this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
93 points (97.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27268 readers
2057 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The longer I know someone/the closer they are with me, the harder time I have acting like myself around them. It gives me anxiety trying to just act like a normal person, I’m suddenly monotone and so muted people can’t hear me.

My family, most longest/closest friends…it’s like they actually don’t know who I am. And my parents are getting older and I can’t act remotely happy or even awake around them. Been this way my whole life.

[–] Jtee@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sounds like you need some self love! Don't beat yourself up if you think someone isn't going to like you because you're goofy.

At the end of the day, the people you surround yourself with should be people who love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.

You're probably the most normal person in this thread lol

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Maybe I didn’t explain myself. The people I should be most comfortable around, i can’t bring myself to talk to them or be myself. But newer friends/girlfriends see me as however I am. But my family, long term partners and oldest friends? Just see me sanded down, zero personality. I feel like that’s the opposite of normal, from everything ive seen. It’s destroyed all of my long term relationships.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

Maybe it's sort of like an addiction to the honeymoon phase? When the excitement wears off, you equate it with the relationship dying. Just guessing.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

But my family, long term partners and oldest friends? Just see me sanded down, zero personality

I'm not sure I follow entirely. Is it possible you're calling the high of adrenaline/new relationship energy "the real you" and once that wears off you're not "yourself?"

Couldn't it be that you, like all people, are more outgoing at some times than others? And it's all the real you?

[–] Darkncoldbard@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Holy shit... is there a name for this?? I see myself in your comment

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

I wish. Because it’d help me get a therapist or help them help me. My old therapist, when I was trying to explain, “the closer I get to someone, the less I can be myself around them,” said something like, “that’s an oxymoron, isn’t it?”

Or it was some shitty, offhand comment like that and then just moved on. Though this is the same guy who, the last time I ever saw him, when I was explaining how sad I felt all the time, how I’d lost all my close friendships because I turned into a shut-in, said “well maybe youre just a melancholy guy.”

I was crying at the time. He never actually helped me with anything. Never pushed me to talk about anything at all except my day to day, like, nothing-important-happened stuff. Fuck that guy.

I do need to find a new therapist, though. I’ve put it off for too long.