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Everyone left in my department is amazing actually, so we go to each other because we all think differently, and yes sometimes my do everything different ways all the time approach really pays off. Work seems to think I do a good job but to me it feels more like occasional flashes of brilliance and longer stretches of slower work because I can't do anything I don't understand, have to see the whole picture first.
I am worried about OP, he put another post up about is it normal to care only about your romantic partner and no interest at all in anyone else.
Op sounds like they have some trauma they are working thru. They don’t sound violent tho. I hope they get some help
ADHD people work well in groups for the reason you described. Nobody has brilliant ideas all the time. A few bright flashes is all you can ask for.