It’s a perfect metaphor for the performative Christianity they love: all show, no effort
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
1239 points (99.5% liked)
Microblog Memes
9315 readers
1716 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
He's wearing a suit for fuck sakes.
A cross without wheels is poor people shit.
Well the entire thing was an insult to whoever wrote Matthew 6:5. Which is a proud Christian tradition, but Americans take it a whole new level.
Yes I wonder who wrote Matthew 6:5, if only there was some sort of a hint.
Honestly I’m surprised there aren’t more sects that explicitly reject Matthew by now. It’s the one that has the bulk of the “don’t be a dick” instructions.
Most of them seem to prefer John which can more easily be twisted into “if you’re a Christian you’re a winner and better than everyone who isn’t, no need to worry about the details, you’re already on the list”
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
American style Christianity described in one image.
False. The cross is not self propelled with a $20 a month subscription.
With a black guy already nailed to it.
load more comments
(5 replies)
Holy shit this is the most accurate metaphorical depiction of modern Christians I've ever seen.
Fun fact there's a guy in my area who drags around a cross made of recycled oak pieces (bits of old furniture cut and glued together) every Easter. Apparently he made it out of raw spite about performative and hypocritical Christians, he is mildly insane and was not even vaguely phased by my crazed neo pagan schtick so take of that as you will.
I am a little curious about your crazed Neo Pagan schtick.
I was thinking about a full paegan one...
Not much to say about it, I just make batshit insane statements that wouldn't be out of place in viking themed RPG. Shit like "The Norns must hate you for our fates to cross" and "Thine flesh will make a fine sacrifice to the many named god" note I usually avoid saying Odin since he is still so relevant to pop culture as to be effectively stripped of any erieness same with Thor, so I go down the borderline Lovecraft route of names and titles or I just use lesser known ones like Godin which I think is the Lombard version.
load more comments
(7 replies)
Jesus after seeing this pic:
And that even though people kept telling him: Jesus, take the wheel!
Nowhere in the bible is explicitly written, that Jesus didn't think of that. Might have had wheels for all we know. Maybe he just skipped gym and was weak af. Or had the wrong wheels for the terrain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Wrong
Matthew 4:20:69
"And lo, Jesus tried to explain that the cross would be much easier to carry if it has wheels yet the Roman said 'lol, lmao'"
load more comments
(3 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
Yup. American Evangelism summed up in one picture.
It's practically a motto: "Optics, not substance."
why didn't Jesus think of that? Was he stupid?
Jesus would have survived crucifixion if he'd tried harder
On the other hand, I think he nailed it.
load more comments
(6 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
If they're too lazy to even perform during their performative gestures, what's the fucking point?!
They should just send a guy out there wearing a life size replica of Charlie Kirks head like a theme park mascot yelling "OBEY" followed by whatever they want their cult to do/feel/etc.
If Jesus was so smart, why didn’t he think of this? Would have saved him a ton of work.
Clearly not a great carpenter.
load more comments
(5 replies)
Turns out following the teachings of Jesus Christ and being a good person are too difficult for most Christians.
Look at me! Look at me! I’m doing the thing! Look at me!
Vanity will get you sent to hell bro. Hope you know.
load more comments
(5 replies)
It's rather poignant I think.
After all the guy they are honouring only ever paid lip service to the religion. So they should to.
You can only miss the point if you ever aimed at it.
Hey when you're making up the story you can control the entire narrative
Back on the Saturday before Easter I was driving down a highway when I saw police blocking the right lane. There was a church group walking along the road dragging a cross. I laughed my ass off when I noticed it had wheels. I only got a screen cap from a dashcam video.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Holy shit this is so hilarious and so fucking awful. Jesus would be so pissed.
Now I'm imagining Peter Thiel pitching Jesus an easy button as an alternative to sacrificing himself for the sins of humanity.
Anyone giving these donkeys money deserves to be parted with it, unfortunately.
It's also way undersized. Look at how wide it isn't. They'd be nailing his elbows instead of his hands. It ought to be much taller and thicker too.
load more comments
(4 replies)
🎶I'm here to remind you of the wheels you use on that cross you bear, It's not fair!🎶
21st century Christianity.
No crown of thorns either. Amateur.
Thorns bite into my skin. And don't get me started on sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating... and it gets everywhere!
load more comments
(1 replies)
11th commandment was work smarter, not harder
The convict had to carry a horizontal beam (patibulum), 1.5-1.8 m long, to the place of execution, from the place of flagellation. His hands were tied to the crossbeam with straps. According to Roman source literature, a person condemned to crucifixion, he never carried the entire cross, contrary to customary faith and contrary to many modern recreations of Jesus’ path to Golgotha.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Let me symbolize the suffering that ~~I know others can’t escape~~ that is expected of others while making it easy as possible on the rich guy virtue signaling for their own aggrandizement.
E: words.
If only we could have people performatively wheel around more practical execution devices, like the evergreen guillotine.
Holy shit that's a great band name. Do not steal.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Yeah what a pussy, this Showboat wants to look like he is respecting Jesus's burden, that has little wheels on his crucifix? What a pussy. Fuck this guy.
view more: next ›