Ask Lemmy

Obligatory.

All day long, I'd biddy biddy bum

If I were a wealthy man

I would buy up as many apartments as possible and lower the rent below market value, this driving other landlords to compete. Since they could not maintain a "sustainable" business model with their profit driven mindset, they would sell and I would buy. I would still seek a modest profit, which would be rolled into further acquisitions to further infect the market with sanity. It would be a McDonald's or Walmart approach to housing, positive effect by volume and low margins, but actually provide an undeniably good product.

I would also work with local businesses to offer discounts to residents of the apartments and employees of other businesses that also wish to partner, with the end goal of creating incentive to shop local and increase foot traffic, and therefore profits for those small businesses.

I would find residents who would be interested in starting a business, startup costs covered by my organization, and outcompetes with businesses who do not wish to be our partner. I would endeavor to provide free childcare and animal daycare/boarding. Ideally a pseudo private and free school system could be established to further promote the ideals of the community. Ideally provide free therapy. Ideally offer scholarships to traditional higher education or trade schools. Ideally create a system to help homeless people get back on their feet.

Overall the end goal would be to keep as much money within the local economy and maintain businesses that embody the values which create a healthy local economy, lower the costs of living, and restore the community to a healthy social state.

Or maybe I'll just start a sex cult in the woods.

I'd ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

I'd tell ya what I'd do, man.

If I were “influence the government” rich I’d probably start an organization designed to facilitate and encourage the spread of cooperatively owned businesses by providing loans to unions to purchase stock in their employers and by loaning money to start cooperatively owned businesses.

I’d also probably lobby the government for more protections of individual rights and environmental protections and more human focused urban development prioritizing shared mass transit and bicycles over cars.

Lifestyle, I’d stick to a middle class life. I don’t need things to be particularly nice to be happy, just more time with the people I love and the ability to partake in community

We have this really cool cafe in my city where you can buy buttons when you eat there, like 20 bucks worth, and people who can't afford to buy food can come take six buttons and use them to get a hot meal. I would subsidize the fuck out of it and hopefully open other locations so we could help as many as possible.

It depends, how rich? Millions? Billions?

I would fix the gym/auditorium at my old high school (the drama club has to share it with all of the sports teams and PE, and all of drama’s stuff gets broken or stolen) so that drama has their own space.

disappear from radar

do random acts of charity

buy senators and media to support climate change and education

make a competing big cheapo pharma

redirect fame/blame to paid actors

Two chicks at the same time.

Not go to work and sleep for about a year before I figure out what I really want to do.

Edit: move to Finland first.

Hunt other rich men for sport, and have my very expensive team of lawyers keep me out of prison.

Build a sweet ass house with a wizard's tower.

• Get a house with a garden (backyard)
• Start my own laptop/desktop line
• Obtain and maintain a naturally aspirated manual V12 Aston Martin

I always wanted to buy up a bunch of section 8 housing and make the really nice. Like, free wifi, gym, day, care, maybe some simple shops on the bottom floor. It would hold events, regular stuff like bingo or what have you, but also job fair/workshops, health talks, etc. I would partner with local business (hell, even big ones), so people living in my property get discounts for food, clothes, etc by showing their apart key or whatever. I wanted to make a really nice living space for people with lower income because they always get the shittest stuff. I wanted people to have a place of pride to come home to, a place safe for them and their families.

My follow up was to buy luxerh condos/apartments for the stupid rich, up the rent, and use the difference to continue funding my stuff, or, if I didn't need it, make a months raffle or something.

Move to a different country

Pay the debts of myself and all my close friends.

House with a yard is already a check for me but I have a neighbour on both sides. I want a standing house.

Then I'd invest a lot in art, my own and others. Work less, play more. See the sights. Meet people.

Move out of the US.

Get my healthcare dealt with (not bad, but i definitely avoid stuff just so I don't have I pay or deal with the VA absolute bullshit...I am thankful for it Incase something tragic happens...but otherwise, I'd rather suffer.).

Then I would build a house and start a mellow business like a boardgame cafe or something of the like.

