this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 96 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We had a big mandatory meeting where an executive came in to tell us all to be happy we weren't getting our bonuses or pay raises, and used a weird analogy about poor people being perfectly happy, because they have realistic expectations and that's all you need to be happy.

He then had to leave early, as he quipped he was sharing a ride with a fellow executive on the private jet, and if he didn't leave right then, he'd have to suffer flying commercial.

[–] Blake@feddit.uk 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you’re still there, organise your workplace. Unionise. Join the IWW - they can help you to accomplish this.

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[–] archonet@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please tell me someone recorded this utter waste of oxygen doing the equivalent of stepping on garden tools in a Looney Tunes short. That's so monstrously fucking stupid it could be funny (if the old adage of tragedy + time = comedy holds true, anyways).

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[–] Whimsical@lemmy.world 91 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"Don't you guys have phones?"

Biggest physical room I've witnessed a misread happen in

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Is this some out of season April fools joke?"

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago (5 children)

And yet after everything that happened with Diablo Immortal, Diablo 4 was apparently Blizzard's best selling game ever.

If the customers don't care why should the company?

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[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 78 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My first job out of university.

Company is going through financial hardship. Boss cancels our collective insurance without telling us. Then the president of the company does a meeting in a shady motel reception room to announce to everyone the company isn't going well and we all need to take a 10% pay cut. Ends the PowerPoint presentation with a photo from our major client's ads with a lady on a beach with a laptop. President says "oh that's going to be me in a few weeks. I'll be going to Greece!"

The whole room just say there silent.

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[–] Skitburd@lemmy.world 70 points 1 year ago (1 children)

went to an international boarding school that had a very diverse spectrum of political beliefs

I was in the school's pride club, and my senior year this very charismatic kid, Ken, joined. Ken was an international student

we start our first meeting, and Ken is a vibrant member of the group. but he's saying some very... odd things. he's talking about how gay people are mentally ill and need to be helped, lotsa fun stuff

the club leader very patiently pushes back on him on this, and eventually asks "well it's not like any gay people are here now, right?"

... he didn't come back after that meeting

[–] mycatiskai@lemmy.one 33 points 1 year ago

He must have thought it was a nationalist pride group.

[–] sunbytes@lemmy.world 70 points 1 year ago (2 children)

One time the company big boss did a speech telling us how we could all learn a thing or two from his protégé, and clapped him on the shoulder.

If big boss had spent more time in the office, he'd have known that Mr Protégé spent most of his working hours playing ping-pong with Big Boss's trophy-wife.

[–] StThicket@reddthat.com 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)

So ping-pong is an euphemism for sex? Or was he literally playing ping-pong?

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

I just remembered the pattycake scene in Roger Rabbit.

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[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

You could argue that he wasn't wrong.

[–] Thisfox@sopuli.xyz 68 points 1 year ago (8 children)

An American comedian, following a long set here in Australia, told the audience to stand up and stretch. He then tried to direct us to "bend over and pat your neighbour on the fanny". Stone cold silence did not indicate to him his mistake, and he tried several times before eventually realising he had lost his audience goodwill entirely with this starting skit.

Turned out later that he had no clue what "fanny" means here, and had to have it explained to him.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Still a weird thing to say.

[–] Thisfox@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not as weird or rude as telling them to pat their neighbour on the vulva.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think "grope your neighbor" just falls under unacceptable dumbassery from a stand-up regardless.

Like, if the bit is making people refuse to do it, why keep trying when no one laughs?

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[–] balls_expert@lemmy.blahaj.zone 66 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

I thought I made people mad by ordering a curry chicken sandwich in a student-ran shop in college, but I hadn't paid attention to an announcement that was made at the end of the class and I accidentally interrupted the minute of silence for a terrorist attack that had happened a few days before

[–] tabris@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Similar situation, I was at an antiques shop with my parents, on November 11th, which here in the UK is a day of remembrance for people who died during WW1 and WW2. We're observing the moment of silence, when an American guy walks in, notices the silence and loudly exclaims "Wow, who died? It's like a mausoleum in here!" Someone, thankfully, took him to the side and quietly explained what was happening. He did apologise afterwards. I found the whole situation very funny.

