This is really a monumental societal change.
3rd spaces are nearly completely destroyed, and online seems to be the main option for ppl now.
Would be interesting to see how these compare to the number of people who's given up on meeting an SO and/or doesn't have the time/energy to.
I've def met a few people like this. They have a few terrible dates on these sites, and it just stresses them out too much to even try again. Its really sad.
10 years of online dating, 6 dates out of it. As a well below average guy I just gave up
"a well below average guy" i think stuff like this is just made up, i dont believe in ratings and i dont think others should either tbh
I also believe in a classless society.
Are you actually a below average guy, or do you just have below average pictures?
Good "candid"/fun/funny photos are huge for dating apps.
idk about him but there has been roughly one photo taken of me in the last decade and it's on my ID
Feel kinda lucky to have met my partner IRL now (though obviously that doesn't make my relationship any better than those that meet online). It's horribly depressing how reliant on online communities we've become, and how social gathering spaces and third places are eroding.
There's a few star trek episodes where they deal with characters who become addicted to either holodecks/holosuites, or games, but I guess it being a space-socialist-utopia of sorts, they give people enough 3rd spaces and community gatherings, so that its rare to find people who completely retreat from real life, and usually a sign of some mental affliction or trauma.
At least right now, I don't see the US recovering from this... 3rd spaces might pop up here and there, but they'll be increasingly rare, and against the trend of overall social isolation.
Yea, this isn't something I can see getting fixed under capitalism. I still hope that as imperialism crumbles and the treats slow down the US empire will have a revolution, but that's not in the immediate future it seems.
Mfw people start romance in revo.
On a positive note, after my last (patriarchal adhering) ex and I split up, several of my sisters around me started splitting up with their own. With the exception of one, we're still single. It's just not worth the bangmaid therapist and other abusive, exploitative crap that goes with.
When I was in college, the local indie tea/coffee shop was really nice. But then staryucks moved in a block or so over and they tanked. The nearest indie coffee shop recently was about 30? miles away and run by immigrants. There's no public transit, so I have no idea if they're still open, but I suspect not, since our local population is all but non-existent, now.
An additional hot take: online communities create weaker links than in-person communities. hear me out please
Not because the connections themselves are less strong, but because they don’t tie to any other connection. If I met someone in real life, chances are high they are going to meet my family and create connections with them too. On the other hand, if I met someone online, they would most likely not meet my partner and definitely not meet my broader family. What in real life could be a merging of social groups, and therefore a strengthening of everyone’s social nets becomes online the creation of a single link, that is therefore that much easier to break off.
right... I can't meet anyone for the life of me and be damned if I give a rats ass about even attempting to meet someone online. it's a ceaspool of distrust, lies and fake garbage online. not a good way to meet anyone tbh..
Hopefully third spaces make a strong comeback, which would be far easier in socialism.
we need to shut the internet down until we can figure out what the hell is going on
I sometimes wonder if its even possible to have any healthy online social network. We can try to build in things to make social media less addictive, and try to use less of the psychologically damaging things capitalist software companies build in... but at the end of the day an online group of friends can never sub for a real one.
That is true, a combination of both I think is the best. But, under Capitalism, the IRL experience is getting progressively worse and worse so people go into the Internet to escape that hell.
Online was good before every dating app became Tinder
Capitalist entshitiffication strikes again. The profit motive demands it
What the fuck. >60% of couples meet online? I am fucking cooked
Fediverse Tinder where?
"my instance defederated from the baddies"
-a future sentence to be uttered
NSFW
8=====>
graph ending during covid lockdowns sure is a choice
Curious which app though bc most of them just hit you with a wall of sorority girls. Like seriously I sat there on Hinge for an hour swiping left and it still had more. Bumble didn't do that it immediately figured out who I like and I got a few dates off it, didn't put a coin in the machine either. Still going out with someone I met off there. I didn't even bother with these apps for years because they're horrible but yeah that's what worked for me. I forget which one of the apps isn't owned by Match but the main ones are doing social experiments on people now or something.
They literally use an ELO system, by the way. Which is crazy. So if you swipe right on someone you are "challenging them" and you lose when they don't want you, lowering your ELO score 💀. I don't need to explain what they think a chess victory is in their ELO system. They're US tech companies which means they get bored living in a money pit and do social darwinism for fun.
