'could care less' instead of "couldn't". I know it's just a regional / generational difference, I don't really care about being a prescriptivist or that my way is more "logical". Phrases and idioms can be stupid and counterintuitive. But that ~~'s~~ said, it bugs the living hell out of me, and I instantly think anyone using it is an ignorant dumbass.

I literally dislike it whenever anyone uses the word literally when they clearly mean figuratively.

Its just extra syllables to lie to me.

"It is what it is". This cliche is symptomatic of learned helplessness and only serves to protect the status quo against any sort critical analysis and reform.

"It's just common sense." No, it's usually either an inference you made based on incorrect information, or it's information you gleaned from your particular environment that not everyone has experienced.

So it bothers you when people vocalize their question marks, eh?

Any turn of phrase which is stated incorrectly. Eg.

• case and point
• doggie dog world
• at your beckon call
• they're on tender hooks
• should tie you over
• it's a mute point

I get unreasonably enraged at "am I the only one who". It's so arrogant and dismisses all the people who have been expressing the same opinion. Yes, you're so special and unique, you must be the first person to bring it up.

I've also had it with "literally". There is no need to use that word unless you are saying something that might be interpreted as figurative and you are clarifying that you mean it literally. "We literally live on the same street". Is there a figurative meaning to that? Why do you need to specify you mean it literally?

"Common sense" when it actually means "something you would know if you'd lived my exact life". There are very few things in this world that are actually "common sense", and to be honest the whole concept should just be removed from cultures in which it is present.

"Turn of phrase."

I much prefer the phrase "parlence of our day."

"Give something 110%"

Fuck no! 100% is the max. Even that is often too much to ask. Also, what's in it for me? Your appreciation huh? Well fuck you.

"I have a challenge for you".

No you don't. You have a problem and want to make it mine. Piss off.

"Let that sink in..."

All I think about is what does the sink want, and why is it outside? Any point they were trying to make is now a joke to me. Better to say "think about that for a minute."

"Let's agree to disagree"

This solves nothing, it just equates to a polite way of saying I'm done talking to you.

"Have your cake and eat it too"

Motherfucker, you have it backwards because you're too smoothbrained to understand what a fucking paradox is.

The original, correct version is "to eat your cake and have too".

The idea is that you want to eat a cake, but still have the cake afterwards. This is a paradox because you can't be in posession of a particular cake after you already ate the damn thing.

Every time I hear someone say ‘eh’ in a questioning tone or to mean ‘um actually’ I lose my shit. Or even just to play something down.

Like I literally come to hate the person instantly. Its a very strong feeling on a very small sound.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eh

Eh (/ˈeɪ/ or /ˈɛ/)[1] is a spoken interjection used in many varieties of English. The oldest Oxford English Dictionary defines eh as an "interjectional interrogative particle often inviting assent to the sentiment expressed."[2] Today, while eh has many different uses, it is most popularly used in a manner similar in meaning to "Excuse me?", "Please repeat that", "Huh?", or to otherwise mark a question. It is also commonly used as an alternative to the question tag "right?", as a method for inciting a reply, as in "Don't you think?", "You agree with me, right?", as in, "It's nice here, eh?" (instead of "It's nice here, right?"). In the Americas, it is most commonly associated with Canada and Canadian English, though it is also common in England, Scotland, and New Zealand.

"We don't take kindly to British English around these parts."

When talking politics:

"It's plain as day" "Common sense" "I don't know about that" "We all know" "It's just natural" "Normal" "Everybody (verbs) (x)"

Like that kind of stuff irks me in normal conversations but when we are talking about something that is part of common debate, obviously it's fucking not already known "common sense", and dismissing evidence that clearly contradicted it by saying "I don't about that" or similar just sends me.

It's a problem with trolls, strangers, and even loved ones for me. It's just wild

“Most people think ___.” No, unless you’re citing a statistic or roughly quantifying how many anecdotes you’ve heard agreeing with you to support that statement (both of which rarely happen), that’s just your opinion wrapped up in language to avoid actually justifying it.

Additionally, even if most people think something, I don’t care what most people think. In my experience what most people think vs what the best thing to think is are often not aligned.

I tend not to boil people down to their habits. They likely don’t know it bothers you and don’t know why they’ve made an enemy of you. Their reaction to me bringing it up will absolutely determine how I feel about them, though. I can teach myself to get past almost anything if I can justify their action in good faith.

"Boys will be boys."

Fuck you Tom! That's how you react to your brat violating the bodily autonomy of another human beeing!? Hearing you say that means he feels it's normal, he's got permission and that it's good masculine behavior. You're teaching your son to be an asshole instead of a functioning human being. Boys will behave better if we teach them to, so you better pick up the slack and join the rest of us in raising your fucking child!

"Ding ding ding!"

I think it's condescending as fuck.

"Bro" or any variation thereof that assumes familiarity where none exists.

The artifice offends.

"Literally" meaning figuratively. I'm fine with most words changing with use; but we need that word! It's how you indicate you're not exaggerating or speaking dramatically! Especially these days, that clarification is important!

I'm also seeing a lot of corporate buzzwords in job descriptions. I get that these are essentially technical terms, but they're not being used for accuracy or clarity here. You just don't like how short your description is.

In writing: "A Masterclass in X" to describe some sort of exemplary behavior. Hate hate hate seeing it.

I'm more forgiving with spoken language, but agree with the use of "literally" to mean "figuratively", it bothers me.

And in niche hairstyling lingo I hate when people use the word "micro-plopping" to describe scrunching or blotting with a cloth, because that technique precedes the word by at least 25 years, it wasn't invented recently and didn't need a new word. Plopping is tying your wet hair up in a cloth in a accordioned arrangement for awhile, and scrunching is just scrunching. What they are describing is better explained by saying they blotted with a cloth and/or scrunched with a cloth.