tails: A Place for Mastodon Posts

Secret Panel HERE 🙂 https://tapas.io/episode/2401279

And by "time to time" I, of course, mean roughly once every three years.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mastodon)

Image transcription: tuxedo cat climbing on bathtub faucet trying to drink the water, loses footing but hangs on to faucet still trying to drink the water and eventually falls and climbs out

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2023-11-18)

Image transcription: Daniel Radcliffe has pledged to only accept acting roles that will confuse and upset Harry Potter fans.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

Image transcription: Screenshot of a post by 'Omnipotence.' The post says: 'My printer is threatening me.' Attached is an image of a phone notification from 'HP Smart' that says: 'You're low on ink. Never run low on ink again.'

(Originally published earlier today on universeodon.com)

Secret Panel HERE 🐭 https://tapas.io/episode/3089474

The mouse is also an exceptional mouse curser. It knows 19 curse words.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mastodon)

When someone really loves you, they delete all that ridiculous querystring nonsense from the end of the hyperlink before sending it to you. 💘

(Originally published on infosec.exchange: 2024-02-05)

Image transcription: Photo of Mariah Carey and Miley Cyrus at the Grammys. So, E= mc squared

(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)

People who design APIs. I am begging you. It doesn't matter how "simple" or "intuitive" or "elegant" your API is. You need to include sample code.

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

(Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-01-22)

The thing most people don't remember about Prometheus is that humans already had fire, but then Zeus locked it up behind a paywall, because Zeus was a petty little bitch. Prometheus stole it *back*. In this essay about DRM I will

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

You ever write a long post and after you've finished you delete it because you suddenly realize that you just don't give a fuck as much as you thought you did?

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Secret Panel HERE 👼 https://tapas.io/episode/2380120

You have no idea how many times I've saved you from choking to death on hot dogs. I've done more than enough.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mastodon)

That's terrifying.

Image transcription: Sleep paralysis occurs when the bacteria living in your brain gain temporary control over your motor functions.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

The real fantasy element of Dungeons & Dragons is pretending that you have a group of friends who all get along with each other and can manage to meet regularly for four hours at a time.

(Originally published on hachyderm.io: 2024-02-04)

Interviewer: can I get your references?

Me: *sighing* probably not; nobody else does

(Originally published on universeodon.com: 2022-12-18)

That's a cool feature.

Image transcription: If you swipe up with two fingers on someone’s Tinder profile it will reveal if they have a criminal record.

(Originally published on mstdn: 2024-02-04)

Image transcription: 4 panel comic by War and Peas: 1. two pharaohs from ancient egypt are standing in front of a pyramid whose construction is nearing completion. One says to the other, "You've outdone yourself this time, Babuthep." 2. he continues, "You'll be remembered for this throughout history!" 3. "It's a testament to human ingenuity." 4. time jump to the present day. At an alien conference, someone speaks to an audience, "It was aliens!"

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Secret Panel HERE 😩✨ https://tapas.io/episode/2372654

You make me want to fail.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mastodon)

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Image transcription: The most expensive pizza in the world costs $20,000. It is topped with pepperoni, sausage and a baseball that has been autographed by Babe Ruth.

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-01-12)

(Originally published on universeodon.com: 2024-02-03)

listen up, servant. do your hand thing and make the kibble appear right here.

#Caturday

Image transcription: orange cat pointing and tapping on an empty food bowl while looking up at her owner

(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)

That's so interesting.

Image transcription: Charlton Heston was not allowed to be an organ donor because his body legally belonged to the NRA.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

Secret Panel HERE 💊 https://tapas.io/episode/2361115

I'm also full of sugar!

(Originally published a few hours ago on mastodon)

Image transcription: Keanu Reeves claims that he has aged so gracefully because he refuses to acknowledge his birthday every year.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)