this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2025
278 points (95.1% liked)

Ask Lemmy

34803 readers
1040 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Any time I go to a large city im exhausted by being charged for doing anything. How do people have fun if theyre poor(the neat part, you dont, probably). And to make it worse many of them probably have a 1 bedroom apartment so its not like you can sit in there all day long (at least i cant).

I realize im still spending money by being in my house out of town, but still, at least things I buy are owned by me, and im not paying someone else every time I want to do anything. If I want to stay at home all day I have tons of stuff to occupy my mind without going nuts.

I figure 98% of lemmy users live in big cities so id like to hear this perspective!

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] baconmonsta@piefed.social 1 points 3 hours ago

If you're a musician, look for open mics / open jams and try to make friends in the scene. Musician-organized diy events are cheap and fun. Especially punk events are cheap.
If you're interested in art, look for local diy group exhibitions and performances and ask if you can volunteer for support.
If you're into hacking/diy look for local repair cafes and ask to volunteer.
If you're into rpg go hang out in local game shops and find a group to play with.
It really depends on what you consider fun!

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 hours ago

When you live in a big city you learn where you can spend time on the cheap. Look for libraries, beaches, parks.

If you find the right Cafe/bar/tavern, be kind and tip well a couple times and they won't get sore if you nurse a pint while grinding out the last hundred pages of Dune.

[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 12 points 15 hours ago
[–] golden_zealot@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Crack. The trick is you forget you spent the money in the first place.

[–] iii@mander.xyz 9 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

The ducks in my local park are free

[–] HatchetHaro@pawb.social 9 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

if you already own an apartment in a city, the chances are that you'd grow used to the space and you'd feel at home, and anything lacking is made up for with closer proximity and easier access to stores and public facilities.

i live in hong kong, one of the densest cities in the world, and i'm able to live comfortably. there's very little noise where i live because it's in a less urban area, i get a fantastic view of and immediate access to a riverside park, a mall full of great food and boba just a 15-minute walk away, a library and a big transit hub just a short bus ride away, and from that transit hub, very cheap access to all of hong kong for museum visits, sightseeing, hella hiking and biking trails, exhibitions, etc.

i've also lived in berlin for a bit. it was also in a less urban area, in a very tiny apartment, and i was still fine because i had very similar access to amenities. short walk for groceries and transit, access to museums and parks, loads of architecture to admire, and hella döner.

if you've only experienced cities in north america... i'm sorry.

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

I spend a lot of time in my workshop. It's not free but upcycling materials into something new is infinitely satisfying and often saves money.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 17 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Walk. Just like I would hike when I lived rurally, walk. There are trails along the River and through the woods, even in the middle of town. But there’s also sidewalks. A town common. Parks. Several playgrounds have pickup basketball if your knees are better than mine, or there’s a track within an easy walk for some more regimented exercise. Our favorite activity starting during Covid is to walk around our city, seeing the sights. It was a great chance to talk with my kids for hours, before they went off to college. And yes we played Pokémon go as something to do while walking (and a game like that is much better in cities), and met several groups of people that way. If that game is too nerdy or childish, there are apps that gamify walking in various ways. If you’re willing to spend a little, sometimes we would stop at a convenience store for a soda or something, but not always.

When I lived in the major city, it was the same only much more. Every weekend had a festival (free). Every weekend had a band playing somewhere outside free. Every weekend had some big free event at multiple parks. Every Wednesday was free museums. Walking the waterfront is really cool and entirely free. Tourist areas sometimes have street entertainers, free. My city is very walkable and has many colleges: every weekend had some event at some college. My city has a lot of history and tourism, organized as a free “trail” and with most historic things free. There are things like a sailing ship that is free to see: you would have to pay for the museum and gift shop but why would you? Read the historic plaques. If a building or something looks historic, look it up.

For a relatively small amount of money, one of my favorite activities was the farmers market: it was huge and cheap (although I haven’t been in many years). Sometimes I just wanted to walk around and see everything (that shopping is selling whole goats?), or I could buy a week’s worth of veggies fresh from the farm for pennies on the dollar. And connect that back to food prep: when I didn’t have much money or time, I’d take all Saturday, goto the farmers market, come back and put together a giant salad for the week, a pasta salad for the week, maybe marinate some meat in some ingredients I bought- basically get half my cooking and shopping out of the way, dirt cheap

For a relatively small amount of money, much cheaper than operating a car, I usually had a subway pass. The core of that major city is very walkable, but the pass opened the entire city by just hopping on a convenient train without having to think about spending in the moment.

