The part I don't get is that there are so many cool, real conspiracies out there to be explored
this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2024
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But how are you going to feel smarter than everyone else, if everyone gets convinced by your conspiracy theory?
This is so Carl Sagan.
And so we got to talking. But not, as it turned out, about science. He wanted to talk about frozen extraterrestrials languishing in an Air Force base near San Antonio, “channeling” (a way to hear what’s on the minds of dead people—not much, it turns out), crystals, the prophecies of Nostradamus, astrology, the shroud of Turin … He introduced each portentous subject with buoyant enthusiasm. Each time I had to disappoint him: “The evidence is crummy,” I kept saying. “There’s a much simpler explanation.”
...
And yet there’s so much in real science that’s equally exciting, more mysterious, a greater intellectual challenge—as well as being a lot closer to the truth. Did he know about the molecular building blocks of life sitting out there in the cold, tenuous gas between the stars? Had he heard of the footprints of our ancestors found in 4-million-year-old volcanic ash? What about the raising of the Himalayas when India went crashing into Asia? Or how viruses, built like hypodermic syringes, slip their DNA past the host organism’s defenses and subvert the reproductive machinery of cells; or the radio search for extraterrestrial intelligence; or the newly discovered ancient civilization of Ebla that advertised the virtues of Ebla beer? No, he hadn’t heard. Nor did he know, even vaguely, about quantum indeterminacy, and he recognized DNA only as three frequently linked capital letters.
And that's just science; think of all the actual conspiracies that actually happened. MKULTRA is perfect conspiracy theorist material and actually real, but that second part means it's boring
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I found a good use for AI:
Undo bad language censoring in meme screen shots.
Man this shit infuriates me to no end. Why?!
Americans are scared of profanity.
And the globohomos
Fucking tiktok trained them like dogs.
You can't be popular on that platform unless you self censor.
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Thank god I can't see that that says bullshit... oh wait
Oh fuck you just corrupted the fuck out of me. What in actual fuck is wrong with you, writing that on the Internet where people can read it?
Well damn, terribly sorry, I've been a real fucking ass hat towards you all, allow me to apologize like the bastard I am
to the Maker of all GloboHomos:-)
I really (don't) enjoy that this is what needs censoring about this post, to get popular social media to spread it around.
Funny how they never get the message that maybe GOD IS PISSED at them.
Nooo it's all 'this is because of the gays!!' The fabulous gays of homophobe town is why it got flattened? Sure kevin
God couldn't possibly be mad at them. Despite doing the opposite of many things Jesus taught, they must be right. The man on the big stage at the hundred-million dollar church told them so.
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Bro. Ppl gonna see this and be like “THAT’S RIGHT!”
Better to identify them. ;)
Oh, don't you worry, they'll identify themselves for you without any additional encouragement.
rappelling from the ceiling
"...and the microbots in the atmosphere are making my dick gay! My dick is gay!!"
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This is an actual term apparently in common circulation, though homophobia wasn't even its original intent: https://glaad.org/globohomo-definition-meaning-anti-lgbt-online-hate/
Emerging in 2016, this multi-purpose, right-wing troll invention combines homophobia and anti-Semitism. Researcher David Futrelle’s well-known misogyny tracking site We Hunted The Mammoth offers this summary: “Ostensibly, ‘globohomo’ is short for ‘global homogenization,’ an alleged vast conspiracy to destroy ‘traditional’ culture and values and replace them with a sort of global (naturally) corporate uniculture. But it’s rarely used in this way, at least not exactly. For those who’ve seized upon the term, ‘globo’ means ‘globalist’ and therefore Jews; while ‘homo’ (the suffix) means, well, ‘homo’ (the slur). (Some, evidently worried that ‘globohomo’ isn’t gay-sounding enough, add ‘gayplex’ to it — ‘globohomogayplex.’).” According to the Online Hate Research and Education Project, white nationalists and other hate movements use “globohomo” to allege the existence of a global plot to promote the so-called ‘‘LGBTQ+ agenda,” a similarly minded conspiracy theory (promoted by certain sectors of the Christian religious right) alleging that LGBTQ people aim to surpass the rights of other groups and “groom youth into identifying as part of the community.”
Those evil leftists always pushing... checks notes corporate culture!
I remember when they were sent by god to punish the gays, but now I find out it was sneaky Kamala all along!
Does this mean that my insurance company won't consider them acts of god anymore and will actually cover them?
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How can I apply to become a globohomo? I mean I'm a straight beta male but still, I would love to join the movement.
You gotta fuck a tree.
Wouldn't that make you an arborohomo? To be a globohomo you need to fuck a light bulb
I'm not an expert, I just like telling people to fuck trees.
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Like one specific tree, or I get to pick?
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"Technically a hurricane machine would cause weather change not climate change."
Yeah see, I'm not sure if he's serious or not
Globohomo here too, ready for next year's globohomo pride??
I hope they bring enough body oil this time. Last year the budget was blown on chemtrails and ketamine. I was chafing SO bad during the gay satanic orgy
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Cybertruck owners are already being punished.
Is it really a punishment if they asked for it?
punish cyber truck owners
Noooo, not the cyber truck owners. 
He's partly right. We wanted to just punish cyber truck owners, but couldn't only target them and decided the first two groups were acceptable sacrifices.
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This sounds like a rage troll.
It just sounds sarcastic to me.
Its satire...
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