Ask Lemmy

At my best I was a seven, I guess, but for a while I was going out with a model who was a compfortable nine. We were walking through town and bumped into a friend of hers I hadn't met before. She said: "Oh, this is the new guy?" My girlfriend replied in the affirmative, and this other woman paused for a moment, looking me up and down, and then just asked in an incredulous tone of voice: "Why?"

[My girlfriend later explained that the other woman was bi and into her (unreciprocated), so that took the edge off it.]

I've never even dated someone, but I've walked with male friends and had someone shout out he was taking one for the team and thanking him for his service. I've also had someone say loudly that they would be embarrassed to be seen with someone like me (fat and ugly). I've had someone stop him and ask if he knew "it" was following him (We were in different sections of a store while I was approaching). I've had people say he must be rich to keep "something like me" fed. I've had friends called "pig fucker" while walking with me. I've had people, when they thought I couldn't hear, praise him for seeing "what's inside." I've had people insinuate that I must be good in bed for anyone to want me. I've been called practice. I have had someone loudly exclaim that "damn, if that's all that's left I'd just be gay."

So, not a "relationship," but friendship. Sorry if that's vending the rules a bit.

Dated someone for a couple of years in my teens. Had multiple people assume they were a virgin because "it's bad enough that you're dating them, but your standards can't be that low right?"

"I have no idea what she sees in you."

Straight to my face. By many people at different times. Including friends.

People assume I'm my wife's older brother or friend. They often ask her if she wants her check separate from mine. It drives her insane. She makes a face and snaps "No, my HUSBAND and I are on the same check."

It's been a long time but at my senior prom the photographer made a beauty and the beast comment, which was fair enough. My high school sweetheart is a dead ringer for Zooey Deschanel and I (am told) looked like a chubby Matthew Broderick.

I married way above my relative looks as well. Wife looks like a half puerto-rican Julia Roberts. I've gotten the father-daughter remark on that one before (I grayed really young, white hair by mid thirties).

My wife is gorgeous, but I look enough like Sling Blade to keep the comments at bay 😜