Too late, please advise.
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
Where else am I supposed to store them?
Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business
You're not my real dad, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
Can't have any fucking fun anymore, what's next, I'm not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?
What is the charge?! Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.
What is the charge?! ~~Eating~~ Boofing a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Get your hands off my ~~penis~~ anus!
Too fucking late Doc, I’m farting essence of fried cabbage and cat meat until Thanksgiving’s giving.
What about egg rolls?
That's okay
Frozen? Or no?
Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn't be boofing fenceposts either, but I'll wait until there's a consensus on that, I think.
You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.
Nah, it's fine. It's digestible so you'll just pass it out the other end if you lose hold of it.
About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn't find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.
The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying "Do not insert in rectum."
So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn't resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.
well shit.
First they came for the spring rolls...
Then I came for the spring rolls
Actually, they first came for anal beads, chess scandal :3
You’re saying I should make anal beads from spring rolls?
Way ahead of you.
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Literally 1984
Are egg rolls still fair game though?
Why? Why shouldn't I put a spring roll up me bum?
Funniest meme of the day.
Because it offends everyone else at the Chinese buffet.
Because it means you have to poop out your mouth.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that's ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that's still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you're worrying about whether your boyfriend's penis has a flared base and you can't find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you're in the clear.
If you're worried that this advice doesn't apply simply because you don't have a boyfriend, there's an app for that.
Shit it was at the entrance! Glad I was scrolling Lemmy with Elvis Can’t Help Falling in Love, playing in the background.
Sellouts.
MAHA says veggies are important.
I mean... I'm trying to be snarky, but I'm finding it hard ot argue that it's bad advice.
Only thing I can think of is a deep fried spring roll can be pretty sharp at the edges and can tear the delicate skin there.
Other people in the restaurant?
Me asking the delivery person to "feed" them to me?
One to many springs in my bum causes me to bounce?
What about lumpia? Asking for a friend
IT IS MY RIGHT!
Awww, puts them back in the fridge
What if I already did hypothetically what would I do if I had already done that hypothetically can someone help me hypothetically?
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Health and safety gone mad
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