Ask Lemmy

1999, at the first Homelands festival in Winchester, SE of London.

She was Scottish and was there with a girlfriend. We were 4 guys from a different country, out for the night from our share-house.

We talked and I was nervous about how graceful, intelligent and demure I found her. Hung out and talked, went home our separate ways.

The next day I was at the Papillon bar-cafe with a friend and she came up out of the blue. She was distributing flyers for a gig, and placing some at the cafe. We talked and I was stunned and not confident again. Looking back, there was something there between us, but I did not initiate anything. We said goodbye with no numbers exchanged.

Out of all of London, we bumped into eachother and I didn't read the destiny flags that were hanging around us.

I am happy now in life, but I will never forget her, how she captured my interest and made me feel that weekend. I have no idea where she is now. I hope happy and fulfilled with whichever direction life has taken her over the past 25 years.

There was one friend who got away. She was single when we met through a common friend group,but she got together with one of my best friends. And while we were close, neither of us overstepped any boundaries. When she later ended that relationship she moved away for Uni. We hooked up a few times after that, but it was always more of a "drunken/desperate" hookup the day after - or that was what we, especially her, tried to tell ourselves,not wanting to risk our friendship.

I moved abroad, married (she was there), got a kid, couldn't be happier. She is successful,but I don't know more about her - she basically cut all contact after we met (for a normal coffee) and I had my kid with me...

Tbh, I still miss her a lot, especially as a friend, but sometimes I also wonder "what if".

I wish I could've been better for her. But, I couldn't and I guess if she's happier now I'm happy for her too.

Not sure where she is. She was smarter than me and never really got into the social media thing when it was starting and so nearly twenty years later, I've not been able to find a trace of her in terms of social media presence.

She was very much a hippie. But not in a run around barefoot with flowers in her hair doing LSD hippie. Just more in a sense of really down to earth and loved doing things like making soap, or being out in nature. Just really not materialistic at all. Which I appreciated at the time, but something happened, she misunderstood my reaction to it and left me with the belief that she was crazy. And maybe she was, but I should have handled it better and explained things to her in a way that could have kept us together. But that's life I guess.

Not one, just a lot of potential I didn't have the eyes to see at the time. I was a jackass who made up problems to stop people getting close, or made everything a dealbreaker, or held people up to standards even I couldn't maintain. Once I sorted through enough decent people to find someone just as toxic, I'd settle down for a bit.

Now I'm with myself and only myself, I was the one who got away.

My high school boyfriend who I fell in love with when I was 12. The trouble was he was 16, and then I was 14 and he was 18, and at the time I didn't understand what the problem was. We had a brief moment together when I was 14 and he 17, and nobody but the two of us has ever been so in love. Never felt anything like that in my life again, it was like a . But then I was too young and he got kicked out of his parents house and moved away. I caught up with him on Facebook by accident, and he was this lovely smart pleasant progressive person who loved Obama and Trudeau. I quit Facebook for a while and when I went back he was a Trump Qanon psycho despite being Canadian, albeit born in the US. It's like seeing someone catch leprosy or something. Like they had a brain infection and came out with a totally different personality. I am way more left than Obama and Trudeau, but he at least reasonably believed in progressive politics. Suddenly he was an antimasker making shitty comments about trans people. Obviously I ended up dodging a bullet because that's a no go for me, but I never felt such pure love in my life as I did for him and it hurt terribly to see him become this lunatic even if we weren't together.

Not at "one that got away story really " but... Middle school or early high school (I don't understand well your USA system), one girl asked me to be her bf (maybe as a joke idk), i did 180 and said bye, just wasn't into those things yet, only cared about watching Digimon and stuff. Typical nerd with thick glasses.

I always considered her physically unattractive but she was a sweet heart with everyone, soft spoken, her mom was a religion teacher at our school.

Anyways, next year, hormones were doing its job I guess, she looked the same ugly duckling for me, but she also... I dunno, like something was calling me towards her and I though many years later, even to this day "man, I should've said yes, even if it was a prank or a short thing".

