Everyone within my earshot has to tell the truth.
Works with TV, radio. Any real time communication.
I think this should also work on myself
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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Asklemmy
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I would use this power to make a communist organization of my choice completely immune to infiltration
Imagine an America without COINTELPRO
God of Toilet Paper.
You might laugh, but I would own the world.
If you were in my favor, you would get the softest, never-chafing, cleanest single-wipe-clean TP ever. No matter what you ate, no matter how spicy, no matter how ill, you could be assured of pain-free, cooling, soothing, wipes. It would be beautiful. Rainbows and peace, no matter how violent the shit
Piss me off? Anything you choose to clean your backside with is then designated TP. I will clog all the toilets, all the plumbing, all the sewers. I can make it all gympie-gympie leaves, sandpaper, wax paper, or just vanish mid-wipe. No matter how much you wiped your already raw ass, there would still be more. I would be a scourge on the Earth, and all would have to bow down before me. You would love me. You would hate me.
He who controls the comfort of the sphincter, controls the world.
Power to make people have empathy.
super good luck. like the the chick from deadpool 2 I think or longshots if it always stayed on.
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Make billionaires turn inside out when they're on the same planet as me
If you don't specify a currency or a grade of inflation, this might kill far more people than expected.
1 billion Iranian Rial for instance is just about 23752 USD.
A couple of multi-millionaires would pay you to stop and then you'd implode.
Still a net win for everyone else though, I support this.
So, question: when the billionaire dies, does their wealth transfer according to local laws? So an entire lineage could instantly turn inside out, including bastard children on the fringes of inheritance, with only an estate tax to save them?
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It happens continuously and so fast its not perceptible
How pedantic do we get to be? Like, Iβd be fine with flying because I could just hover a millimeter from the ground instead of standing, I would think
My stepson asks all kinds of questions like this and highly scientific pedantry is my go-to move.
βTechnically if you were invisible, your retinas would stop working, so Iβd go with flight.β
Sometimes pedantry is beautiful
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This is pretty simple though right?
Healing factor - always-on healing.
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I would have the power to be naturally skilled at anything I do and having it always activated would be a bonus.
Jack of All Trades Activated
You are now naturally skilled at all tasks but will never be considered a master in any discipline
I'd take it. Truly mastering any single skill is almost certainly beyond my ability anyway.
I'm only okay at some things so being okay at all things is a total win.
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The ability to shapeshift doesn't really get affected by this caveat, so that remains about as appealing as it was before.
Taken to an extreme, one can get a controllable/turn-off-able biological immortality and at-will violation of conservation of matter/energy.
Being lucky all the time would be cool. The only time I can think it might be a hindrance would be at a casino because they'd think I'm cheating but I don't gamble so it doesn't matter I guess.
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Shapeshifting, I will take no questions
Shapeshifting for sure. Don't even need to be human, id totally try being an amorphous sentient blob for a bit. Joints cant hurt if you don't have joints!
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I'm always at a comfortable temperature no matter what.
If humanity finds out about that property of you, you might end up as some kind of human battery. If you can't be cooled down under any circumstances, one could use your body to heat up infinite amounts of water/air with heat pumps and use you to heat entire cities. Super useful for the rest of humanity but not exactly the life I'd like to live. :D
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Never becoming deaf and always having good hearing. I'm not sure I'd be able to enjoy life anymore if I became deaf, so just having good hearing would make the rest of my life worth living, without any major side effects I could think of.
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I would want the superpower of linguistics: the ability to fluently read, speak, and understand any language ever spoken or will be spoken.
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Shapeshifting. It's what I wanted anyway and I can always just be continuously toggling the length of my little toenail to be 1mm longer or shorter.
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Sixth sense/ Intuition
hmmmm, "plot armor" sounds nice to be always on.
Powers of a deity.
I'll take Mr. Manhattan's power set for 500, Alex. Oh yeah, its naked time.
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I'd chose telekinesis. Heck man i'm sick of having only 2 hands and i'm lazy. I'm ready to use it everytime.
a whole gallon of jizz every time i cum
You never stop coming
yes π
Kegel would hate you
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