this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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(sorry for the Daily Mail link).

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[–] Chainweasel@lemmy.world 150 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

If he stole all of the right shoes, that means everything's left.
And if everything's left, did he take anything?

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 64 points 1 week ago

He seems like an all right guy

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 week ago

If the shoe don't fit you must acquit.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

There's plenty left: all the wrong ones.

Seems pretty sinister of him...

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 2 points 1 week ago

I dunno, I have 2 left feet so win win for me.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

(☞゚ヮ゚)☞

[–] Postingllamas@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You looking for a job as his attorney?

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Prosecutors hate this one weird trick!

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.today 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

To be fair, stealing all the right sided shoes from a shoe store just to irritate Barry Allen is absolutely something Thawne would come up with.

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 3 points 1 week ago

This sounds like leftist propaganda.

[–] Jailbrick3d@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

also could be the plot of a Phineas and Ferb episode.

BEHOLD, MY RIGHT FOOT SHOE STEAL INATOR

[–] Redacted@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Bet the store owner was hopping mad.

[–] Illogicalbit@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

There must be something wrong with this man’s sole.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That joke was already made in the article.

[–] Redacted@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I didn't read it as it's the Daily Heil.

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

There's an article?

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] MummifiedClient5000@feddit.dk 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wish that I could say that it isn't right, but.....

[–] boydster@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

In fact, it seems it was all right

[–] RotatingParts@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 week ago

All that was left was left.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago

If you only take what is right then you will never be wrong.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago

In B4 someone blames the Left

[–] DirigibleProtein@aussie.zone 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If it’s wrong to take the right shoes, then would it be it right to take the left shoes?

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It would be right to take the wrong shoes.

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[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

He must've been desperate, he's got nothing left

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ksigley@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago
[–] BubblyRomeo@kbin.earth 8 points 1 week ago

He's too far into the far-right spectrum!

[–] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I can appreciate this kind of mayhem.

[–] mrfriki@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

A righteous man, I see.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

What are you gonna do, chase him? With only your left shoe?? This guy's smart

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

….why? Was it just the display shoe or something?

[–] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 week ago

There’s an old myth about a shipment of playing cards. The guy buys a whole container of playing cards, but removes the same card from all packs. The shipment is confiscated and later sold for almost nothing because the packs are all incomplete. He then buys the shipment and restores the packs. All this was cheaper than paying import duties.

Maybe this guy is playing a long game.

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 3 points 1 week ago

I wondered too and bravely ventured onto the dailymail website when the comments left me hanging. Your hunch was right, the only this i can add is that he walked out

seemingly unaware that they were not matching pairs

[–] DicJacobus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Dumbass stole an odd number of shoes.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I'm just saying, renaming your store to "53 Shoes" after this would be really funny.

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

who steals a shoe(s)? honestly!

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 3 points 1 week ago

There was an old wacky-crooks story about a one-legged man who kept getting arrested stealing display shoes from shops when they matched his remaining leg.

[–] NeuralNomad@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 week ago
[–] modus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Probably gonna sell them on onefoottwoshoes.com

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My guess is he has a new romantic interest who is one legged that he's trying to impress.

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Is her name Peg?

Well we do have a sense of humour

[–] BeNotAfraid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

What did he do with the wrong ones?

[–] Draegur@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

Invite a lot of really bad dancers to buy all the left shoes for cheap

[–] riskable@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago

These shoes will claim they're victims of a crime and they're right!

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