Asklemmy

A goddamned bible. What the fuck am I going to do with that?

My mom's boyfriend got me this huge present that just fit under the tree that was pretty heavy. I racked my brain trying to figure out what it was, had no idea. Got to be honest i was a little hyped up to open this thing, even though my opinion of the boyfriend was average

Christmas day I finally get to find out what it is. open the box and it was a Microwave; a second hand microwave. He had replaced his, wasn't even a good microwave (5 minutes to boil a cup of water) Mom already had a microwave and i was 14 years old.

A tri-fold wallet. It was a good wallet, and I appreciated the gesture. It's just that I HATE tri-fold wallets.

A broken propeller toy wrapped in a ripped up plastic grocery bag.

A box of Mario fruit snacks when I was a kid.

About 20 years ago

I went to my family Christmas with my then-partner. I got a Grinch onesie from my family

We then attended my partner's family Christmas where basically the entire living room was stuffed with presents for the kids (my partner and their siblings). My then-partner complained about how the siblings all got more $$ worth of presents. I pointed out that I got a pair of pjs for Christmas. The reply: "it's not about the dollar amount, it's just they got more than me" (paraphrased)

I hated that present. A fucking onesie? It was such a disappointing present, and for a long time I used it as an example for questions just like this

I kept it and wore it. Eventually I lost the bitterness and started to cherish it even. Which is why I still wear it regularly this time of year! It's quite warm.. plus, it has pockets!

Grinch tax:

Rum flavoured spirit drink.. Twice.

Not me, but my wife.

She receives an envelope from her grandmother, oh cool, money!
She opened it and it was empty. Okay, no fuss she probably forgot to fill one when making all of them for the family. A week later, she told her grandma it was empty. Her grandma replied "No! There's no way it was empty, your mistaken." This is par for the course. She ignores my wife all the time and talks down to her.

So an empty envelope is the worst I've seen.

I had an aunt and uncle who, when I was a kid maybe 12, were not well off. They got my brother and I each this toyset that was like make pretend welding. It had a hand tool that, if I remember, let you weld with this soft plastic to make things with the parts in the kit.

It also had a chamber near the nozzle that spun and contained something that made a bunch of sparks.

Well... The thing kept zapping and burning me. Kinda hurt. So, being 12, I complained about it.

And of course, I was an ingrate for not liking the toy they could afford instead of a Lego set or something. The worst of it was I got what my parents meant, my aunt and uncle were kind of ashamed. But it burned me.

Hell I thought it was really cool, and even said so, but I couldn't keep playing with it due to, you know, my hand being red and kinda cut up.

Just bad times all around.

And no, no one suggested put a glove on, and it did not come with one.

I was deployed and got a box from my home unit that was basically just trash. I think it was supposed to be funny, but it was just a lot of scrap paper thrown into a box. Nothing written on them that was for me. Nothing to signal anything. Just a big box of trash that could have been nothing more than the recycling bin upended into it.

That was pretty heartbreaking.

Mug from Hotspot, probably. It's actually pretty great though.

When I was 7, my grandmother bought a Power Wheel ride-on Jeep for my cousin, and got a little die-cast Jeep for me. At the same family Christmas party. I think my other cousins also got cool shit, while my sister got something small/cheap like I did. Can't remember what exactly, the only details I recall clearly are my cousin's Power Wheel and the gift that I got.

I think grandma and my dad (her son) were feuding at the time or something, and I guess she wanted to be petty by giving us second rate gifts compared to our cousins. It was one of the first times I realized how shitty people in my own family could be.

This was 30 years ago and I still get pissed off thinking of it, even though my dad and grandmother eventually made up, and she passed away almost 20 years ago.

Someone sent me what they referred to as a self-help DVD that was just some motivational speaker type of person invalidating my issues. A virus in the DVD also temporarily destroyed my friend's DVD player in the process of playing it.

Oh fuck i have a long history of this...

My parents got me a cheap set of tools, pliers, screw drivers, level and a wood burner with no wood to burn at 10. My brother got a gameboy SP and Pokémon.

Two years later I got an electric shaver and Cologne. I didn't start growing facial hair until 17 and didn't have enough to need more than one pass with a razor until 26. Still have the Cologne, it's not awful but it's also not a smell that works for me.

14 I got a store made cake and $20. I can't eat the cake, the frosting makes my face hurt and that's been a problem since I was 5 so they know I can't eat the cake.

Basically, I didn't get a present for me until I met my wife at 30.

I received a framed picture of my parents, from my parents. They said it was because I didn't have a picture of them hung up in my house.

At the call center I worked at, our Christmas bonus was a dress shirt with the company logo on it.

My wife wears it when she dyes her hair.

I was given 30 quarters that had letters and numbers on each one in a black velvet pouch. If you put them in a certain order, it had a message. The quarters went in year order. The message was a Bible passage according to Matthew. It was when Judas was given 30 silver for betraying Jesus.

The context, I told one of our friends that the gifter was trying to get with his wife while he was deployed. He denied and then made me feel like shit to insinuate such a thing. Turns out, it was true.

I still have the quarters so I could give them back some day.

People keep giving me steak house gift cards.

I'm a vegetarian. I can only eat a roll there.

My mother-in-law gave me a booked called The Etiquette Edge which essentially explained how to be polite

Sounds really fucked up of me, but I once had a girlfriend gift me a painting she made for me. I could tell she really tried, took her time, spent money on it, and she chose a subject matter I really liked, but it was absolutely terrible. One of the worst paintings I've ever seen.

It put me in such a dilemma because she even framed it and was expecting me to hang it up at my place but I couldn't bear to hang it and see it 'decorating' my place. I thanked her a lot when she gave it to me but I would've preferred she had gotten me nothing instead.