I don't mean to laugh, this is genuinely cruel, but it's also just really funny 
"Daddy died because you wanted blueberries and didn't manage your finances well enough"
I'm sorry but this is sitcom levels of funny
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
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her mom makes her blueberry pancakes two years from now and she starts hysterically crying saying she’d rather have her dad back
great parenting skills trad mom
"On a work trip with Jesus to afford your blueberry budget" sounds like a Tom Waits lyric
Sometimes something is so fucked up that you have to laugh, because what else can you do?
It's a great way to turn her against Jesus when he doesn't return from this work trip.
You took my dad
Nothing personal kiddo, but the sex was too great
I want to know something, what's the deal with westerners being so bad at telling kids a person died? even a religious person like her is bad at this, arguably the easiest ones to explain are religious people "oh sweetie we believe that there's a life and an afterlife and when we die our spirits leave our bodies here then we end up in the afterlife" just say that, but she won't do that because even to the standards of the worst christians his ass is likely looking up right now.
westerners' avoid thinking about death as a general rule and far too many have kids as some kind of performance or as a method to fill the hope left by their own unrealized dreams and aspirations.
basically, they aren't having kids to build a future so much as having kids to reconcile their past. and death is the ultimate future, so they completely biff it when the kid has questions.
what a massive lie, Jesus would never go to hell even for business
Well according to Christian tradition surrounding the Harrowing of Hell, it seems that he would go, but only to beat up Satan.
"Sweetie, look at this household discretionary budget for last quarter. Your blueberry requests are creating untenable expenditures for the firm. You need to cut back or we may have to consider a legal intervention to reduce access to spending. As my daughter you are a fiduciary and have an obligation to keep us profitable."
Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Blueberries $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my father has been killed
Marx really spent 3 whole volumes yapping about the cost of a good coat and never mentioned blueberries once.
well sure, i can buy a good coat for a week's wage, but around here organic blueberries cost an arm and a leg
no, the arm and leg were fine, it was just the neck
Spend less on rent, duh
The mom was the real shooter all along
Christians blathering on about the importance and sanctity of the family doing their favorite thing: lying nonstop to their children about literally everything, including the most significant and defining moment of their childhoods. Anyone who thought this kid was better off now that pops is out of the picture hasn't met the mom.
A very close friend of mine passed with a daughter who was two at the time. Her surviving parent never lied to her when she asked questions, of course she was too young to understand really. I don't think saying "he's with Jesus" has anything but negative effects.
This is awful, I normally like to make fun of these people, but it's hitting me right in the childhood with abusive parents right now. I hope that kid turns out ok and escapes all this without too much trauma. It seems like her mother is going to make literally everything about her dead husband, and use his death as a massive tool of control over her daughter.
She can only get away with it because society will cancel her daughter if the daughter says anything bad about it
Society won’t. MAGA will. MAGA is not society.
I don't see society stopping any of this shit, do you?
Society is what society does
why didn't this devout christian just say he's in heaven and theyll meet again? maybe Mrs. Kirk thinks he's in hell lololol
It’s lying but I think it’s really just the mom passing on her inability to deal with death. The “he’s with Jesus now” shit is what she’s telling herself to avoid facing any trauma. So it’s what she tells the daughter, and now the daughter will grow up emotionally incapable of dealing with death.
Would people really do that, just go and use religion as a massive cope around their inability to deal with mortality?
Yah this reminds me I lost a grandparent when I was a little kid but not too young to deal with that sort of thing and I feel like the parent whose parent had passed kind of tried to shelter me from it even though I asked to travel with them out of state to the funeral, I wonder if they were having a hard time processing. Kids are able to deal with a lot more than they are given credit for but are infantilized by adults IME.
That's what grandparents and pets are for
back in my day, dads would go for cigarettes, smdh, what happened to men, good times, weak classic gits, whatever
I just saw something in the ABC.net.au about how blueberries contain a whole lot more pesticides than they ought to, because the limits were set at the amount of berries were eating in the 1990s, and people eat a lot more berries than they used to
food for thought, maybe look into it yourself, I don't eat a lot of berries (named berries, not the botanical definition)
I know nothing about Kirk's widow, but honestly I too would not be teaching great emotional lessons a week after my husband was assassinated. Not convinced they should be made into a spectacle, even if they're the one tweeting or whatever.
Yes, I have no doubt she's a terrible person but this is the kind of misstep anyone could make after a traumatic event and hardly indicates anything about her as a person. What will be meaningful will be how she handles it later on, and as she's the kind of person who would marry Charlie "his neck just did that" Kirk I have no doubt it will be awful.
I saw a few TikToks about this sentence earlier and couldn't make any sense of it without context, jesus that's bad.
I remember reading that his kids saw him get shot. Poor things. I hope they get therapy but this makes me think they won't
Therapy is woke
Perhaps with their mother running for office they will spend even more time with their many servants and so grow up interacting with real human beings
Not at the same level, but I was exposed to a lot of violence as a kiddo, and I turned out fine (lol), I got my own therapy in my 20s, and I'm still working on it
Oh there’s no way she actually said that to her daughter, that’s some scripted shit they made up for the camera.
This is the plot of a Moral Orel episode. The one that was centered exclusively on women that got the show canceled.
God moral Orel was so ahead of its time.