this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 90 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can you do something about the... gestures vaguely at everything?

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 120 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 84 points 1 month ago
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[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 41 points 1 month ago

Daring today, aren't we:

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is that for here or to go?

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Let’s try making Karma a real universal force

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Good one! Your wish has been granted (but in an alternate universe). After a period of turmoil, the citizens of Earth C-132 create a utopic society:

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[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 23 points 1 month ago (11 children)

Okay, let's try this.

Every single human being, gradually, develops empathy and awareness to how their choices affects themselves and others.

This is to happen over a period of a year and will not lead people to despair but to understand the poor choices they have made throughout their lives and lead them to live better lives, with no malice arbored towards others and themselves.

This effect will include the granter of this wish.

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[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Could you dissapear all the facisim thats popping up everywhere? That would be super.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The fascism is now undetectable to the vast majority but still happening behind the scenes:

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):

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[–] Apocalypteroid@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 month ago
[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

i can't eat this. where's the meat?

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[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One (1) fall of capitalism please

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You got it. Post apocalyptic scenario ends all forms of investment and monetary exchange. We go back to the barter system:

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[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Granted, but all of your farts are now noticeably audible. You can no longer fart quietly:

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[–] flying_sheep@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone's mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn't have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.

In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.

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[–] MrLLM@ani.social 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You’ve done more than enough, my child. Get yourself something nice.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 26 points 1 month ago

𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢.

I conjure myself up some tea.... it verges on the cusp of excessive lemon.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A bagel.

No. Wait.

Two bagels.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The next time that you eat at a restaurant and are entirely full, two fresh artisanal bagels are delivered to your table: they're complementary.

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There is an orange orc on the loose: I have made him invisible.

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[–] fittedsyllabi@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.

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