No Stupid Questions

Add Wolverine/Deadpool healing factor.

Make everyone shit rounded rare earth metal cylinders. Suddenly we don't need Cobalt and Lithium mines any more and the worst aspects of having to poop are solved too. It's dry and doesn't stink, so no need for the toilet, just poop in your little collection bucket, no need for wiping and then you go on with your day.

Remove sneezing. If only because I find people wishing me "bless you" to be the most useless & meaningless human interaction I can think of.

How about your bless my farts, Ryan, you purposeless dingbat.

Hear everyone's thoughts at will so I can hear anyone's thoughts if I want to.

Biting my cheeks or tongue while eating

There’s only one good answer to this question period.

Everyone's saying the need to sleep. That goes a bit too far IMO. Who knows it would work out as we think it to be? Maybe the 33% we sleep will just be reduced off our lifespan with nothing won.
Also, honestly, even if that wouldn't be the case - I wouldn't want to not sleep at all. It's like a regular break from life. Even if employers wouldn't exploit this, I don't want to be awake forever.

Now, here's my proposal: We still need to sleep, but we can control falling asleep and waking up like it's a muscle. Lay in bed and fall asleep anytime. No more falling-asleep issues for anyone, no more sleepless nights.
And also, we'd have a perfect inner clock and the ability to choose when we wake up. Fall asleep at 11 PM, have to get up at 7? Great, you know exactly when 8hrs are over and are able to just wake up, no alarm needed.

Back pain is not painful anymore, but rather pleasant now

That thing when you accidentally swallow the smallest amount of spit the wrong way and start coughing like mad

Surprised nobody said cell degradation.

You now can live for as long as you're not killed whilst physically keeping an appearance of an ~30 y.o. This also technically prevents cancer.

The "loosing hair where I want it to grow and growing it where I definitely don't want it to grow" thing.

I would like to correct the gut-brain connection. 95% of the time our gut tells our brain that it wants something, and it's trying to say it wants water, but the brain hears that the gut is hungry.

needing food. that would free up a lot of time and money, no input = no output. no dishes, no stove or fridge, no need for a dishwasher, then on the other end, no need for TP, or even a toilet!

Remove the need to exercise, like an anaconda. The ability to just lay around doing nothing and still be ripped to the max. That would be cool!

I would eliminate the ability for humans to reproduce.

Have you SEEN people?

Shitting feels good... I would just alter it so it doesn't smell bad, tastes like brownie batter, and isn't toxic.

I wanted to say allergies, but I am not sure you mean abnormal stuff too.

Breathing otherwise. Annoying + can't stay underwater for long enough.

Though if add, direct thought + feeling sharing. Current communication is way too inefficient.

Remove need to sleep. You would get ~33% more time every day.

Toenail growth.

Cutting nails is annoying, and toenails are awkward and stupid.

I’m pretty sure everyone can agree that it’s unpleasant.

I strongly disagree.

Personally I'd remove the need for sleep and effectively increase my lifespan by 3rd.

I'd like to urinate from my thumbs at will.

Can I add wings? I wouldn’t mind being able to fly around!

Eliminate the need to sleep.

Surprised nobody's mentioned adding a 2nd penis yet...

All genitals have eyes now.

Senescence maybe?

Sneezing/snot production. Sure, it can feel amazing. But the sudden urgency to stop everything I'm doing and focus on my nose or risk a disgusting eruption of green mucus all over my face in a public setting is something I could do without.

Also, I'm waiting for someone with medical knowledge to come in here and mention Prions or something else silently devastating to the body.