this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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[–] bi_tux@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago (5 children)
[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hi Trans, I'm Dad!

[–] 768@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago

There'll be loved ones to tell someday.

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Well I love you and I'm proud of you for being you (=

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Well that’s a shame. They oughta be folks you can be yourself around

[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 year ago

Mom here. I'm proud of you. 💖

[–] Triple_B@lemmy.zip 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your drinking is ruining our relationship, and your relationships with your grandkids.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have a good relationship with my dad now but that wasn't always the case. It's too long a story for this comment but I've confronted him a few times over the years about various things. On one such occasion, he said something to the effect of, "Why don't my kids ever want anything to do with me?"

I said, " I love you Dad, but you're an angry dick about everything and you always have been. Would you want to spend time with your dad if he was like that?" His dad was exactly like that. He didn't say anything but I knew I struck a nerve. He's worked on himself a lot and is a much, much better grandpa than he was a father.

I don't know your situation and you can't change your family members behavior. That's on them. But sometimes it's ok to let them know what their behavior is doing to everyone else around them. They may not understand that. And if they do and just don't care, then they'll have to deal with the consequences.

[–] Triple_B@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 year ago

That's great advice, thank you. I'll have to relay it to my sister since she's the one actually dealing with it since I moved out of state like 20 years ago and rarely go home. Maybe we'll have to gang up on him/have an intervention. It's just hard to catch his ass sober.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I could tell them I get wasted every Friday and no one would bat an eye...but my mom would have a heart attack if she found out I've ever been in the same room with marijuana. I'm in my 30s. Some things are better left as secrets

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Dellyjonut@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

The ironic part is that her favorite relative outside of our immediate family is my cousin who I learned - to no surprise of my own - smokes a TON of weed.

I have no reason to hide it from my dad but...what's the point? Even if he doesn't tell my mom, we're not gonna share a joint or anything

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I can’t feel empathy and the only reason why I am sad when you are sad is because I’ve learned that faking it makes you happier.

[–] Fleur__@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (4 children)

So you do something for no reason for the benefit of someone who is suffering while you are not suffering? How empathetic lmao

[–] GreenMario@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Wouldn't that just be sympathy?

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[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's exactly what I thought.. it's just empathy with extra steps?

[–] p5f20w18k@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Manual empathy

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 28 points 1 year ago

"hit me up on Grindr for some good bussy."

[–] SaberKazd@sopuli.xyz 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I tried to kill myself. Twice. I would either have to deal with my old man's shit or break my mom's heart, neither of which I could tolerate.

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[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago

That I'm not doing as well as I thought I might be doing.

[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They're buried at 51° 23' 3.0372'' N 2° 21' 47.9916'' W

[–] MicrosoftSam@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Should someone look into this?

[–] olicvb@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago

eh it leads to the middle of Gay st., Bath UK. So likely troll location like when people point to the white house in similar context.

spoileror maybe that's what they want you to believe. Dun Dun DUNNNN!!

[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Nah, I just told the family that Hammy had to go and live on a farm :(

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[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am choosing between living with them and homelessness. Otherwise, I would be anywhere else.

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[–] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago

Nice try, Honey!

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One specific family member, hope that's okay. But I could never tell my mom about when I was molested on a work trip with her ex-partners company. One of the families took in troubled boys and I woke up in the cabin with him in my bed. Hands in my clothes and drunk as hell. I beat him so bad. One of the other actual children of employees woke up and helped pull me off him and got him out of there. We never talked about it. I don't know what he(the helper) knew at the time. What I do know is if I ever tell my mother this she will drive and she will one hundred percent kill the people who brought that monster into my life. And I love her too much to put her through that (both having to hear it, and the murder, and the subsequent jail time).

[–] MaroonMage@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That sounds terrible. I hope you are doing ok now.

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

It was, but I am actually doing really well now, generally. Stable and supportive partner. Love and joy on the daily!

Have some health issues but I feel like who doesn't these days? It does make having friends a struggle but I have a lot of.. acquaintances and small relationships can be fulfilling, in their own way.

Generally great relationships with my family, minus several humans who have been downgraded to biological associates.

On the whole pretty excellent and like to think I'm doing as well for those around me as I can despite my limitations.

Sorry, unsuspecting victims, for the wall of text, the word vomit needed out, I suppose.

[–] skybreaker@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I don't want to be around you.

I wouldn't tell my loved one that because I DO want to be around her.

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The skin you have in your lips is the same type of skin in your butthole. You are welcome

[–] rostby@lemmy.fmhy.net 8 points 1 year ago

That’s why they’re so chapped then

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

You're all annoying, some a lot more than others.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Swear words. (Young kids around)

Edit: mi spelin knough gud

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[–] plz1@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I'll likely retire before my parents, aunts and uncles. I won't tell them, I"ll just stop working and if they ask, I will say I'm an investment manager. Boomers and Gen X were shit with their finances, I guess.

[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My girlfriend wants to marry me and it's breaking my heart.

[–] Voltage808s@kerala.party 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because I'm already married in a poly relationship.

[–] Voltage808s@kerala.party 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait so you girlfriend does not know it's a poly relationship?

[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No, she does. She's just going through a hard relationship moment on her end at this time.

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Okay, so my partner is just recently divorced from his years-estranged wife. He does not know if he wants to get married again, but I do. In loving him and being loved by him I found the reason people would want to tie their lives so fully with another's. You are theirs and they are yours.

This bothered me for a long time, and I promise I'm coming to something (that I think might be) relevant to your situation.

I read a book.. where the crawdads sing? I'm pretty sure. Anyhow a line in the book rang true with me, "we are married like wolves and geese are married" and I love that so much.

So, while you cannot marry her in a legal sense, you can be romantic as fuck.

Also! Just thought of this while typing. Do a commitment ceremony, nothing legal obviously but maybe do a cool cultural marriage ceremony like jumping over a broom around a fire or any of the myriad other marriage ceremonies other cultures use.

Anyhow I'm sorry she's having a hard time and I wish you and yours (and theirs (= ) all the very best. I can imagine a poly relationship could be difficult at times but it sounds like you're doing all the right things.

Stay awesome!

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[–] Transcendant@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm genuinely struggling to think of anything. I don't have a lot of loved ones but define them with the criteria "I can be my true self around them".

I have definitely lost loved ones because they couldn't come to terms with who I am (pansexual). Many people hate you for being bi, let alone pan. My sympathies to all those who have to hide, have been there. I've lived in rough places where I couldn't even allow a smidgeon of my true self to emerge, and it kills the soul.

[–] Nibodhika@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don't mean to be offensive, but what is the difference between bi and pan? It always seemed a meaningless term because bi already covers basically everything.

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[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Any one of you could die today and I may not even find out, and most likely won't care.

I should clarify that I can't tell my loved ones this because it's not true. No offense, but I don't know you and don't expect you to feel any different about me.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don’t think I care for a significant portion of y’all.

Like on the whole you’re fine, but you’re no my loved ones ya know

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[–] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

"I'm not interested in entertaining your whacky mentally Ill monkey bullshit. I don't care what shakespearean sob story you've spun for yourself to justify your poor self control. You are a grown ass adult, stop using a few traumatic life events that happened decades ago to excuse your current shitty actions.

My immediate loved ones are the only people I really really really try to have empathy for and forgive them for their poor self control and lack of trying to even consider improving themselves. Everyone else who tries to spin me their sob story for why they act like pieces of shit can get bent.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I love you but being close to you is not good for my mental health and I am struggling through life right now and cannot spare the time or energy for your drama or mental illness.

[–] JewGoblin@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I don't drink sugar in my coffee anymore

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