Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
The streak of white in my beard?
The fact that 75% of my media consumption is things I've already seen before?
I can maintain eye contact in a conversation and at no point do I want to fuck/fight the other person nor do I believe they want to fuck/fight me?
I can maintain friendships with people who do not share all of my views on things, with a select view even having opposing views?
Comfort wins over style every time, with zero exceptions?
I'm confused by the fuck/fight portion. Is it normal to want to fuck or fight every person who maintains eye contact? Have I been unknowingly threatening/coming into all of my work colleagues?
There's a difference between respectlfully attentive eye contact (flits to other things occasionally, but refocuses), fighting eye contact (straight staring, tense facial expression), flirting eye contact (flits between eyes and lips, soft facial expression), and autistic eye contact (direct and unwavering eye contact that drills into your soul for seemingly no reason).
Most likely, everyone just knows (at least implicitly) that you are autistic.
A lot of Zoomer/Alphagens have said in surveys that the perceive prolonged or maintained eye contact in a conversation as a sign of aggression or attraction. I was using hyperbolic language for brevity.
Oh no. I worked so hard to be able to maintain eye contact in conversations (autistic) and now I'm questioning it.
Its almost like neurotypicals just think they know what 'normal' body language is, when in actuality they all disagree about almost all of it, each have their own plethora of weird quirks and ideas, and its just that they assume their standard is correct, because they hardly ever consciously, actively think about or analyze body language.
Personally, maintaining eye contact during a conversation shows me that you're actively paying attention and processing what I'm saying. I mean you might not actually be doing that, but I at least feel you are. And it's a good sign. When I have some Alpha at work explain that bit about how their generation views that level of eye contact I audibly scoffed.
Yeah thats big 'old man yells at clouds' vibes.
Its not me that could be wrong, no, its the children.
Kids have different body language norms than me?
Pff, that's stupid, my illogical feelings and inaccurate, non-universal heuristics are what's important here.
I'm turning 50 soon, and almost all of this hits close to home. Almost all. My media consumption is as it's always been: new books all the time. But also no TV, and I know all about a given movie from reading a few reviews, not actually watching it.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a good read every now and again, but when I discovered indie films as a teenager I was hooked. Not to mention I was a classic "nerd" who liked comic books, Farscape, and BSG at a time before liking those things hit the mainstream.
Why is every sentence a question? This comes off as defensive.
It's more of a take your pick as to which of those is my "old" trait.