this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2025
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  1. Married adults have markedly more sex than their unmarried peers, but the sex recession is also making inroads among married couples.
  2. When it comes to sexlessness (“no sex in the last year”) among young adults, the biggest change comes post-2010.
  3. Between 2010 and 2019, the average time young adults spent with friends in a given week fell by nearly 50%, from 12.8 hours to just 6.5 hours.

Source: Institute for Family Studies.

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[–] unconsequential@slrpnk.net 110 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Well, that’s a whole lot of depressing graphs. Speaking of… I wonder if antidepressant use, or just depression rates in general, might have something to do with the married couples data.

[–] Townlately@feddit.nl 98 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

When everything is super bleak, it's more difficult to get into the mood. That is my experience.

[–] LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why fuck when you can doomscroll?

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[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 25 points 2 weeks ago

or "humans can't reproduce in captivity"

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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

My girlfriend was on antidepressants for a minute and her already not very high sex drive plummeted.

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Depression, sure. Medication - when taken regularly as prescribed - helps make it easier to choose to move on from depressive thoughts (without the meds it's much harder to escape the "death spiral" of worsening thoughts & feelings), but it doesn't stop them - you still have to choose to move on from them. As such, I don't think they're contributing to a problem that'd be there regardless.

Depression over how impossible to get ahead life has become, how the power-hungry control freaks are squeezing everybody in every way possible - and then replacing them with machines, how the future of the world we live on becomes even more bleak by the day, how there's so many things demanding our attention that we have very little time left for ourselves, let alone to socialize in person, etc. Seems perfectly predictable that increasing the number of people with little to no hope left for their lives would react in such a manner.

[–] unconsequential@slrpnk.net 31 points 2 weeks ago

I didn’t mean anything negative toward antidepressants other than that lowered sex drive is often a side effect of many of the most commonly prescribed medications. And yes, there are many real reasons we see a consistent plague of depression in modern society.

I would argue though that we are in one of the most food secure times in all of history. And are actually positively positioned for meeting our energy and resource needs.

Our problem has more to do with management and greed than with actual reality of our situation as a species. If we were making better choices collectively we could reduce a tremendous amount of the harm we associate with population sizes and lifestyle. But many old systems would have to die, we have to let go of a lot of what we just assume to be ‘facts of life’ and start evaluating the intrinsic value of things differently. Meaning measuring success with a new set of rules.

But it’s very hard to even consider when most of us are just trying to get from one day to the next. We feel trapped in someone else’s fabricated cage. Hence, the depression and hopelessness that’s universally felt. But all in all, I think we’re going to make it to be honest. We have to, or we will indeed fail as a species. The cage looks small but it’s not real. That’s what I remind myself anyway.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

The medication often affects libido.

I'm not saying that to diminish everything else you're saying. Just adding a little info.

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[–] pageflight@lemmy.world 74 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

According to Source Watch, The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) is

a conservative "think tank" which, according to its website, has the expressed mission "to strengthen marriage and natural family and advancing the well-being of children through research and public education."[1] Research from IFS and its employees are frequently cited and published in both conservative outlets such as National Review [2] and more mainstream ones, like the Washington Post.[3]. "IFS is a successor to the Ridge Foundation, through which Bradley and others used to support Wilcox's National Marriage Project."[1] The Institute for Family Studies says that its "commitment is rooted in the social-science fact that children are most likely to thrive when they are raised by their own married biological parents. The underlying premise of its work is that families and communities, freedom and prosperity, and the political order itself -- both at home and abroad -- are all critically dependent upon the existence of a strong healthy, pervasive marriage culture among the citizenry."[4]

I don't entirely understand how this fits their agenda (I would expect a "married heterosexuals are having more sex" narrative), and am not surprised by the results, but also don't really trust the source.

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[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 67 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Im happily married to the love of my wife. We work opposite shifts, of 10+ hours, and we barely make ends meet. When are we supposed to do this?

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
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[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Married women are having more sex than married men? Wait, where is my wife right now?

[–] allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

I'll send her home as soon as my wife gets back from her boyfriend's house.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Maybe some of the women are married to women?

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[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 48 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Universal healthcare, the ability to afford visiting third places, and making it possible to raise a family would help with this.

[–] Sunflier@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Nah man. Let's just end abortions and lower the age of marriage.

-Republicans

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[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 48 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

So, regular sex is down, but what about weird sex?

The weird has been up for more than 4 hours and isn't going to see a doctor about it.

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

With all the sexlessness, any sex is "weird."

