this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 41 comments
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[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

no blowjobs please

well what am I supposed to do now??

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] StarMerchant938@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

When's your birthday?

22nd of February.

What year?

Every year.

Get out.

[–] dastechniker@lemmy.world 55 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i want you to look at my cat an orange and white cat, content in my lap.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] dastechniker@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

YESSS very nice thank you

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

That's a powerstance if I've ever seen one

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Ah the 8bitdo n edition, I bought the matching mouse and calculator last week, send help 😢

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

it's genuinely the best keyboard I've ever had, I switched out the keys to red linear ones I had lying around since I'm going to college in about a month but other than that it's stock and AMAZING!!

It's so light and portable and Bluetooth is so nice to have. I thought it would be a gimmick but being able to play Jackbox from another room and just bringing the keyboard over is so helpful!!

[–] asqapro@reddthat.com 30 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Source comic (NSFW for some blood later in the comic) for the image. It was tickling my brain that it was so familiar.

[–] einlander@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This webcomic was legendary back in the day. No one expects jump scares from images you control.

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah I forgot about it until I saw the dirty woman walking then I left. Haha

Thanks for the Source! Maybe one day I will be bold enough to read that again. Memorized the image imediately.

[–] msage@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago

It seems that Connect fucks up ampersands in the URL, your link is actually fine.

[–] msage@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago

The link doesn't work for me, but copying the name from URL helped me find it, thanks.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago

Nevermind then.

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago
[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

What kind of insane?
Because I wouldn't mind a few fewer health insurance CEOs 🤔

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I mean, there are always other options lol

I would like a bowl of eyes please

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

No blowjobs

How about blowing my back out?

Do you sneeze when looking at a bright light? If not you can smell some ground pepper. I'm afraid that's all it'll take for me these days.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

as long as it's unrelated.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well then who the hell is gonna clear all the grass clippings off my sidewalk!?

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I let the wind take care of it. My driveway and sidewalk are usually clear of clippings within 3-4 days after mowing.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I've tried mewing at that guy's grass clippings to see if I could speed up the process. There wasn't a noticeable difference.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

But all I brought were blow jobs. :(

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Surely the free market will balance out blowjon supply and demand. If not, I guess we need to do some government subsidies. How about 50ct off your income tax for every job?

[–] candyman337@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

There's an orange guy and his cronies, it would be cool if you could go on a rampage and get rid of em

[–] AntiBullyRanger@ani.social 4 points 2 days ago

Just your presence. It's less lonely walking the path of insanity together.
—Insane since I was 3.

[–] Afflictedlife@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago

We are out of clock butter and clean tea cups

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 2 days ago

Can you get us a version of the pic that's cropped properly?

[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

Get me a hatman hallucination with a side of mania

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Gonna start using this at work.

"Alright guys, I'm going fucking crazy, anyone want anything while I'm out?"

[–] nebula42@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

I would really like some hope for the future if you can find some there, please

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Tea would be nice.

Chai with some lavender notes might hit the spot.

... No, not just for me, take a break once in a while!

[–] Elgenzay@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

When you need nightmare fuel in Don't Starve Together

[–] elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

How about a frappuchino and a hand job?

[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Borgar and fries

Also, you don't have to walk this lonely road, it's not the only one you ever known, you know.

We can walk it together <3