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Hollywood keeps starting Peter Parker in high school because most reboots usually start with an origin story, which usually puts Peter in high school. I don't see Uncle Ben dying as likely if Peter was in college or working.
I also feel like part of the hallmark of Spider-Man is that, even with some experience, he is usually put into positions way over his or any age peer's head. The older Spider-Man is, the less likely that Spider-Man will be overwhelmed. Or, that kind of overwhelmed feeling can be better described by a different super hero.
Plus imagine a worn out 40 year old spider-man still pulling his punches after the 8th time fighting doc oc. "Man I am fuckin DONE with this shit!" One-punching through the back of his skull.
He could just be poor in the 2020s US. That's enough to put most people in situations that overwhelm at any age.