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A corn liquor. It tastes like corn? It tastes wonderful 1:2 with bourbon.
Jeppson’s malort. It tastes like grapefruit and diesel fuel. It’s passable watered down with as much Squirt as you have.
The fellas and I have a gaming weekend once a year. Someone always has Jeppson's on hand for punishment. Last year you could earn points for drawings every few hours and drinking a FULL shot of Jeppson's would always get you a bonus entry. The bottle never emptied after 3 days of 20+ lads, it's that bad.
Malort! Ill have another...
I keep this as well, almost exclusivly to torment friends and family. I feel like it tastes like a used wodden clog that somehow got turned into a drink. I dont think its that bad, but I do enjoy playing up its legend.
What if I have a lot of Squirt?
Then you’re in for a very passable Jeppson’s malort.
I have that - Nixta? My sister outlaw gave it to us for Thanksgiving. It smells like caramel corn. I tried it with bourbon, Tuaca, and lemon but the corn flavor was lost in there.
Malort starts off horrible and gets worse. I'm convinced that it's somehow undergoing chemical processes and decaying into more awful chemicals once it interacts with the inside of your mouth.
I bought it on my honeymoon and now I've got the absolute worst flavor I've ever willingly put in my mouth sense-associated with one of the best times on my life, so that's lots of fun.