[–] MadBob@feddit.nl 11 points 1 year ago

At least there's a concrete answer to his question!

[–] OddFed@feddit.de 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] balls_expert@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I got called "chicken curry" for years

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[–] Maddie@sh.itjust.works 53 points 1 year ago

Celebrities singing Imagine

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 52 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I worked at Cabela's when it was bought out by Bass Pro. The sale went into effect mid-September, and in October they announced that all Cabela's locations would be open on Thanksgiving for the first time ever and that ALL employees were required to be at work

On Thanksgiving day, when the employees who had their family time stripped away last minute were on the edge of revolt, the billionaire owner of Bass Pro made us print out and distribute an email he sent to all managers.

It was pictures of him and his family enjoying their Thanksgiving at his estate and a letter from him expressing how important it was to share the day with family and friends.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

That's so disgusting, I'm sorry you had to put up with that shithead

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 45 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Me. 19. In Ireland for a 2 hour layover to move onto Germany. I realize I can drink here. I go to the bar in the airport.

"What can I get you?"

"Can I get an Irish Car Bomb?"

Yeah... they didn't like that. I didn't know anything about the terrorism shit! 😩

[–] DrZoidbergYes@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm Irish and worked as a barman for over 10 years. I don't know what happened to cause an issue with you but neither myself or any other bartender I worked with ever gave a shit about someone ordering a carbomb. We just made them and judged you for ordering a terrible drink

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[–] ironhydroxide@partizle.com 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Plant manager sending out a site wide email saying that we're doing awesome, and we're desperately hiring so refer all your friends. One month after layoffs were announced, and those to be layed off still had a month to go.

[–] 13esq@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't know where you're from, but some countries/areas have laws against fire and rehire, it's a disgusting practice.

[–] ironhydroxide@partizle.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Give you one guess..... you won't need it.

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[–] li10@feddit.uk 41 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Not a specifically bad instance, but everywhere I’ve worked has always had that guy who has a hundred irrelevant questions at the end of a meeting, holding up 10 or so people from actually getting on with work.

[–] rabidpug@3t.au 15 points 1 year ago

I sit in business requirements meetings for enhancements to some software we use at work, and there’s a guy who feels the need to repeat everything everyone says in his own words (at least twice as many). The meetings used to be 30 mins but they had to extend them to an hour. And we have 2 a week.

Thanks to WFH it means I have 2 hours a week of guaranteed PlayStation time though, so I shouldn’t complain.

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[–] tipicaldik@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just yesterday we were at my wife's sister's house. They live in a brand-new house in a brand-new neighborhood. Some dingus was going around to every single house leaving flyers advertising a tree trimming service and reminding everyone that it's hurricane season. The thing is, their wasn't a single tree in the entire neighborhood that was bigger than a year-old sapling.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I recently got warned that someone was offering tree trimming services in my neighbourhood as a way to see which houses were worth stealing from.

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Man, I hope that was just some dude that got paid to pass out fliers.

[–] Tsubodai@programming.dev 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Working in a European country, went to someone's leaving party, to celebrate their career after 35+ years in the job. The manager is new, and flies in for the event specially. The whole room is speaking in their local language, the person's whole extended family is there.

The manager gets up and starts to make a speech, using a lot of English idioms. The speech started out with "35 years?! You get less for murder!". As a native English speaker, I thought that was actually pretty funny. The guys entire family - not so much.

[–] ScotinDub@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

That's a cracker. Going to remember that one

[–] grayman@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

Boss gets fired for blowing $15M on cloud platform per year for several years. New boss comes in and demands an audit. Turns out there's waste everywhere. New boss says reduce cost or else. New boss calls a meeting a month later to review cost savings plan. Platform owner proceeds to provide a presentation outlining how the platform costs will rise by 20% next year and at least 10% every year after for several years. Platform owner gets fired. Complains no one listens to him.

