this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Maybe he can just try out one more haircut. Maybe to just below the chin. Preferably with a large blade falling from some height. All you need is a basket infront to catch anything that falls off.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

But who will deliver my 2am drunk purchases next day for free? Communists? I didn't think so.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Robots? Communist robots? Who knows what could happen with the redistribution of wealth.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 0 points 6 days ago (1 children)

We already have delivery robots under capitalism, I'm afraid you'll have to make a better case than that.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Maybe just the redistribution of wealth then. Also maybe a guillotine. Even better, a mega guillotine!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYJ5ZViYhHQ

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 7 points 6 days ago (4 children)

At $30 per haircut, you’d need about 8 billion haircuts skipped to save that much. Dude must cut his own hair every few milliseconds.

[–] SirQuack@feddit.nl 4 points 6 days ago

At $30 per haircut

~~What? That cheap? When I went to a mediocre barber, I had to pay 35 eur, but now it's more like 45 eur.~~ ^(forgot to shitpost)

What kind of economy are you in? My haircuts are 48 million euro per month (they're on a subscription, but I locked in a good deal as an early adopter), that's why I'm not rich, no other reason.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 6 days ago

No one said it was gonna be easy.

[–] hotchops@ani.social 2 points 6 days ago

Bald leadership pays off.

[–] bebabalula@feddit.dk 2 points 6 days ago

Two words: Compound interest 🚀

[–] vane@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jeff Bezos cooking recipie.
Not need to shave Jeff Bezos before put him in oven.
Just stuff him like a chicken.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What sort of herbs and spices would you recommend?

[–] vane@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Lemon & Thyme Roasted Chicken looks nice. Not sure how Jeff will apply to that recipe, maybe his meat is to old and it's only for coq au vin.

[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What the hell am I going wrong then? I've been bald for 3 years and I ain't got jack shit!

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Perhaps you forgot to invest the savings into building a global e-commerce empire.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago (4 children)

It's getting a 200K funding from your dad that's the real trick. He also worked for a large company making money at the time, he wasn't trying to survive.

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[–] Thorry84@feddit.nl 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

3 years? I've been bald for 20 years and I'm 300K down the hole, when does this trick kick in exactly?

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 7 points 1 week ago

You spent it all on avocado toast, didn't you.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Mate I was balding when I was 19 and went full cue ball when I was 23. I'm 36 now. Where the fuck is my money??!

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 9 points 1 week ago

You and me both, my friend… remember Balding Elon Musk? I think it’s not so much the lack of hair, more like the lack of ethics.

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Steve Jobs would wear the exact same outfit, Every. Single. Day. That's the kind of dedication needed, most people aren't cut out for it.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 6 days ago

ALSO he was on a juice diet to treat his "very slow growing rare pancreating cancer"

[–] scytale@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Dude didn't even shower to save on water bills.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

He didn't even buy any expensive cancer medicine, he just drank smoothies.

/uj I'm not even making this shit up, he tried to beat his cancer with regulating his diet to include various fruits and vegetables and ended up using his private jet to jump ques on multiple organ donations , because , get this, YOU CAN'T BEAT CANCER BY EATING MORE FUCKING FRUIT.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Silicon Valley turtleneck was just the Mao Suit of its era.

[–] sniggleboots@europe.pub 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

don't fall for it, everything you save on barber visits you spend on razors

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 6 days ago

I know at least one person who thought about getting it lasered

[–] manigordo@lemy.lol 0 points 6 days ago

Don't believe this guy, he is a barber!!!

[–] lime@feddit.nu 10 points 1 week ago (7 children)

i spend €8 a year on razors, how many barber visits is that?

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[–] Beebabe@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Cheapest haircut in my town for my hair type is $75+tip. I just cut it myself now.

Probably not as good as being bald, but you'll probably save at least a few billion.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 3 points 6 days ago

Good news, at this rate it will only take you 3178666666.66667 haircuts to be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Jesus christ.

Are you a woman and is that USD?

The most I've ever paid was $65AUD for a hearcut and beard trim in a mining town where the majority earned over 200k a year

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