As far as staying in the small apartment goes, being in an urban area means gigabit fiber, which I guess a lot of people still don’t have. Being a first class citizen online is priceless and opens a lot of free (after your internet bill) activities involving sitting at your desk

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 8 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

What is this magical city? I’m not being snarky, I promise

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

If they use the term "Town Common", probably somewhere in New England. Guessing Boston.

Edit: Saw OP already replied and confirmed Boston.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Boston. I admit not all cities are created equal and I’ve been to a few where I couldn’t find anything of interest but there are also many cities, even in the us, that are quite walkable, have excellent amenities, and convenient transit. I’d put nyc, San Francisco, Seattle, Philadelphia and dc in the same category and each is surrounded by excellent small cities; Buffalo, Camden and Detroit not. Austin and Miami have potential but the weather is horrible (I’ll take snow over heat and humidity any day). I really need to visit more cities

Boston has “the emerald necklace”, a chain of award-winning urban parks: one end is the Common and public garden, while the other end is a huge park that includes an arboretum and do they still have a zoo? Boston has tons of history, and the “freedom trail” is a self-guided walk through the city connecting them all. The tall ship uss constitution, the worlds. oldest commissioned warship, yes, officially this is still a us warship and could conceptually sail to Venezuela and protect us from fishermen. It’s absolutely free to tour as are many of the historic buildings.

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 2 points 22 hours ago

Cool! I liked Boston when I visited, but I’m the opposite of you weather-wise. I really need to find a progressive place with warm weather. SoCal comes to mind, but $$$

[–] mbp@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 19 hours ago

I was gonna guess Portland/Seattle but Boston also makes sense lol.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I watch tv with my friends once a week 😎

[–] jaschen306@sh.itjust.works 1 points 14 hours ago

I'm an Uber nerd andI learn to pirate content. Yes you still need an internet connection and a computer or phone but I can spend days trying to figure out how to install Graphene on my old phone or do something fun or crazy for my home assistant.

Btw, I'm not poor. I just enjoy doing these things.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

Thrifting can cost money if you buy things, but walking around is free. Bigger city = more thrift stores.

Similarly, I love walking having access to ethnic grocery stores. Spices are cheaper, you have access to organ meats, etc… that are also cheaper. It’s fun to walk into a Filipino or Korean grocery store, do a little research and try to cook something with ingredients I’ve never tried before.

My tiny apartment is on a busy street so it’s also fun to do a little people watching. If I walk to the gas station to get a soda ( <10 minutes) I get to see a ton of activity any time of day.

Festivals are pretty frequent and fun to walk around even if I don’t spend anything. I live near a university as well so there’s always stuff going on.

I’ve lived in a rural area before and couldn’t stand it. Absolutely nothing to do other than go walk around Walmart.

[–] Nibodhika@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I would like to kick this back to you, what do you do outside of a big city that is free?

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago

Depends on the season. I hunt, fish, garden, and forage in the forest. Sometimes, like this morning, I sit outside and watch the leaves turn pretty colors and fall on the ground. Or I stay up late and watch the Northern Lights if it's clear enough. Or I can watch a thunderstorm or blizzard roll across the lake. Right now I'm smoking bacon for the winter. I have the last pork belly curing to smoke Sunday and then it's on to the pork loins for Canadian style bacon.

I don't need to go to movies, plays, fancy restaurants, or crowds of people. Give me a good pocket knife and a stick to whittle and I can be content with life. But this isn't for everyone. Not everyone can be comfortable enough with themselves to choose the solitude of a remote rural life. And youth almost always craves excitement over peacefulness.

[–] bassad@jlai.lu 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

In rural protected areas : outdoor activities like hiking biking climbing picking edible stuffs in the forests.

In small cities : not much.

