this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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Why modify it? .... a good hard crusty baguette is deadly enough. If you crack it just right, the sharp edges are hard enough to cut open skin and flesh.
I know a guy that nearly lost its thumb because of a baguette. A piece of the crust stuck under its nail. He didn't paid attention at first, but it begins to become infected and necrotic. Ended up in the hospital for surgery and antibiotics.
Never underestimate the baguette.
A baguette becomes a lethal blunt instrument about 7 seconds after you buy it.
"The food here is..."
THWACK THWACK THWACK
"...weapons-grade."
Shit, you get one with a good enough crust and it'll club a motherfucker into the ground like a fence post.
Take two baguettes. Cut one in half and carve a slot inside of it. Carve the other with a protrusion in the form of a knife to go into the slot. Harden in the oven while using garlic butter with fine herbs to create a razor edge. Sharpen with a whetstone.
Then you can not only stab cops but soften it up in soup and eat the evidence.
mmmmm ... radicalization and violence never sounded so delicious
Cop gets stabbed in the arm .... 'OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN STABBED ... ???? .... ooooo, garlic butter!'
So you can dual wield.
Baguette.
Breaguette knife.
Akimbo