this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2025
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And for my next trick: how to cook salmon in your dishwasher.
I was waiting for someone to post this. Why anyone thought this was a good idea is beyond me.
You now have two things with this method:
-
Trace amounts of dishwasher chemicals in your fish
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A dishwasher that smells like fish. A fishwasher if you will
If it's a tight package (heh) then neither should happen. And you'd wash your plates and utensils you used to eat the salmon with anyway.
I'd guess the idea is some sort of multitasking thing, maybe to save energy? Pretty wacky idea nonetheless
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further evidence in support of my policy of not taking cooking advice from people who advocate for putting food on paper towels
I'm a bad cook. Why should I not do that?
my understanding is that most kinds of paper towels are not food safe, and can contain bleaching agents, formaldehyde, and other such things. i’ve yet to find a great drop in replacement for them though. so i’ve just been avoiding/altering recipes that ask for them.
There are recipes asking for paper towels?
How else do you microwave a hot dog?
I... don't?
I'm more of a grill or pan-fry person when it comes to sausages.
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You could probably just use some unbleached linen or cheese cloth, aka a non-decorative towel, since that is the reusable material that paper towels replaced in our modern disposable society.
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Wrapping corn in a damp paper towel and throwing it in the microwave for five minutes is so much easier than boiling it in a big pot for 20 minutes.
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Yet another out of touch rich guy that thinks we can afford salmon
Salmon near me is $8 per pound on a good sale (9-10 is more frequent), so a 6 ounce portion is $3ish. A lemon for 80 cents, a bag of frozen mixed vegetables, 2 portions of salmon, and an ounce of butter, and dinner is $10.
I would add rice, and then probably get a pound and a quarter of salmon to have some to make leftovers into onigiri, then it's lunch the next day too, but the cost goes up.
It's possible $10 is out of reach, or you live in a much more expensive area. Apologies if either of those applies to you, but this seems to be an approachable option.
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American Catholics in 1960: "We eat fish every Friday during Lent to represent the poverty of our forefathers long ago. The ancient peoples who could subsist on nothing else pulled great bounties from the Mediterranean. It sustained civilization in that humble way for centuries and today we remember our simple origins."
American Catholics in 2020: "Fish for dinner? What are we, made out of money? Have a hamburger instead. No, I will not think for one single second about the sociological or ecological ramifications of this decision."
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I've been: Lucky enough to get salmon from the FoodBank every other month or so. This just sounds like lazy writer cooking to me. Which I aspire to be.
If people can't afford salmon, they should probably get acquainted with the relatively inexpensive cost of glass bottles and gasoline.
Look for farm raised atlantic salmon. Fish caught in the wild is way more expensive.
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What the hell is with the culinary advice in this thread, do you people not own stoves?
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The lazy way to cook salmon I know is to wrap it in foil and bake it in the oven for a bit. Wrapping it means that there is no surface browning and I imagine it cooks very similarly to microwaving. It's not like meat or bread where you want to sear the outside, or sauce or soup where a longer cooking time imparts a deeper flavour - raw salmon is tasty after all.
I haven't tried it, but I also suspect everyone horrified by this also hasn't tried it, and it seems like it would work just fine. Microwaving fish is such a meme at this point that I think there's a short circuit in people's brains where they think it magically ruins food and creates a smell that would not be created by heating it equivalently using some other method.
So does anyone know for a fact whether this is terrible?
The salmon will be fine, pretty much the same as steam-cooking it. Just put some spices and a lot of lemon so it would not be bland.
The microwave, on the other hand, will gain a subtle and mysterious fish aroma, that will only become stronger with the passage of time.
Just have it for lunch at work.
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Just buy some warm smoked salmon and eat it as it is. Add some of that lemon you mentioned.
Cold smoked salmon > warm smoked salmon
Add cream cheese, dill, and capers, put all on either a toasted bagel half or slice of sourdough. 11/10
Cold smoked salmon is a completely different thing. Both are good (usually) but the warm smoked is much closer to this microwave thing he is describing (which is still better than dishwasher salmon!).
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waste of good salmon that.
Wasn't he supposed to be off drugs?
been a salmon fan ever since I moved to the pacific northwest. we get amazing salmon here.
aloha spice company seafood rub on fresh or thawed frozen, in a metal pan on the stovetop. it'll take 8 minutes from cold to done, so start some rice (long grain works especially well with this palette) and brussel sprouts broccoli green beans or asparagus a bit ahead. finish with a tiny bit of soy sauce to taste.
if you're feeling fancy, a ginger and garlic green beans works especially well with the savory umami of the salmon.
I adore, nearly worship King. But goddamn bro... just... naw...
for a second i thought that "garlic green beans" were a real thing and got excited.
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Yeah I used to do this with low budget frozen fishies when I was in college pulling long hours.
I've never done this, I know nothing about cooking. What's the result?
Worse than just frying it for 3 minutes which takes the same amount of effort.
You're not selling this to me because, as someone with no attention span, I can NOT relate to the notion of "frying X takes the same effort than microwaving X".
Microwaving:
- Season and wrap
- Put on plate
- Place in microwave
- Microwave it for 3 minutes
- Eat
Frying:
- Season
- Put pan on stove and add butter/oil
- Heat the pan
- Add the fish and fry for 3 minutes
- Eat
If you can microwave stuff you can also fry stuff, cooking is just following steps and practice.
You're forgetting "where is that pan, no that one, the other one", "which oil to use, not that one", "gotta watch that pan for three minutes so it doesn't burn and I don't forget", "now i have a pan, a plate and a stove to clean" vs. "i'mma do some other shit until i hear the microwave go bing" and "rinse plate".
I feel like that's largely a habit thing. I never cook using the microwave, I would have to spend a lot of time looking up shit to cook something decent. But I cook meals from scratch most days and I know exactly which ingredients to use, where things are, and how to cook a dish quickly and effeciently.
I often cook while I listen to podcasts, which strangely enough helps me focus on the mechanical tasks since I am not distracted - or rather, only distracted by the podcast. That works well for the dishes I know by heart, but if it's something new where i need to check a recipe I have to force myself to concentrate as well :)
Good luck however you feel like feeding yourself!
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Something that looks and smells like a microwaved fish. Wouldn't recommend. Salmon fried crispy is delicious.
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