She became the girlfriend of the only "jock" (for you Americans) of the class about 3 months after my "rejection".

Last time I saw her was at a high school reunion, and that was ten years ago. She had a couple of young kids and was married to a firefighter. I really liked the guy.

She didn’t really get away because I never went for her. She was my high school crush.

It feels nice, now, to think of her in encased in a nice situation. Their family looked healthy and happy. It’s nice, if one does get away, to see her with a good guy.

I had a huge crush on my god parent's (friends of the family, not actual family) daughter growing up. I asked her to marry me when I was, like, 8 (she was like 16 at the time iirc)? She got married years ago and I was actually wondering about how she's doing the other day; but I don't know how to contact her.

I saw her crossing the street (not at a crosswalk). Beautiful, confident, zero fucks given, I was immediately in love. I debated pulling over and seeing if I could go back and find her, but it happened too fast and there was no good road to turn onto. Oh well, even though she didn't have a collar, she probably already had a home...

The one that got away is currently posting this comment.

I've been a serial monogamist since I started dating (way back in middle school), and my major relationships have been 1.5 years, 5.5 years, 2 years, and my current relationship which is 8+. My "ones that got away" were actually people that I wish I had messed around with in a no-strings-attached sort of way when I happened to be single. Problem is that I was never single for very long. Should've seen that as a personal red flag at the time, but I lacked the maturity and clarity.

Anyways, it's not like an active desire I have. I'm really lucky - I'm married to a great guy, and I truly believe I've chosen an excellent life partner. Certainly the best fit for me from all the guys I've met. Just sometimes I wish I hadn't taken love and sex so seriously when I was younger, and tried to have more fun.

If any young person is reading this, get it out of your system! Anybody that's gonna judge you isn't worth your time. Just be smart and safe about it, but you've got your whole adult life to be serious.

There's more than one. I saw one of them lately, she's doing good. We talked and hugged. That felt good, a little closure.

Mostly I don't know since I am so bad with people and they stay the fuck away from me which, good for them.

There's some I really grieve for. The things I couldn't do. The things I was too bad at.

I hope all of them are better than I am.

I got her back about a year or two later. She's currently about 1m to my right, and now that 15 years have passed we share a house with four kids and two cats.

They all got away. I don't know how any of them turned out; because I disappeared and became lost.

there was this one girl I knew that we both kinda bonded over being outcasts, among other things. I didn't do anything cause I had untreated clinical anxiety and adhd, but that's unrelated. Anyway she stopped going to my school and there was also a girl in my neighborhood who got kidnapped, and I don't think those events involved the same girl, but rumor around the school was that it was, while I thought it was someone else. At this point, I don't even know if there's a way to answer that question

She was a he when I wanted him. Came out as transgender a few years after.

Cool gal, tho.

I'm in my 50's. I have had 3 that got away (2+ years living together). I get along with them famously. They are doing good-great, probably because we never got to life-partner stage. I'm not perfect by any means, so our non-matching characteristics, and my inability, then, to understand mutual acceptance then would have probably soured things long-term. Great memories and lived experiences. Nobody can take that from us.

My ex wife and mother of kids and I had 8 great years. 4 OK, and 4 crap years. We can barely communicate now.

TLD is still a Sony Supporter and that's all I need to say.

Last I know, she's living a successful life doing what she wanted to do. Good for her.

No idea and I want to keep it that way.

I honestly don't know much. She got away. All I know is she's part of a swing dance club in a distant town, from which I can conclude she isn't dead. So that's nice.

I dunno, she never had social media at the time and apparently still doesn't.

I've had maybe 6 people that got away who I could have had a better relationship with than most of the ones I already have had.

Thankfully one of them is still a good friend of mine, we just mesh well in behavior and understanding eachother. Unfortunately, it was a case of her being too reluctant to have taken a chance with me when I broke up with one of my exes some 14 or so years ago. Since then, she's been with someone new and while it's been going well. But we've talked at times about how we could've been if we were theoretically together.

And nothing feels worse than not only knowing you could've had them if they just spoke up, but knowing all this time later and not having a crack of a shot to try. It just sucks.