this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2025
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[โ€“] bennieandthez@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 7 hours ago

i know at least 30 people that look exactly like that

[โ€“] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 18 points 7 hours ago

I know this girl, she used to duel with me and took all my labubus. Turns out she was a shapeshifting alien who did it because she wanted to get her child a birthday gift. I heard she had wasted all her money on slot machines ๐Ÿ˜”

[โ€“] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 60 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I know this guy. The American flag isn't fooling me. This guy is a member of the Bri*ish royal family. Trump, sir, please nuke Buckingham Palace before these radical woke leftoonies strike again!

[โ€“] MaghrebiLenin@hexbear.net 16 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

But surely the royal family would know this might happen and would flee London? Better nuke all of Britain just to be safe.

[โ€“] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 7 points 8 hours ago

Sure they won't flee Britain? Might have to nuke the entire Commonwealth.

(I'll say anything to get the US to turn on the rest of the Anglosphere, it's funny as hell!)

[โ€“] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 10 points 7 hours ago

I'd never be able to track him without seeing his big beautiful eyebrows like the Adjuster

[โ€“] Awoo@hexbear.net 67 points 11 hours ago
[โ€“] ProgAimerGirl@hexbear.net 88 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

everyone is saying 'chud' but here I am looking going:

thin tall odd limb torso ratio awkward gait eyes hidden appears near events of political significance

spoilerthat's a grey man posad

now to beat a hasty tactical retreat to badposting peppino-run

[โ€“] mudpuppy@hexbear.net 35 points 11 hours ago

to me its clearly a chud cosplay

[โ€“] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 81 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Just remember they won't ever pay out. If you think you've seen him - no ya didn't!

[โ€“] Carl@hexbear.net 42 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

I almost forgot they stiffed the McDonald's employee that dimed on Luigi. Maybe that'll come back to bite them now.

tbh I doubt that anyone who would consider narcing is zeitgeist-poisoned enough to have heard about them not getting paid.

[โ€“] rentasintorn@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 8 hours ago

Also don't share pictures of his face, if they come out

[โ€“] Homer_Simpson@hexbear.net 15 points 9 hours ago

I know this guy, used to live down the street from me

[โ€“] Quaxamilliom@hexbear.net 101 points 12 hours ago

I hope homeboy learned from Luigi and doesnt go to McDonalds

[โ€“] TheVelvetGentleman@hexbear.net 43 points 11 hours ago

Pretty sure I saw this guy at a rage against the machine concert at Foxboro stadium in 2000, when they played with the beastie boys. I hope that helps.

[โ€“] Poof@hexbear.net 172 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

I recall the last time an award was offered to rat out an assassin the money was not paid.

[โ€“] NeelixBiederman@hexbear.net 56 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

Hard to pay the undisclosed facial recognition software at the McDonald's self-order kiosk

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[โ€“] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 56 points 12 hours ago (5 children)

Hopefully that fact will dissuade people from trying

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[โ€“] Awoo@hexbear.net 37 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

If this is the dude then why isn't he carrying a rifle or a bag that would fit a rifle?

[โ€“] booty@hexbear.net 39 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

whole thing was up his butt, believe it or not. he was very skilled

Thats how they knew the shooter was woke

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[โ€“] Beaver@hexbear.net 18 points 10 hours ago (8 children)
[โ€“] MaghrebiLenin@hexbear.net 22 points 9 hours ago

biblically accurate american

Why did he insert the magazine into the Mac10 before putting it on the table?

cheating by having the mac10 and shotgun hidden on his backside where we can't see how obvious it might have been.

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[โ€“] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 28 points 10 hours ago

I know this guy. He used to show up with that same backpack, only back then it was full of candy necklaces and baby bottle pops to sell to the rave kids. Everyone just called him Chancey.

[โ€“] joaomarrom@hexbear.net 103 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] Rom@hexbear.net 92 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)
[โ€“] grandepequeno@hexbear.net 74 points 12 hours ago (4 children)

That photo of luigi also seemed like it wouldn't give him away at all, I suspect it didn't, I suspect the FBI's capacity through track someone through their phone and find out where they were is larger than we think

[โ€“] darkcalling@hexbear.net 52 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Assuming Luigi is the adjuster. They 100% used illegal NSA surveillance techniques and parallel construction to get him. The phone call never happened, the backpack and other stuff was all planted.

This, one-hundred-million percent. It's been basically the only logical arguement since the day they picked him up and started leaking all sorts of contradictory nonsense.

[โ€“] calidris@hexbear.net 47 points 11 hours ago

If they had half a brain, they wouldn't carry a phone doing something like this.

[โ€“] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 42 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

They have drones and satellites they routinely fly over large cities. Used to be they could track cars and by extention people. I would be surprised if they don't have mostly accurate maps of here any given person is at any given time.

[โ€“] darkcalling@hexbear.net 12 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

They don't need satellites. They have Automated License Plate Recognition Systems by evil companies like flock that have laughably dystopian stated goals like "creating a crime free world" by tracking every vehicle everywhere and creating a national searchable database of ping points that they passed. And they're expanding wildly, explosively year over year in the number of these they have deployed.

Even just looking at what's available in the commercial sector, the dystopian tracking tech is wild. 3D reconstruction modelling of precise movement, number of people in a room, and pathtracing precise to the foot (way better than GPS) just based on disruption to WiFi signals in a room or area alone. No phone or connected device actually on you needed.

The limitation is computational cost and the amount of time and effort needed to focus on it. But you better believe that the NSA for example can do this sort of thing with a specific target and a starting point with good conditions for it to work.

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[โ€“] OttoboyEmpire@hexbear.net 6 points 8 hours ago

please don't post my picture thx

[โ€“] BadTakesHaver@hexbear.net 64 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

definitely a Chud. why wouldn't they wear a mask

[โ€“] NeelixBiederman@hexbear.net 112 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Wearing a mask in Utah draws more scrutiny than open carrying a rifle

[โ€“] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 48 points 12 hours ago

gotta go full ICE costume

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