FrozenHandle

Rough translation with surely a lot of mistakes:

I have paranoid shizophrenia!

I see bread! (red -> bread and the bread is a character from German kids TV)

Go Away!

That Guy has a Nutri-Score of "Opfer". (Opfer means victim and is used as an insult, Nutri-Score is a nutritional score printed on product packaging in super markets)

That's why talking to therapist Dr. Oetker (Dr. Oetker is a brand that makes food stuff like cake mix)

Dude, you don't have health insurance. Leave/Fuck off you freeloader!

Wecome to the psychiatric institute Hanover!

Here we have gothic women, that make even a male duck horny.

We also have board games! Chocolate-Bonobos (The real name is bonbon not bonobo which means candy) and radio broadcast recievers that play the best Schlager hit songs.

Schlager song plays

Goosebumps!

These are my friends!

Mario Kart (Mario Barth is a German "comedian")

What does the XX chromosome say? I want to buy shoes!

And the one shy girl with the manga. My little Duckling! Damn

Always remember, there is help for you out there!

Stares at mirror

Spiegel TV (Spiegel is a german news magazine, the name means mirror)

Guess where I laid a Surprise Egg (Chocolate egg with a toy inside)

THE DUCK DOES NOT HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE! I CANNOT BE BOTHERED WITH THE "AMPEL" ANYMORE! (Ampel = traffic light, it's the name of the coalition government consisting of Social democrats (red), Free Democrats (yellow) and the Green Party)

My grandma once gifted me volume 21 of a manga I didn't even own a single volume of. All she knew was that I like that japanese comic thing so she bought a random one at the book store.

Eww no, I definitely don't want them to take any pointers from big tech. Their anti-spam methods are way too restrictive and invasive to your privacy. I don't want to give my phone number to websites just to sign up. And I cannot even view Youtube videos or Instagram posts because they are blocking the IPv6 address of my 6in4 tunnel which I need because my ISP doesn't have IPv6 yet. I have to sign in to "confirm you are not a bot".

And grapheneOS also reboots if it hasn't been unlocked in the past 36 hours. Maybe the amount of time is different by default though, I might have changed it.

Yeah it's a huge source of problems. If you are outside the US your IPv6 prefix is never gonna be correct in every GeoIP database, even if you send a request to have it corrected, so you sometimes get geoblocked and other sites just block you because it sometimes gets classified as VPN.

Also Nintendo and Sony are Japanese companies and Twitter is (or was? I stopped using Twitter even before it was sold, so I am not quite up to date) insanely popular in Japan, that's most likely the reason why it's Twitter.

I wouldn't call it running well though. Just barely playable on PS3. It was possible to get into a car, drive down a long, straight road and then crash into an invisible building because some cars were faster than the console could load assets.

I tried various linux distros like ubuntu as a kid, but because of gaming I didn't switch at that time, then around 2010 I got a home server and installed Arch on it. When Arch switched to systemd I switched to gentoo because I did not want systemd. In 2014 I switched to gentoo Linux on my desktop, but still had dual boot for gaming on windows. I tried various init systems on gentoo and then ended up using systemd anyways. Because I got sick of waiting for packages to compile I switched back to arch on my desktop. On my home server and laptop I used alpine linux for a while. I switched back to arch shortly after because I had too many issues with alpine on desktop. I still use alpine in VMs on the server, but others that I don't touch as much like the print server run rocky linux. I also tried GPU-passthrough to game in a windows VM, but I never managed to resolve all the issues. Since nowadays most games run on wine and proton I never bothered reinstalling/fixing windows when it stopped booting a few years ago, so now I use linux only.

The reasons for insertion in decreasing order of frequency are autoeroticism, concealment, attention-seeking behavior, “accidental,” assault, and to alleviate constipation.

I love how they put accidental in quotes.

Well, that is just not true anymore and hasn't been in a very long time. Probably everything made in the last 20 years has auto detection and doesn't need a crossover ethernet cable. This was introduced as an optional feature sometime in the 100Base-T era and is required for gigabit ethernet.

Good thing I switched to Linux 10 years ago. No regrets.

I had a nightmare about being back in German high school, I forgot my homework and the teacher started screaming at me. I then threw my desk through the class room and left.