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That there must be something fundamentally unlikable about me but I don't know what it is and nobody seems to want to tell me so that I can change it.
I'm not one to default to "counselor!", but I don't know how else you get an honest opinion.
I don't see how a counselor is going to give me an objective answer when they only know my perception of things. They don't know how I interact with people in real life, no matter how self aware and honest I try to be.
It's worth trying. They can breakdown situations and tell you how it looks from an outside perspective be it something you did or something you said.
Without knowing much, if you're closed off to this idea, maybe you're closed off to the people you're interacting with also?
I went to the local counselor last year and I ready don't like her and do not trust her opinion. It's not a counselor thing in general, but I genuinely don't see how someone with such a limited perspective of my personality could tell me why I cant get people to be my friend or where I'm going wrong when interacting with people. Am I supposed to recall past social interactions so they can critique it based on how I remember it? That doesn't make any sense to me.
You don't have to stick with the same person. Ask for a consult and if you aren't vibing with them just move on.
Social workers, counsellors, therapists are trained to talk through these things and understand your thought process. There are basic needs every human has, and you'd be surprised how they can help you with your own introspection.
It can be mock conversations or real ones, you can talk about how you would typically act or respond to people, and they will help you understand others possible perspectives.
There's a lot a therapist can offer you.
Mental health services in my area are severely limited, unfortunately. We literally have a counselor and an emergency psychiatrist that you have to end up in the psych ward to see. I'd do something about my shortcomings if I had options that were not Better Help, trust me. It's pretty shitty being aware of your problems and having no means of fixing them and I certainly wouldn't choose this path.
Sorry to hear your options are so limited. That's quite unfortunate (seems to be the case for too many people).
Are there any online services in your area? It's not ideal but you could do virtual sessions?
I've been debating whether I want an online service. The privacy issues are a big concern, but so it my and my families mental health. Our only real option here is Telus health and I don't like the idea of it, but I also don't know how far we can go without help. It's a bit of a delicate situation.
Interacting with a counselor is interacting with a person in real life. That's kinda the point.
Unless you're not actually doing that?
You're free to interact with me, anyway you like. Hell, you can call me. I'll be open and honest with my reactions, nothing to lose. For what it's worth, I'm old, maybe I got some perspective for you. Don't mean I'm wise! DM me though. Post responses keep getting lost. Maybe you can help me with that?
And keep working on being self-aware and honest. That never hurt anyone.
At very least I try to be to honest with myself, I'm sure that doesn't always work because I'm human, but as far as I know I am pretty aware of my faults.
But the way I interact with a counselor is not how I interact with anyone else that I come across. The setting is very awkward and I am very bad at communicating how I feel or do things. It would be very inaccurate.