If you pay me $5 dollars you may talk to each other for 5 days! But, if you pay me $10, you may receive an additional free talk week!
Don't you guys want to talk? So give me money! There are women in your area ready to talk!
Neighbors is an interesting metric. Holding steady and now beating collage.
If neighbors means "near the parents home", then it makes sense. Many go to colleges in different cities, then don't stay, and lose touch with their college social circles, but the families near your parents home keep a consistent connection.
I think there are many valid criticisms of online dating, I would not suggest it’s an unalloyed good thing. However, I am old enough to have plenty of experience (trying to) date when online wasn’t an option (limited only to work, through friends, and through church since I was religious when I was younger) and I have to say, I prefer having the online option - or at least I did before I married my wife, who I met online.
Relying only on non-online spaces sucked for me. I just didn’t have the confidence to approach women and ask them out. I put myself in the friend zone all the time. When I first found online dating, I found it refreshing. It lowered that barrier for me and I think probably for a lot of other more socially awkward people.
There’s probably broader social problems when online becomes the dominant form, at least under capitalism.
Sometimes I get the feeling Zoomers think dating was “easier” before apps but I really don’t think that was the case, at least for me.
I wonder how much is just a definitional conversion of 'through friends' to 'online' because friends are now online as well.
Only goes to 2020. I think that after 2020, the online dating scene has seen a pretty sizeable decline.
I feel the online one needs to be split to online dating and online - other. I think there's a difference between say we met on dating app, we were involved in a niche interest on a forum and then met at an event or something like that, or we were twitter/bluesky mutuals who chatted for years etc
Wonder who were the people who met online in the 80s. Like a nasa engineer and a astronaut?
Wow.... what's wild to me about this is around the time where "Through friends" and "Online" cross is when I was having a shit time with the dating sites of the time and my best friend introduced me to my partner. I guess I lucked out a bit there.
Side note, I'd be curious to see how this looks now, if there has been any rebound in post lock down times.
Yes, absolutely. But also: I wonder how much of the online stat is stuff like people who met in online communities/groups compared to, say, dating sites and apps.
Because I could absolutely see a large portion of that line being people who met after joining a local meetup group for a shared interest like tabletop games, hiking, sports, etc.
It used to be that the dating pool was very limited in the way that making friends and dating in school is, where the odds are good that the thing you and your friends have most in common is your age and the distance that you live from each other. It wasn't until college that I really met a diverse group of people who all shared a common interest in what they were passionate about. Nowadays I can go online, find people nearby who share a hobby of mine (or even meet people through an online hobby first and then physically meet years later), and maybe find lifelong friends or partners through that rather than somebody my friend happens to know or somebody I work with.
Married the person I met online. We are basically inseperable.
Perfekt graph to display a shit society
I think this is actually good in that the online space lets us have access to more options and let folks find partners that are well suited to their idiosyncracies
What's bad about it I think is the fact that capitalists are involved extracting value. But essentially we have inserted control and intentionality into a process that previously was more or less random. The wisdom really did used to be, just wait for it, it will happen when you least expect it. Well, not for everyone!
I predict that we'll see a lot of people giving up on human relationship altogether with the advent of horny AI chatbots.
This is the most upsetting graph ive seen in many years... and this is why so many people are single. Its the reason I am single. I absolutely abhor "online dating". The couple times I did try it it was regrettable, and I dont want to do that again. Lord, help me find a suitable wife.
I mean, we met online but not on a dating site.
First long term relationship, brother of my friend who came down here from up north. Had kids, never married, at midlife he got radicalized and hella racist and abusive, we split dramatically after 21 years, (not all his fault, I also did regrettable things in response to what was going on).
Second round met online, had a date, hooked up for awhile, really got on well. He'd had a string of 2 year relationships (from "good on paper" matches from eHarmony) so I said after 2 years we can live together. Our kids all got along, his parents liked me after awhile, he wanted to get married, I said you can ask after we've lived together 2 years. We are happy a dozen years in.
I don't think it matters how you meet but it DOES hurt to think of people as a commodity, all that swiping and trying to maximize compatibility. People are people not clothing or toys.