Futurology

In other news, the world's wealthiest people are running out of money after burning through the entire planet. Sources say one of the world's multi-billionaires purchased a law firm that was in bed with the RIAA roughly 10-15 years ago when music piracy was supposedly costing more money than the GDP of all the peoples of the world, combined. "The Owners" (as they have recently rebranded) have decided to collect on this unpaid debt from every living soul, and from all the multinational companies who have been long-established as having no living souls whatsoever. A nameless, faceless, pitiless representative was quoted as saying: "Resistance... is futile. Your life, as it has been, is over. From this time forward, you will service... us."