this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Hammers are very dangerous. Tens of thousands of hammer accidents happen a year in the US. Hammers can be used to dismantle and destroy things. They've even been used in the perpetration of crimes and murders. I could not on good conscience date someone who uses a hammer.

top 33 comments
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[–] winkly@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 39 points 1 day ago

...Hammer Time! 🦀

[–] PoopSpiderman@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)

As an American I can say the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a hammer is a good guy with a hammer.

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 16 points 1 day ago

As an European I'll just refer to the statistics on hammer murders and the differences between hammer city, USA and Peaceburg, Anywhere Europe. Again.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I prefer to date fellas who be swinging hammer. 😏

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Date someone with a hammer and you might get nailed.

You want to date someone with an impact driver and you'll get screwed.

All I've got is this hammer drill

[–] zloubida@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

I only use this kind of hammers.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I won’t date anyone who uses dihydrogen monoxide on a regular basis

[–] Barbarian@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

I had some of that at an extremely early age. Addicted ever since. I still can't go a day without it without feeling terrible.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

In the beginning, there was life and it was good. Then came the hammer and it's been shit ever since. Our best philosophers are deeply divided: those who think we never should have left the trees (return to monke) and those who think we never should have left the oceans. (return to crab)

[–] db2@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 22 hours ago

A girl's gotta have standards

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

Love can wait. Safety first.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Does that mean you won't see a doctor?

Famously they use those little rubber hammers on people's knees

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 3 points 1 day ago

Doctors are trained in using them safely, and in a way that benefits the public. That could make a difference.

[–] DFX4509B@lemmy.wtf 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well, that leaves anyone in a trade out of the dating pool then because most of them, eg. in the carpentry field, use hammers of some kind and in some way.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As a mechanic with about 10 hammers, guess I’m out.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I have ethical concerns about this.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

Maybe we could hammer out an agreement.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Can confirm. I work on industrial equipment. Sometimes you just gotta hit it with a hammer.

[–] blx@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

I can also confirm. I write software for a living. A hammer is a must-have.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago

Bang! Bang!

[–] bryndos@fedia.io 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I knew a hammerhead shark once, it was actually very kind and considerate, even when hammering. I think humans will probably evolve into responsible hammer users in a few thousand generations or so. It's just a matter of practice.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 1 points 1 day ago

Hammerhead sharks are unironically one of the coolest animals in existence

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 3 points 1 day ago
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I’m curious on data regarding hammer related deaths. It’s really hard to kill yourself with a hammer.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

If hammers were only useful for hurting people, yes, yes I would.

[–] python@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

As long as they aren't from Dnepropetrovsk I'm cool with it

[–] HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Gee I've never seen this argued before. By golly you've cracked the code. Checkmate!!

[–] MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

What is its MC Hammer?