There would be other stupid frivolous spending, but getting set and comfortable would be priority.

Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

New car, caviar, four star, daydream

Think I'd buy me a football team

I'd fund online counter propaganda campaigns. Drown out the voices of the troll farms attacking our democracies.

Oh darling, if I had real money, I would use it to sow chaos and undermine the world's financial markets.

But most of all, if I have to live in this bullsh!t cyberpunk reality, we might as well have shadowrunners/Edgerunners/mercs. So I'd recruit as many paramilitary mercenaries as I could find and set them on the task of sabotaging critical corporate infrastructure, kidnapping any oligarchs we could find vulnerabilities for, and doing brazen, overt terrorism kind of stuff.

The idea being if I can cause enough chaos perhaps the people of the world might finally have enough and force change for the ultra wealthy.

If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen, Right in the middle of the town. A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below. There would be one long staircase just going up, And one even longer coming down, And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks For the town to see and hear. And each loud "cheep" and "swaqwk" and "honk" and "quack" Would land like a trumpet on the ear, As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man."

If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

I see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife With a proper double-chin. Supervising meals to her heart's delight. I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock. Oy, what a happy mood she's in. Screaming at the servants, day and night.

The most important men in town would come to fawn on me! They would ask me to advise them, Like a Solomon the Wise. "If you please, Reb Tevye..." "Pardon me, Reb Tevye..." Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes! And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong. When you're rich, they think you really know!

If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack To sit in the synagogue and pray. And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall. And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day. That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. Lord who made the lion and the lamb, You decreed I should be what I am. Would it spoil some vast eternal plan? If I were a wealthy man...

if I was billionaire rich, I would buy companies that provide essential services and make them non profits.

buy useful tech services and convert them to non profits without advertising. e. g. YouTube etc.

lobby to ensure environment protection laws are made to protect the environment and not profits.

stop government subsidies on anything that's bad for the environment. meat. fossil fuels.

2 chicks at the same time

You didn't say how much, from lowest to highest income level:

Retire

Help every homeless person in my city, then my county, my province.

Order or build locally, tiny homes for all the homeless in my city. Expand outwards if I had money left.

Buy the local power corp and run it as a nonprofit.

Fuckin' A

If I was a rich man, the only thing that would really change is the anxiety of losing my job and not being able to pay rent would go away.

SCIENCE! So much science. If I have enough to go around, I'll pay others to do science with me.

So basically, no change from my current life, except I'd be less stressed about money, and therefore much more productive.

To me "rich" means someone whose passive income exceeds their spending.

So if I was rich I'd stop working and instead pursue my personal interests. Ideally I'd buy a property somewhere remote and close to water with a lot of land and start building a homestead of some sort.

Buy secluded land and build a prep retreat/bunker just in case. Then take some time, hire a team, and map out a path to first taking over the Democratic party, maybe rebrand, then a path to taking over the government and updating the Constitution.

Buy a place in Montreal. Try to do random acts of kindness on randos where I can. You can't generally change the world, but you can make personal impact.

Great old novel/movie "The Magic Christian."

https://youtu.be/FE2zTnOJ94I

Peter Sellers is a billionaire who decides to wage war on his own class.

At this point, setup a refuge for disabled people in similar situations as myself. I would help people make the best out of what they can do without the misery of fighting for the fundamental right to survival in a suicide inducing system of terrorism from government and those that do not understand chronic pain and unfixable problems.

I'd also likely get an Iron Man like exoskeleton to fix my weak and useless torso.

If I had millions I'd buy some land and build a space for artists and musicians to come and hang out and make things.

If I had billions I'd disrupt the appliance industry because I can't find any decent appliances.

If I were rich good chance I'll be like any typical rich people. Money corrupts.

Live peacefully in a mountain or valley somewhere

Weekend everyday, basically. I don't care for a house or fancy things, I'd spend my time creating art and having fun with friends - who I'd share some wealth with.

id like to open a roller skating rink with attached cereal bar.

Have a child / children. Invest in my community. Help my parents retire. Get another dog. Buy the fancy chocolates. Probably join some sort of workout class for my own health.