In rural crops area : dying from pesticides at 50.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

Many cities have excellent hiking and biking opportunities. The trails are usually easier, the scenery different, but you probably don’t want to eat stuff you find

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Hathaway@lemmy.zip 5 points 22 hours ago

I don’t live in a big city. But, disc golf generally isn’t expensive to get into. Really fun. If you can get around a bit to courses.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When I was a student with a small budget in an expensive city:

  • Basketball, softball, flag football, soccer, kickball, bocce, volleyball (free for pickup games, very cheap for organized leagues)
  • Picnics/cookouts at the park with friends (same price as eating and drinking at home)
  • Lifting weights and other fitness-oriented exercise at an indoor gym (relatively affordable monthly fees)
  • Museums (cheap/free access for students, some memberships can be a good deal if you're going regularly)
  • Volunteering (free, easy way to meet and socialize with people)
  • Live events. Sure, an NFL game or a Taylor Swift concert isn't going to be cheap, but the thing with big cities is that there are literally dozens of small music venues, semi-pro sports leagues, comedy venues, theaters, etc., putting on small shows for less than $10/person (or maybe $20-30 after buying a few drinks at the venue). Some things are free, like plays or movies or concerts in the park.
  • Festivals. There are always street or art festivals going down in big cities.

I'm not a musician or artist but I know plenty of people who get together to play music with friends, or do creative things together.

And even now that I have money I still do plenty of the cheap/free things in my city, and I donate a lot to the libraries and museums and park cleanup/beautification nonprofits around me in large part because those are great public spaces worth supporting.

[–] orgrinrt@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah, it’s hard if the budget is literally zero, but if not, students get affordable monthly tickets to public transports at least around here, so that already makes it very possible to get around on the cheap. It’s not expensive to start with, at least anywhere where I’ve ever been to, as a local or as a tourist, so only in very extreme cases would that be a problem. Even then, asking around one can get lucky and get a used bike on the cheap, or for free from a relative or a friend. Depending on the city, the bike can be faster and more convenient, even, than public transport.

Once you can get around, a city turns into a treasure trove of possibilities and activities. Sure, there are expensive options, but also a huge variety of free or cheap options too! The toughest part is daring to go. It takes some bravery, especially if doing something or going somewhere for the first time, but it always gets easier and easier once you get through those first hurdles.

Edit: To add, there are almost always interesting places to spend a day in just outside the city proper. Or even a bit farther away, but still along the public transport routes or bike’s reach. Where I live, we have some public apple orchards for example, one can make a day out of going to pick a basketful of apples and having a picnic. In the winter there are fun slopes on some smaller hills that have publicly maintained slopes to go sledging in, make it a day with some hot chocolate and friends! Some smaller museums outside the city center are very affordable and can have quirky subjects and presentations. Even just biking or walking to some lake or park can be great, take some acoustic instruments or a boombox or something, sit around and chill, alone or with friends!

For things to do alone, at least in my city, we have public outdoor gyms spread around. Some of the farther ones don’t get much use, so I can usually be alone there when I go, it’s very zen especially in autumn when it’s a bit chilly. Local coffee shops and some bars have free exhibitions of local artists usually, same for libraries. Sometimes you can get lucky and have impromptu live music too, with no additional costs! Smaller local bands have very affordable tickets too, usually less than a pint. And if you’re a student, at least most places I’ve ever been to, you can get drinks on the cheap, if you’re not too picky about your vices.

This is all not even mentioning things like tabletop game groups that gather just for the fun of it, no cost. People bring games and you play, no need to own any yourself. Usually it’s coffee shops or bars, so there might be costs from the aux things like drinks, but you can participate with just water, who cares? Often these are advertised in said coffee shops with some printed paper on a wall, or maybe the various boards across the city and markets and whatnot that have adverts/notices etc.

The toughest thing, all in all, is daring to go. It really is the hardest part to be brave enough to go and do stuff. It’s not easy for anyone, but once you dare the one time, it gets easier from there, and gets fun very fast!

[–] tyler@programming.dev 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

use the library. I don't mean go to the library, I mean use it for free things. for example I can go to like 20 different museums for free through my library. disc golf is free at almost every disc golf course on the planet. parks are free, walks are free. bouldering is free. There's a ton. it's all about your imagination.

