Ask Lemmy

He would come to me on his own. He's the goodest of good boys and loves me infinitely. My only problem is that he loves people too much. "Hey that's another human who hasn't petted me!" But he always comes back and wags his tail because he's proud that everyone loves him the way that he loves everyone.

Kika: raise the palm of my hand threateningly, and start saying things like "nojenta" (disgusting), "jaguara" (sly), "cachaceira" (drunkard), "chata" (boring) etc. Most cats will go away. Kika will however come closer and turn her butt towards me, as if saying "slap it".

Siegfrieda: start speaking in German. No, seriously. She actually identifies when I'm speaking in Portuguese or in German, and if it's the later she immediately thinks it's something with her. Good luck finding 99 cats with a bent mouth and a protruding fang, though.

I'll do the "Ku" pose from the movie Kindzaza a couple of times and the dog will come running to jump around me. For some reason, he loves it when I do that.

My cockatiel is the only one in this hypothetical flock that would scream my name, when any nearby human gets into an argument.

I honestly can't think of anything better than being in a room with 100 Boxer dogs.

At the end, the sofa and blanket would have to be huge to fit us all on it, though.

I taught my cat tricks. So it would be the one who would shake my hand for a treat. My cat also is a coward, so would check the wallflowers first.

My cat can do tricks. So I’d just make him do them and take him back home

I haven’t got any pets now, but for the last pet I had, it would’ve been easy. I mentioned in another comment on here recently that she used to attack/eat dandelions.

I could’ve held up a fluffy, white dandelion and waited to see which pup came over to chomp it.

Completely heuristic and I would never be entirely sure I have the same one; however, like others have said I'd just have 100 pets. I wish I could afford that and have enough space for that.

Oh he would find me. Classic hide and seek

With one of my dogs, I'll look for the dog that does exactly what I say when I say it. For the other, I will look for the dog that completely ignores everything I say.

I would call my cat and the one that walked up to me stopped a arms reach away would be mine.

My cat would be in a corner, or hiding under a sofa. It's feral, blind, deaf, and wary of everything and everyone. If it managed to recognise me, it would give a dismissive twitch of the tail and/or take a swipe at me.

Stand their till mine comes and jumps on me. She lives with my family most of the time so she gets very excited every time I see her.

My dog comes to click noises like a horse

If I say "it's here" she'll run towards any window to bark.

I would first try to spray all dogs with a water hose.. all who play or chill are eliminated. Then I would bring them to a lake. Mine would be the first in the water.

Each of my cats has a specific strange trait that I would look for.

So I'm in a room with 100 cats, one of which pesters me for love and affection about a thousand times a day. I could just sit down and wait for her to come over and scream like she's in immense pain as she usually does. If that didn't work I'd clap my hands and look around. The room should look something like this

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳☺️😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

because she knows me and is used to me being noisy sometimes.

I would try to walk. That would instantly make our one cat sprint to my feet to get directly under and infront of them.

For the other cat saying “soft food” would work. She’ll come screaming and expect to be served. Lord help me if I don’t have food on me though.

One has obvious visible signs from a rough past, plus she makes unique Chewbacca sounds and hops like a kangaroo/faints like a goat when excited. The other would tackle me and not leave my side.

Easy - I wouldn't. Especially since it would just be an empty room.

I do a simple tongue click twice and wait. My cats all understand what the 2 clicks means.

Vegetables that normal dogs don't like.

My cat would find me

I know his meow.

Put down their favorite box and start trying to pet cats. The one that slinks away rapidly to the box and gets bitey/swatty if you put your hands near is her :)

@Balerion She responds to her heads-up noise. She also complains when I pick her up (even after she's asked to be picked up).

i literally had a nightmare about this and it really stressed me out

I refer to my 2 dogs as "my children" all the time, to the point that when I'm calling them both in from outside, I throw open the door and shout "Children!" Or when they're being annoying, I'm like "Children, stop!"

So I would just have to shout the word "Children!" And they'd come to me.

"Wet food?"

Yes. I have a unique whistle that she would immediately respond to.

Sit down and try to eat a snack. The cat that ends up about 2 inches in front of my face purring while trying to steal my food and gnaw on my nose is mine

Just give them commands, that aren't their name. Both my cat and dog do an assortment of tricks and are very food motivated.

His soft little meows. I'd try to mimic his "Outside" button, and see which one comes running and beseeches me with the most pathetic whining. To confirm I'd pick him up and see if he makes a dramatic, offended meow.

How identical are we talking? Moles all the same place?

I wouldn't want to but I'm guessing...smell their butts?

I have a special stupid call that only my dog goes nuts for.

Do that little side-mouth click.

"chk chk" means food and they know it

edit: Cats are trainable AF with sound cues. Ever time I opened the front door I did a twee-twee-twee whistle with my teeth. It taught them that when they hear that sound, it's the opportunity to go out or come in. If I wanted to call them home I'd open the door and do the distinctive whistle, within 10 minutes they'd be hovering at the front looking to come in

I mean the one that follows me the most.