this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
705 points (98.4% liked)

Not The Onion

12547 readers
1778 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

A Republican Congresswoman who has been “missing” for the past six months has finally been found.

Rep. Kay Granger has served as the representative for Texas’s 12th Congressional District since 1997.

However, she suddenly disappeared from the public eye around July this year, when she cast her final vote against an amendment to reduce the salary of Deputy Assistant Administrator for Pesticide Programs to $1.

A curious reporter at the local Dallas Express newspaper did some digging on Granger’s whereabouts and has finally been able to give her constituents some answers.
[...]

We then received a tip from a Granger constituent who shared that the Congresswoman has been residing at a local memory care and assisted living home for some time after having been found wandering lost and confused in her former Cultural District/West 7th neighborhood.

The Dallas Express team visited the facility to confirm whether Granger was residing there and to inquire about how she planned to vote on the spending bill. Upon arrival, two employees confirmed that Granger is indeed living at the facility.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] L0rdMathias@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 hours ago

Hmm I see. Her generation continues to be an utter fucking embarrassment when it comes to politics.

[–] Eddbopkins@lemmy.world 28 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Who's been doing her job since then? There is no way that can be legal. I'd bet the farm the same thing is happening to Mitch McConnell. No way that old bag of dust and bones is competent enough to do his job.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 21 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

The interns have been accepting all the bribes and spending it on beer.

[–] caboose2006@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

Heyheyhey! In America we call those "bribes" free speech for corporations. Bribes are illegal.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Don't tell mom ~~the babysitter's dead~~ the Congresswoman's senile

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 1 points 19 minutes ago

I’d watch this movie

[–] dariusj18@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

As a rep, her only job is to vote. She hires staff to carry out other responsibilities.

[–] TheObviousSolution@lemm.ee 3 points 2 hours ago

If only more GQP congresspersons were like her.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

Some presidential candidates ripen before the election. Its natural.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 47 points 12 hours ago

This seems like a pretty important job to not just shuffle the person doing it into an old folks home! Like come on!
Literally a limited number per state. Even an midmanager would get called for running out of PTO way before then.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 0 points 3 hours ago

Dont take amphetamines to fit into that old red dress

[–] moon@lemmy.cafe 13 points 11 hours ago

sounds like she's clearly just getting in touch with the local population

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 30 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (3 children)

Why not have a cut off age?

[–] rdrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Asking people with power to give up that power willingly almost never works, unfortunately.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 0 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Not asking, making it the rule

[–] OCATMBBL@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

But that's the problem - they make the rules and they're not going to make up rules to their own detriment.

Have we tried insisting firmly? Asking rhetorically because no we haven't

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 22 points 14 hours ago

That would put everyone voting for it out of a job.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] mhague@lemmy.world 29 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Is this what they mean by Reaganism?

[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 10 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

So? I'm MUCH Happier with my Tax Dollars going to HER Salary then to Feeding Starving American Children!

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Salaries for these folks is minuscule compared to expenses of War. Focus on what matters.

[–] ComradeMiao@lemmy.dbzer0.com 64 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

She’ll be the 2028 president

[–] Tja@programming.dev 45 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

She's a she. Doesn't have a chance.

[–] ComradeMiao@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago

Ooooooh, I like it! It's like The Truman Show, except way dumber.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 95 points 18 hours ago (5 children)

How the fuck does a Senator go missing for SIXTH FUCKING MONTHS and no one bothers looking for them.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 32 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)

Her aids were probably running the show for years. What happens with these congress critters is that they create a support network around themselves to do the real work while they campaign for the next election. It gets to the point that the congress member themselves becomes superfluous. If it goes on long enough, they fall into dementia, but the aids don't want to start over again with someone new, so they just tote their boss around from time to time like Weekend at Burnie's. It happened with Dianne Feinstein. It's probably happening with Mitch McConnell.

[–] Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Also with Trump, Regan... the list goes on.

Now that the election(and America) is over, I'm willing to openly agree with Biden being in mentally not there. Gerontocracy always lead to a decline in a nation.

If it's acceptable to have a minimum age to vote or hold office, it should also be acceptable to have a maximum age. Retired senior citizens shouldn't get to decide matters such as worker's rights or environmental issues.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

It’s ~~probably~~ definitely happening with Mitch McConnell.

ftfy

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

Probably, but I haven't heard much from him in a while. In my defense, he has done something terrible recently, a lot of terrible things have been happening. It's hard to keep track.

Not that the election is over, I'm also willing to throw Biden on the pile. More then a few times in the past few years, he's done things that remind of me of my old, conservative acquaintances. Biden pardoning the Kids for Cash asshole cemented that.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 51 points 17 hours ago

People from her office absolutely knew where she was, they just didn't bother telling anybody else.

[–] thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works 47 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

She is in Congress, not the Senate - so there’s a couple hundred more of them in general, and not all of them turn up to work every day.. so it’s not hard to lose one for 6 months and not notice.

Especially when they’re Republicans, since they do sweet fuck all most days anyway.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Find out who’s funding your current representative, and see if you can ass kiss even harder!

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Ewwww gross

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] thisNotMyName@lemmy.world 46 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Let's talk about that woman later. Wtf is going on in Texas?? "An amendment to reduce the salary of Deputy Assistant Administrator for Pesticide Programs to $1" what did that person do that they put that on the agenda? Why is it possible to set a salary that low?

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 20 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Realize that's she's a US house member, not a state legislature member. They were trying to defund the EPA in general by reducing salaries for individuals to $1 and it wasn't just Texas.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 13 points 12 hours ago

Which is funny, because both Texas and Oklahoma ignore the EPA anyway. The Oklahoma turnpike authority is trying to pollute Norman’s drinking water, and build a turnpike through land that endangered toads live on. They aren’t conducting any sort of environmental impact assessment, because Oklahoma gave them permission not to. Texas has probably hundreds, if not thousands, of improperly shut down oil wells which spew all kinds of pollution.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

From what I see his name was Jake Li and he was attempting to safeguard endangered species against pesticides. So... His position is now vacant. Guessing Texas couldn't stand for it

He/they released this, so maybe I would have to more digging to gain further understanding.

https://texasfarmbureau.org/epa-releases-final-endangered-species-herbicide-strategy/

Edit: it appears he was "brought in" to that position when Biden entered office, and he is moving to the Department of Interior's fish and wildlife division. I suspect that they knew the upcoming and current cuts to the EPA would thin them out and the Fish and Wildlife department is less likely to be gone after, as that's who you get your hunting/fishing etc licenses from. I imagine the establishment that gives out licenses to shoot animals for fun, isn't likely to be targeted by Republicans

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 253 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (18 children)

To be fair, dementia is not much of a hindrance for making GOP policies.

[–] Jericho_One@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

Texas GOP sees this as an absolute win

load more comments (17 replies)
[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 24 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Why the fuck is she still getting a paycheck?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Because she's in a hospital and that shits expensive in the US.

Hopefully your employer can't just fire you if you get sick?

[–] Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Pretty sure Congress members get universal single payer healthcare for life

Okay, spoke out of turn... They get insurance like any other gov employee... Their mostly just all on Medicare

[–] hactar42@lemmy.ml 104 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Imagine not showing up to your job for 6 months and people just going, "hmmm, I wonder where they are."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 143 points 22 hours ago (13 children)

Shouldn't something like that be reported when it happens? She's an elected official. Her seat has effectively been empty for at least six months now.

It's a small shit in the toilet-tub that is the current political state, but come on.

load more comments (13 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›