[–] MaxPow3r11@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

billionaires being extremely bold currently.

This is a wendys.

[–] Redditgee@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I thought that, too, but it turns out they have nothing to worry about. I think putting smartphones in everyone's face bought them a hundred years.

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[–] dsemy@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I worked a night shift at a lobby of some residential building, with another guy patrolling the building.

Some mentally unstable person wound up sitting at the lobby while the guy was on patrol (long story), so I sent him a message explaining the situation as I didn’t want to talk about it in front of the person.

The patrol guy comes back, looks at the person, looks at me and says “so, who’s the psycho?”

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[–] halloween_spookster@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

CEO decided to lay off a huge portion of the company. Then he had the nerve to have an all-hands saying that the company's financials were great and that they were on track to make $X billion in revenue in some years. Most off the laid off people were still in the fucking call.

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[–] plantedworld@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

I'm a physical therapist. I started as a physical therapist assistant. Way back in PTA school, our instructors brought in three people with spinal cord injuries for us to learn from. They talked about their experiences, showed us how they transfer, and one showed us his modified pickup truck that had hand controls and a crane to put his wheelchair in the back.

One of our classmates named Nancy had a habit of putting her foot in her mouth. She had absolutely zero filter. Our class guests were taking questions and one person asked about dating, in a respectful manner. Hearing about challenges related to normal stuff like that helps us to answer questions if we have a patient with a new spinal cord injury. One of the people said they had been with their gf for a few months and was talking about how they chose date activities and stuff. Pretty innocuous, nothing super personal.

Nancy makes a joke along the lines of "I'm surprised anyone would want to date someone like you," kind of chuckling as she said it. The guest speakers seemed to take it in stride but man everyone in the class was looking around clearly horrified.

[–] darreninthenet@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 year ago

Unity - "hold my beer"

[–] ttmrichter@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

For months at one place I worked senior developers and even junior managers had been haranguing the higher-ups with an alarm bell on how important the Internet was going to be and how we needed to start pivoting toward outfitting our product with the ability to interact properly on the Internet. We were steadfastly ignored and our concerns were quietly scoffed at because our product was a "best of breed" product in our space.

Then we got hit by a huge wave of lost sales because we had no viable scheme in place to proper interact with Internet-based applications.

The then-CEO called a "developers all-hands" meeting in which he pranced around on the stage at the front of the auditorium to complain to us that nobody had been telling him how important this Internet thing was going to be and that we were supposed to be keeping an eye on the leading edge of technology so he can make plans for these things.

This sparked a VERY LOUD outcry as about 150 software developers who'd been ignored and scoffed at for months just flipped a switch into revolution mode. Lots of people started talking loudly (then shouting). One guy with a laptop connected it to the big projector display and started scrolling through an email folder where he'd collected the notices warning about the importance of the Internet and management's (including the CEO's) condescending replies. By the end of that little skirmish the CEO was making a lame excuse that he was "joking" and was "taking our feedback very seriously" after 20 people (half of them very senior) just flatly quit in front of him and walked out of the auditorium.

That's probably the worst "read the fucking room, dude!" moment I ever saw.

[–] cman6@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Probably this guy on the TV programme Take Me Out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzyvLf0V3qs

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

I guess it depends on what someone means by "reading the room". I've been given the impression people expect the room to read the same universally, as if there was anything inherently perceivable about the situation. It's not for a lack of trying, but I'm always graded low on that skill, often by the same people who think I phrase something as being hostile just because of my wording when I never imply that. If I feel a certain way, I say so, and I don't dishonor people because they're not in the mood to feel the mood I feel.

That said, me walking around a flock of five dozen geese at a park and getting attacked by all of them because I didn't understand they hated my presence takes the cake.

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