[–] LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 20 points 2 weeks ago

My kink is having my genitals stimulated by another person. Or stimulating theirs. I’m a freak like that.

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[–] CodingCarpenter@lemmy.ml 38 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

More married women are having sex than married men?

[–] badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hmmm, so who could be having sex with all these married women.... Oooohh.

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[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago

My guess would be what men and women call "regular sex" is very different. Even if defined by the survey, I'd still think bias applies

[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 22 points 2 weeks ago

Does the chart include same-sex couples?

If not, then yeah, that may account for some of the unmarried men statistic.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I assume that just means for whichever reasons they reported differently. Or the sample had more lesbians than gays.

Also possible that cultural stigmas curve the data a bit if the survey answerers believe the data to not be completely anonymous. Some may say yes because they want to give the perception that they are in a healthy happy relationship, and others may be saying, we have sex every once in a while, but I don't think it's actually once a week.

[–] NuraShiny@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

It's all the soldier-wives getting dicked down by cool lefties, while the soldiers are dying in false flag attacks and helicopter crashes.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 32 points 2 weeks ago

I used to have sex almost every day, but entertainment kept getting more entertaining... Sure sex is great, but have you tried deep diving into the history of typefaces? Or learning how to bind your own books from cereal boxes and thread??

I know I'm only speaking anecdotally, but I feel like sex is easier to like fall into when you have the capacity to be actually bored, and like have plenty of unstructured time.

Maybe I'm falling for the entertainment arm of the productivity gospel.

Also realise that some people don't have access to anyone to suggest sex with, so that's an additional barrier. If I lived alone, I don't think I would even bother attempting—just so much else to do!

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

it would be super surprising if this didn't corelate with cost of living

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I know this is a weak excuse from me b/c ppl in other countries aren't bothered but as a 30 y/o grown ass man, I just don't find it appropriate trying to bring women over to my parents house. I don't even think I qualify for tinder at this point tbh. lol

I didn't read the articles or look at the numbers, just wanted to respond to the comment. 👌

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[–] Sunflier@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The conservatives are really mad that Americans are having so few babies. Less sex = less babies. One of the BIG reasons people aren't having kids/sex is because of the market being so shitty to start a family. But, the neo-cons don't need to worry. I'm sure the sex will trickle down from the billionaires any second now.

[–] AHamSandwich@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Elon Musk is happy to impregnate a bunch of women 🤮

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't want to have REGULAR sex.

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[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I have major concerns with the source of this

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 week ago

Maybe it's difficult to enjoy things like sex when our very way of life is being dismantled in front of our eyes while we stand by helpless

[–] josefo@leminal.space 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So capitalism is killing sex, got it

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[–] theparadox@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

Honestly, financial and now political stress have been stifling. It's hard to get in the mood when an authoritarian christo-fascist party is in charge of the government, constantly making headlines with their movements to destroying everything me and everyone I love cares about.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 22 points 2 weeks ago

Oh cool it's not just me then.

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Damn... weekly? During the first couple of years of the relationship, sure.

Eight years later, now it's twice a month: right before and right after her period. Is that not a normal amount?

[–] Kaerkob@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Depends... Are you both happy with it?

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Her: Yes.
Me: No.

I'd prefer 1-2x per week.

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[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 20 points 1 week ago (4 children)

After reading this comment section I feel lucky for me and sad for many of you. My wife and I have been together close enough to a decade to not split hairs. We average 4 times a week. We aren't just still attracted to each other, I would say attraction has intensified between us. And we know how to get each other off and both enjoy doing it.

We work well as a team, have defined goals for the future, blah blah blah, it sounds cliche as I type it, but it's true. We like each other. That seems to be uncommon. My coworkers all complain about their spouses and SOs. They also bitch about never getting laid.

Maybe our relationship is different because we were two people who knew themselves pretty well and were up front about who we were from the beginning. Maybe we were just lucky.

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[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
  • That last graph makes no sense being joined like that

  • Also no sample sizes

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[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

I've been tired.

I'll try to do better.

[–] godlessworm@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

they’re not having regular sex. they’re having the weird kind

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[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not american, but I am 29, and I don't get who am I supposed to have sex with.

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[–] ryanvade@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

regular sex

What about freaky-deaky sex?

[–] everett@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not sure the bar graph is depicting "markedly more sex" if you consider how much easier sex should be for people who definitely have a consistent partner.

[–] Perspectivist@feddit.uk 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Not american but can relate. Sex is available - I'm just not interested in it. Never have been. My hands work just fine.

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