Ask Lemmy

Assaulted and held hostage for a week in my own apartment, causing me serious injuries and eventual homelessness.

I met a guy online, and we arranged to meet up for our 1st date. It went well, and during it we exchanged birthdates. Mine was the next week, so he said he’s take me out for my birthday!

The day arrives, we meet up at the same place, and after my inquiry he says we’re to a New Mexican restaurant for dinner, then to a Country & Western bar a few blocks away for some dancing. Well All RIGHT! (I did tell him I didn’t know how/hadn’t been before, but was willing to give it a go.)

At the end of dinner he asks the waiter for separate checks. I look puzzled, and he asks why. “Well, it’s a little unusual to be taken out for your birthday and have to split the check…”

“Oh, I forgot it’s your birthday. I don’t have enough money to cover this.” So I end up paying for my meal.

Tip: If this happens to you end that date immediately! I don’t, so we continue the date and go dancing.

Turns out he doesn’t like line dancing, and doesn’t lead, so he won’t line dance with me trying to learn to line dance. We have one regular dance together, which he ends mid-song, because I’m not leading right.

For the rest of the ‘date’ I get to sit there, buying my own drinks, watching him dance with others, and having drinks bought for him by those others.

I went home alone after a few miserable hours…

I was born.

I invited 20 people for my 40th birthday.
3 showed up.
My wife ate too much dough while she baked weed brownies and fell asleep right before the guests arrived.

So me and my best friends sat around the table and ate a bag of chips, I was the only one to drink alcohol, no one touched the huge amount of food I made, and from upstairs we could hear my wife snoring.

My ex finally admitted she'd been carrying on a relationship on the side, in case it didn't work out with me (her reasoning). She admitted it'd been much more than she claimed, she'd even met his parents, etc. After confessing, she started self-harming (hitting herself in face repeatedly for awhile) in front of me. I called 911, very quickly realizing I might be in that scene from Fear/It's Always Sunny and that this could go very, very badly for me.

Police showed up (~4:00 AM), shining flashlights into windows, waking up my Mormon landlords upstairs.

Thankfully, she sent the police away without incident/my involvement, then left shortly thereafter. She texted around 10 AM that she'd bought me a massage as a birthday gift, which was timely and welcome. She never showed her face again until I ran into her at a birthday party maybe 6-9 months later. Next I heard, she had shaved her head and moved to Indonesia.

Those are the main highlights, anyway.

On my 18th birthday I was homeless and living in a truck.

But it was okay cuz I was out of a terribly abusive situation and my mental health was improving.

And I went to my friend's house only to find out that they had all been arrested for robbing a McDonald's.

Truth is, I had known about the robbery after the fact, they had told me about it two days before my birthday.

I had cautioned my friends that they should not go out and spend the money they had stolen right away, if their activities change and it made them look suspicious, it increased their chances of getting caught.

This was a small time deal, they each got like $600.

They went out the very next day and blew it all.

They were arrested that night after the detective that McDonald's had hired to follow them kept track of all of their purchases and showed up at their door with the police in tow.

It's so pathetic it still makes me cringe.

So anyway I spent my birthday alone in my truck. It made me sad because you know that was the day I officially became an adult and all these years later I'm kind of still alone so I guess maybe it set a bad precedent that I could not overcome.

I spent my ninth birthday at a funeral home because my grandfather died two days earlier.

NOTHING.

Party was cancelled because my grandpa died

I got an analogue watch instead of the cool futuristic digital watch I wanted, so I cried. After reading the rest of the responses I feel very very fortunate

Two of my immediate family members died.

It was my 21st. I was new to my city and really only had one friend there at the time. He said he would take me out, we'd have a blast. He took me to a house party and ditched me almost immediately. Turns out he wanted to hook up at the party, left me for 2 hours, and then told me that it would just be a bit longer. They go upstairs, and they keep going until 2am. He was my ride home, and this was before uber.

Got randomly grabbed by the arm by some guy as he started shouting to me about my tattoos and wouldn't let me go until he finished his drunken ramble. I think he was a tourist for some sort of local football game. Worst part? My "friends" did fuck all, just kept walking, high as shit on ketamine I really didn't want us to do that day (and myself abstained from). They're not my friends anymore. I don't think they ever were. Fuck them.

So there I was, sitting on an ammo can, in Iraq. I actually didn't know it was that day until we had to write down a record of rounds expended.

My cat died.

He had been acting funny for a little while (week or so). Not moving much, growling when you pressed his belly. I was a young teen and my mom didn’t have a lot of money and basically hoped to ignore it away.

Turns out he had some sort of bladder blockage and it burst the evening of my birthday. He died in awful pain while I could only watch helpless (mom worked nights and wasn’t there). I tried to comfort him but he ended up biting my finger, I still have a scar some 30 years later.

RIP Eclipse. You deserved so much better.

Hurricane in Florida. A work friend invited my mom and I to stay at her place if it got bad. I'd spent time with her and her husband before, and thought we would have a good time playing games and hanging out.

It started to get bad, so we headed over. She didn't answer the door or phone. Finally she comes out, says we woke her up (it's 3pm) and laughed at us getting "freaked out" by a little wind. Guess we were supposed to wait for the full hurricane force winds before driving across town. Spent the remainder of my birthday on the closet floor with mom and dog.

I was circumcised

Not mine, but my trainee's. He had planned a big party with friends for his 18th birthday on the day. It was the ~~9th of November~~ September 11th, 2001.

@Mayor Poppington Thanks for seeing this. Why are American dates in the wrong order?

Got the flu and had to cancel my birthday movie party. Most of my friends went to go see the movie anyway. It was the Bee Movie

When my SO bought me a present for my fortieth birthday that was something I would never use and clearly was for him (a rare bottle of bourbon), but he pretended it was a shared interest of ours. I don't hate bourbon or anything but I very seldom drink any, maybe once a year, and I have yet to drink any from that bottle. It was wildly selfish.

Then when I turned 49 I got up that morning, and he asked me snarkily if I would be pretending if I was 39 for the rest of my life as some sort of hilarious joke about vanity. I am not vain at all and I don't care how old I am, I loved my forties and have enjoyed my fifties so far.

On my birthday this year my friend died, a few year ago same date my dog died and a few years before that my grandfather died again same date.

I dont like my Birthday and try to be greatful for the people in my life each day and each year.

My spouse became my ex.

I was gifted the cheapest and most disgusting sweets money can buy. They looked like they came from the black market. Threw almost all of them away the next day. No other gifts.
Then, I was taken to a restaurant which served some truly disgusting food. To be fair, it had recently changed ownership and used to be decent up to that point.
And that was it for the day. I probably wouldn't have minded too much, if it hadn't been a milestone birthday.

Went to the hospital. It turns out 120 is supposed to be the lower blood pressure number.

The state I live in went into COVID lockdown on my 40th birthday

My mother told me that I was ruining my birthday because I didn't want to blow out candles or have singing.

I got 50, surprise birthday party. Well you are very nice people, thank you...now fuck off.

Was born

I was called a freak by my mother and father who told me I would never be a woman, that I'm a man pretending to be a woman. That I was destroying my body by doing HRT. Average shit from right-wing parents. And they wonder why I don't talk to them anymore. Maybe your daughter hates you because you refuse to accept her, and repeatedly deadname and misgender her whenever she called you.

Yeah that was most definitely my worst birthday, so glad I cut those dipshits out of my life.

My grandmother died.