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When my SO bought me a present for my fortieth birthday that was something I would never use and clearly was for him (a rare bottle of bourbon), but he pretended it was a shared interest of ours. I don't hate bourbon or anything but I very seldom drink any, maybe once a year, and I have yet to drink any from that bottle. It was wildly selfish.
Then when I turned 49 I got up that morning, and he asked me snarkily if I would be pretending if I was 39 for the rest of my life as some sort of hilarious joke about vanity. I am not vain at all and I don't care how old I am, I loved my forties and have enjoyed my fifties so far.
I don’t pretend to know the complexities of your adult relationship; but from the two paragraphs I’ve read I’d say it might be time to get out of dodge if you can/want to.
Can't because of money. Thanks though.