this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] solidgrue@lemmy.world 236 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Federal police are still investigating whether the aircraft was involved in drug trafficking

Um....

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 118 points 1 month ago

finally an article that's oniony beyond the headline

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 88 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Maybe it was just for personal use

[–] Kraiden@piefed.social 46 points 1 month ago

Musk's personal stash

[–] zbyte64@awful.systems 24 points 1 month ago
  • Kash Patel on Epstein trafficking girls
[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Looks like a whole weeks supply. He’ll be devastated

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[–] Zier@fedia.io 17 points 1 month ago

It was headed to a Coca-Cola factory. They are adding it back along with real cane sugar.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (4 children)
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[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 108 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well there goes Elon's Doordash. Definitely not getting that $10 tip now.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 79 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is ridiculous.

Elon never tips.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Not entirely true, he'll tip if you carry his baby to term. Sometimes he'll even tip in horses.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Phew, at least the SpaceX branded ketamine got through.

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[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago

Guess Elon's weekly shipment will be late. Probably scrambling to replace it off the streets like some kind of nose-mounted vacuum cleaner.

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago

oh no, Elon's weekly supply!!

[–] Jojowski@sopuli.xyz 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wow! I wonder what will happen to those 178kgs of cocaine they found!

[–] ne0phyte@feddit.org 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It wouldn't even surprise me if some of the 150kg of cocaine went missing.

[–] frittoBee@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Someone really ought to take care of the 120 kg of cocaine.

[–] espentan@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

80 kilos of cocaine is quite a lot, it really should be disposed of safely.

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

good thing 40 kilos is exactly what fits in the evidence room

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Now, to find out who was going to receive those 20kg of cocaine

[–] admin@lemmy.today 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

All got burned with the plane on crashsite

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[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I wonder if it's a joke label or not

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Some drug traffickers use existing brands to "market" themselves.

Here's some Afghan heroin seized and destroyed by the international coalition on the Arabian Sea in 2021:

[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Id ride in a bently, I wouldnt ride in a spacex or tesler

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[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Any other company and I'd probably go yeah, the dealers did that, but I wholeheartedly believe Tesla has a cocaine manufacturing department.

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[–] 69420@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I only get that Johnny Chimpo branded stuff. It's Afghanistanimation!

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[–] circuscritic@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago

It's real. I used to buy Nike brand ecstasy all the time.

If you have a Nike store in your town, I recommend you go in and ask for the triple stacks.

[–] Blackdoomax@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago

How do they know it's a fake spaceX packaging? Seems legit to me.

[–] hogmomma@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That’s this cursed timeline’s equivalent of Mitsubishi MDMA pills

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Fuck yeah my guy! You brought back memories...

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 28 points 1 month ago (6 children)

It can be one of three scenarios IMO:

A: Elon is being particularly dumb and actually produced and distributed drugs with his logo.

B: The Trump Regime created and planted these drugs to manufacture a reason to prosecute Elon.

C: Some drug distributor is a huge fan of SpaceX, or wants to deflect investigation away from their other operations.

...the world being the way it is, all three seems pretty damn plausible to me. 😕

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

D: They're branding their coke the same way that MDMA pill pressers will stamp real logos on their product to market it (without permission, of course). They usually don't do this with coke, but it's not unheard of.

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[–] AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

definitely c. you ever seen shitty weed packaging thats an obvious reference to Rick and Morty, trump, etc? looks like that culture has made its way to cocaine now

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[–] SunSunFuego@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

in other news: are mitsubishi and tesla involved in global ecstasy sales?

[–] godfish@lemy.lol 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I personally have a theory that they are indeed supplying pill manufacturers with high quality presses.

Most high quality pills (not talking about contents) I have seen beeing confiscated in night clubs are branded with car or fashion brands.

So maybe they are targeting people when they have a high happy hormone output.

Like: woah that mitsubishi is making me feel soooo great and suff.

Oh god the new Tesla's are so strong.

Sounds like something marketing departments would get off on.

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[–] MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Plane full of drugs crashes. Police are still investigating if it was involved in drug trafficking... what?

[–] npcknapsack@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

I thought I was clicking through to a satire site. Da fuq is this.

[–] Friendlybirdseggs@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

MDMA pills are often branded with various logos from all sorts of companies and IPs (without permission, of course), so I imagine it was something similar to that.

a pile of "Orange Teslas" MDMA pills

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[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Musk switching away from Ketamine?

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[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

How much of the product was in the pilot's system?

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