[–] orgrinrt@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

And in some part, the bravery it takes to go somewhere for the first time. It’s always going to be easier the second time, but the first time is always the hardest and easiest to skip/avoid/excuse by staying in one’s comfort zone.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The issues is that you are GOING to the city. One you live there, you have all your stuff and do your normal thing. You cook at home and play videos games, then read books before walking your dog to the park by your friend's house. Basically: don't extrapolate from the perspective of a tourist.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Yep you nailed it! This has given me good insight.

I still couldn't handle living in one, but for extroverts or college kids I see the appeal. I need wide-open spaces and lots of trees myself.

[–] e8d79@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 14 hours ago

Don't worry about being an introvert in a big city; I've lived here for three years and have never seen my next door neighbor, let alone spoken to them. You don't get this kind of privacy in a village.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 day ago

I still couldn't handle living in one, but for extroverts

What ? I am an introvert. Cities are the best place for that. I lived in a mud brick cabin off grid in the forest and had more people visiting then I ever did when i lived for 3 years in the city. I put that down to rural exrtroverts would get bored and need other people.

In the city, I used to cycle to the beach, swin in the ocean, have a couple boiled eggs and a banana on a chair near the beach, catch up on some doom scrolling and cycle home etc i lived car free and saved a fortune, got exercise and was able to see the ciry instead of just sitting in trafdic. I used to cycke over to a set of mountain bike tracks and ride in the bush, then ride home.

Now live in a small rural village with my parter and fuck me, people always coming over.

Shitty air, no nature and constant noise are the downsides of city living.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Minecraft was like $20 and I've probably put 10,000 hours into it

Mc is great. I don't think I have close to 10k hours combined of all my games in 20 years of gaming. Thats nuts man

[–] dxdydz@slrpnk.net 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Your impression of a city is probably skewed by how you interact with it. If you drive in, pay for parking, go to events or attractions, eat out, etc. it all adds up. But that’s not necessarily the experience of someone who lives in a city. They’re living their life, not sightseeing.

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

I lived in the big city for a number of years. I figured it would cost me $10 one way or another every time I stepped out of the house at some point.

[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Lingerie, drugs, snacks, toys, etc. cost money!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

This has little if anything to do with being in a city, and more to do with how expensive a person's tastes are.

Making fun for oneself is easy if need are simple. I enjoy a walk with another human because I'd rather do that than go to a shitty steakhouse. I'll make art on a Saturday afternoon, or cook. There's always free events of all kinds just check the local promotion groups. Lots of local socializing and board game groups. Bird watching. Bike rides are effectively free, so is going for a picnic in an area you haven't been to.

Grab a ball and go to the park. Get some unsalted sunflower seeds at the dollar store and feed the chickadees. Hit the local Ultimate pick-up game. Go to a bar and *gasp* don't drink and just enjoy the live music. Hell if $20 is in the inventory, go to the pinball arcade for 2 hours.

You can have fun for $10K and you can have fun for $0, it's up to you.

[–] MangioneDontMiss@feddit.nl 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 14 points 1 day ago

Friends. Yes, you'll probably spend more to do events.

But the good friendships, you end up just hanging out - wasting time at a park, going for a walk around the neighborhood, having dinner together.

[–] pseudo@jlai.lu 11 points 1 day ago

Walks (less nature, more architecture), go-out in parks. Free museums and cultural event (you have to know the city a bit to know place and times), librairies, charity work, outside sport in the park or the street...

I think you cannot do activities that requires a large natural space or absolue quiet or isolation but unlike small town or country side, you can do all the think that requires grouping lots of people much more easily.

[–] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 148 points 2 days ago (5 children)

The trick in cities is to know things and people.

Know the guy with the swimming pool.

Know the woman who runs yoga in the park every Thursday.

Know when the museums have free or discounted events for the locals.

Know where the buck-a-slice pizza joint is - the one two blocks from your apartment that's almost tucked into an alley at the bottom of a brownstone's side stairs, and that most people would just walk past without noticing.

Cities have lots of free and cheap things, you just need to be a local to find a lot of them.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] F_State@midwest.social 31 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Fun is a Leftist conspiracy to distract you from producing more for your bosses at work

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›