Dafuq is a smartbed
this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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A bed that went to school... duh 🙄
You're thinking of an "educated bed."
You know when youre trying to get to sleep, but you're worried that maybe your smart home, tv, fridge, watch, phone, etc. may not be collecting enough data about you at that present moment?
Oh I have the Withings Sleep Analyser for that
It's 2025 and people are jailbreaking their beds. 
dear creator(s)
please let the citizens of the USA win a crippling class action lawsuit against Amazon it would be so fucking funny
I ask this in the name of whichever holy figure is the correct one
amen/inshallah/namaste etc.
(I'm an atheist, but I guess it can't hurt to try)
It's just the price of progress, I'm afraid. For example, it's absolutely critical that my toaster be networked with my breadbox at all times, so it knows when to order more bread delivered to me. It'll be sad if one of them gets bricked, but I can always just buy another $800-breadbox. It's a small price to pay to not have to notice when I'm low on bread and go buy more, like some kind of ancient Sumerian laborer.
Hilarious, who in their right mind would buy an internet-connected bed?
Archive link in case anyone wants.
I’m glad that my mattress, which has the same level of technology as my pillow, cannot get on the internet.
Let alone requires a monthly subscription fee
My bed is way to important to me. NO electronics and never ever under any circumstances connected to "the cloud". (Amazon cloud 1000 fold so)
AWS is a national security threst
So is it now just a ...bed?
Sorry for the convenience
How will Amazon know what "activities" I get up to without their spy-bed?
Alexa has really fucking good microphones