brilliant
one hit in the plate carrier and all of a sudden i don't know how to do military because my AI broke
this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2025
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Chapotraphouse
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so whats the battery for? to power the AI chat bot that lets you know when youve been shot with an audible chime?
It's gonna make the TF2 ding sound
Powers a HUD to show you hit indicators and COD XP when you shoot civilians.
Getting hit in the back and igniting in a lithium fire like a gimmick enemy in a video game.
New perk unlocked: Martyrdom - Drop a live grenade upon death
The Hazmat zombie with an oxygen tank is always the best kind. It does that 
trying to get the exploding thing off it and then takes out all the regular zombies around it.
I also appreciate that lithium fire smoke is incredibly toxic. One guy getting hit would gas out a bunker or trench, probably permanently disabling the survivors on the spot.
involuntary self-immolation to own the libs
This feels like someone saw the survivor bias diagram:
didn't read the text, and just ran with it
That or they just really, really want to make Stormtroopers, y'know the Star Wars kind...well, both kinds actually 
Wtf
There is an emoji for everything.
Putting on my legendary tier computerized armor so I can get blown to gobbets by an untrained Kurdish farmer with a rusty Soviet mortar from 1948
Lol that's so fucking stupid. Yeah put the batteries right where people shoot, lithium packs are totally cool with getting crushed/punctured.
"They have to wear this dumb heavy block thing here for some reason, idk what it is or what it does, so maybe we could like, just cut out some of that and put our stuff there? It's just wasted space and weight as it is, so we can optimize the space and weight usage that way!"
Like we really are just getting to the point where military gear is graft first, cool toys for engineers and generals to drool over second, and functionality maybe somewhere after that if they get around to it but really it's not important because it's not like infantry has a role in America's strategy of just terrorbombing civilians from the sky and running guns to local fascists who do the reactionary terror from the ground and win or lose the important thing is lots of people die and lots of American businessmen get rich.
Although to be fair, I suppose, it's not like someone wearing the lithium-battery-ballistic-plate special is gonna get shot in it anyways. They're going to get pulped by a quadcopter launched from 20 miles away that costs less than just this thing's battery alone, along with the rest of their squad carrying a million dollars in top-tier-graft slop between them.
the important thing is the equipment was destroyed and needs to be replaced
cool toys for engineers and generals to drool over second
I wish they'd make impractical bullshit that's rule of cool to waste imperialist resources and will never actually be deployed. Like make an actual mecha or a bolo or some shit instead of missiles that blow up hospitals with microplastics that travel 99% the speed of light.
Although to be fair, I suppose, it's not like someone wearing the lithium-battery-ballistic-plate special is gonna get shot in it anyways.
Hey, friendly fire is a thing. And when their buddies hit center mass, this piece of hardware will almost certainly take damage, and it will almost certainly be constructed in some bullshit iPhone anti repair way where almost any failure means you have to buy an entirely new one. Oh and while we're at it, this is a good opportunity to copy Lockheed-Martin's business model and contractually force the army to hire Anduril's inhouse maintainance staff full time.
If that means Anduril engineers might potentially be in the line of fire, I'm all for it.
Although to be fair, I suppose, it's not like someone wearing the lithium-battery-ballistic-plate special is gonna get shot in it anyways. They're going to get pulped by a quadcopter launched from 20 miles away that costs less than just this thing's battery alone
Or doused in thermite 
. It definitely seems like they're still trying to win in Iraq rather than preparing for the next war.
We have reached the pig butchering of the empire stage of capitalism
Could they have at least put it in the soldier's backpack or something? Anywhere other than the middle of the torso, at least.
A battery pack on the belt would be easily accessible and out of the way and make it super easy to swap the batteries out
But the goal is to fleece the military for as much money as possible not make a good design
Have to manufacture harnesses specifically for this shit
Omg wait is this a VR headset with cameras? Lmfao
Yeah, it's apparently being considered as the next piece of grift-slop soldiers can wear.
STRIKE FACE
Palmer Luckey isn't in the room or I would
If you believe the comments, this tech will make anyone into a super soldier and let them see through walls and hip fire with perfect accuracy.