this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 39 comments
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[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 12 points 6 hours ago

I don't get it. What's wrong with a Java Industrial Standard Library Object Relational Database?

[–] ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 7 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Are you sure that they didn’t mean it as “Jiz Lord”?

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 35 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

This implies the existence of jizz serfs

[–] Vespair@lemm.ee 3 points 7 hours ago

You've met my ex's?

[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 101 points 22 hours ago (4 children)
[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 hours ago

I’m ready for a lot that’s new

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 73 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 15 points 21 hours ago

An absolute classic.

[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 4 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

What is this supposed to be?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 12 hours ago

"a new start"

But when it's coming from the world's first analyst/therapist (AKA "analrapist"), who can tell...

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

"A new start" but with "nu" instead od new because too few letters

[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 1 points 14 hours ago

Oh thanks. I'd have never guessed

[–] MrJukes@lemmy.today 8 points 18 hours ago

You're talking about the world's foremost analrapist.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago

Guess Sircumalot didn't fit

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I randomly got into making Uzbek food thanks to Youtube recommendations. One of their dishes is called "jiz biz", which consists of fried sheep liver, kidney, lung, heart, and intestines served over potatoes. I've never tried making it - I'm not sure whether the actual dish or the dish it sounds like to American ears would be worse.

[–] AnxiousOtter@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

That sounds delicious.

[–] winkly@lemmy.world 37 points 23 hours ago (2 children)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 96 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Benjaben@lemmy.world 17 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Still, I would've been disappointed if someone hadn't just typed it out. Probably woulda felt like I had to.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

Alternatively, they may be complaining about the typo...

[–] Metostopholes@midwest.social 18 points 23 hours ago

And yet the DMV wouldn't let me get "CUMKING" smh

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

JisLorD

Is "J" equal to "L" or "D"?

[A] J=L

[B] J=D

Algebra Class here we go again with these fucking variables.

Car must belong to a math teacher.

[–] Dalvoron@lemm.ee 16 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

Nah clearly it's a truth table

L    |    D    |    J = L V D
1    |    1    |    1
1    |    0    |    1
0    |    1    |    1
0    |    0    |    0
[–] Prethoryn@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

My name must start with a J. I can needed that boost of confidence

[–] TheLastOfHisName@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

Uuuuh...dude....?

[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 17 points 23 hours ago

It is right up there with ANUSTART.

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 16 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 15 hours ago

we need a vieweaskeriverse community

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 9 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

jeremiah?

no.. he was a bullfrog.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago
[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 7 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Jizzlord, came 3 days after getting poled? Well hung, massive woody? I am so sorry for these awful jokes.

[–] 4am@lemm.ee 8 points 22 hours ago

Nailed hard, women wept for days afterward

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago

I haven't felt this warm and fuzzy since everone was wearing those "What Would Jordan Do?" bracelets!

Thanks guys!

[–] yannic@lemmy.ca 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SmoothLiquidation@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago

That show was surprisingly good.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

Cum they told me for rum a bum bum

[–] Zier@fedia.io 3 points 21 hours ago

[Looks down the street] Everyone run, he's cumming!