or leave on their own, don't try to keep them caged.

Depending on what you mean, it's possible that your love you regret letting go of wouldn't have lasted even if you had held it and fought.

Though if you mean you took that saying and thought it meant you needed to push your love away to see if they returned, then yeah, that's not a great strategy.

[–] Araithya@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Yeah, the latter is how it was explained to me. Like, literally break up with the person you love to see if they’ll fight for you to take them back. Or push them away and wait a few years to see if they magically reenter your life or something. Crazy, I think some people believe they live in a hallmark movie

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Ah fuck, that's a rough lesson to learn the hard way. Like so obvious in hindsight, but if you needed to learn it, you needed to learn it before you could see that.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 6 days ago

I installed a gravitic emitter in my belt that makes it feel like she has to walk uphill to approach me. Let’s see just how much she loves me, and if it’s statistically significant in its difference between how much she loves approaching the cat.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lightor@lemmy.world 60 points 6 days ago

My parents separated when I was really young, roughly 5 yrs old. As I grew up and had visitation with my dad he always drilled into me "women just want a man who can provide for them, in the end they all just want money." Being young and obviously not knowing how crazy my dad was yet, I believed him for a long time.

Turns out when you treat people like they just want you for your money, that's the only kind of people who will put up with you. Kinda self fulfilling. Found a nice lady now, happily married and caring about each other, not just money.

[–] nycki@lemmy.world 36 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Don't believe anything you read on Wikipedia.

[–] portuga@lemmy.world 37 points 6 days ago (2 children)

That infuriates me. “Oh but anyone can edit”. Yes, but see for how many seconds your stupid edit will last. It’s the single most rich and accurate encyclopedia humanity has seen, ffs.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Teachers should be using Wikipedia as an opportunity to teach skepticism and following sources. I wouldn't allow Wikipedia to be used as a cited source, but as a starting point for finding other sources on a topic.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Does anyone still say not to trust Wikipedia? They did so in the beginning and it certainly didn’t have to turn out trustworthy so that was good advice for a few years.

Now we see it’s the most trustworthy encyclopedia, and my kids’ teachers qualify it as “an encyclopedia is not an original source “, which is correct and a valuable distinction. They recommend it as a starting point but don’t allow citing it, as is correct.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 29 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

"When you first move into a house dont make any improvements for at least 6 months."

I now see that its Terrible advice.

[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 6 days ago

Haha, no.

When you first move in you see all the flaws that the previous owners got used to living with. Fix them while you're still motivated to.

[–] Subtracty@lemmy.world 23 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Don't make any improvements is a crazy proposition. But I agree with living in the place 6 months before doing anything drastic unless it is obvious. I live in a very old house. It took us a while to see the reasoning behind some of the features in our house. We were tempted to scrap anything that wasn't typical in new constructions, but that would have been a waste of money.

I was happy saving up for a few months and observing the house to see where my money was best spent.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I would argue that, rather than 6 months, you should really wait until after you've spent a winter in it. Lots of things that might seem odd during warmer months suddenly make sense when everything is cold, icy, and freezing.

[–] Subtracty@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Exactly this! We did not understand how our house operated as a system until we experienced it in both the freezing cold and humid summer. Most modern homes were designed to circulate air efficiently, but with a 250 year old home, things work differently.

For example, the wood burning stove was put in that place for a reason, and although it might complicate the couch/tv placement, the benefits of a properly placed heat source outweigh the feng shui of the room.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Konstant@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Why is it not good advice?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's meant to stop you from spending $30k on a kitchen renovation because you hate the way the cabinet doors open, not to fix health and safety issues.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 6 days ago

I sold cabinets for a while, and at the time I lived in a little studio apartment, basically paycheck to paycheck.

People would drop $10-50k to have slightly nicer cabinets. It seemed so trivial to me.

But then again, I would spend $20 on pizza or whatever sometimes so I didn’t have to cook. I’m sure to someone starving, that would seem like a ridiculous use of resources.

It’s a strange feeling interacting regularly with people more wealthy than myself.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Very many home improvement tasks cause a bit of mess and having to move furniture around. If you don't do them initially, it's way harder to motivate yourself to do it when you're fully moved in. Flooring/skirting/painting are the typical things you'll want to do up front.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] mlg@lemmy.world 27 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You can always find it cheaper on Ebay.

This is actually somewhat true again now that Amazon has gone full monopoly abuse, but for a while Ebay was nothing but 1:1 with Amazon sellers and a serious lack of auctions.

Although you can go much lower with Ali Express and Temu, albeit with risk invovled.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Just as casual conversation, what items or categories of goods do you usually deal with? Just wondering, as I myself have noticed "the boat" rocking back and forth between different online buying options for years. I live a pretty minimalist life now (used to be heavy tech) so I don't buy much anymore and am pretty out of the loop now.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

you wont be alone everyone finds a lifelong partner.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

Don't talk to strangers on the internet

[–] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Circa 2012 my boomer parents had me job hunting in person AND hand-writing the cover letters. It got me two jobs so maybe it wasn't the worst advice, but i would spend every day driving around and penning half a dozen letters for employers that, a lot of the time, weren't even hiring.

Anyway, that (12 years ago) was the last job hunt i've ever done, it's been nothing but networking and freelancing ever since

load more comments
view more: next ›