this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 62 points 1 week ago

As someone who has been alive longer than him, I can say that not being a virulent racist/transphobe/misogynist/fascist has gotten me here, and my closing remark is simply, "SKILL ISSUE."

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 58 points 1 week ago (1 children)

excellent shitpost from dead-dove-2 r/creatine?!?

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 21 points 1 week ago

yeah what the hell?

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

he would have survived if he owned enough NFTs

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Bit idea: Sell the rich people some sort of personal force field technology and tell them it operates off of blockchain

Then when they all get confident enough to wear the devices, we set off the explosive charges inside of them

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

starting a personal body armour brand with a slur in the name but secretly the plates are claymore mines

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Just tell them it's a pager for superman or something

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 30 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Bruv

Muscle don't stop bullets

[–] context@hexbear.net 32 points 1 week ago (3 children)

actually actually there was no exit wound so technically it did

[–] dead@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago (3 children)

spoilerAccording to Alex Jones (he claims he talked to Charlie's surgeon), the bullet traveled down his spine, rattled around the torso, and then fragmented in the shoulder.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 29 points 1 week ago

lmao it went down his armor vest and scrambled him in the shell

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

This kinda shit happened to me from car crash shrapnel. Projectiles love wiggling around

[–] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 week ago (5 children)
[–] BadTakesHaver@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

i wonder how they choose the surgeon for a high profile autopsy like this. does the white house have one on standby, or something

[–] NinaPasadena@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

If they do this they should also crucify trump for twitching out of the way of the bullet and killing a firefighter.

That's be a good bit. Guy who hates trump for dodging bullets like a coward.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago

lmao I mean probably it hit his spine or something and deflected somewhere internal. I suspected something like that because of the way he just immediately shut down when it happened. I would expect some kind of flailing or attempt to speak or yell or something if it was just a gushing wound, but for him it was just immediate lights out

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Gotta love how desperate they are to blaspheme

Also, it was a single bullet, what was it going to do?

Final Destination a nearby gas main and explode it?

[–] NinaPasadena@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Imagine if a huge explosion had been caused and then no one even knew charlie kirk was shot first because he and everything around him was incinerated.

Excellent work 47

[–] Aradino@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

A rubber duck flies in from the left of the frame and explodes, killing him and harming a few others. It was a tragic accident.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also, it was a single bullet, what was it going to do?

Final Destination a nearby gas main and explode it?

tbf it could definitely have gone through him and killed someone behind him, that's why you're taught not to touch the trigger until you know exactly what you're aiming at and what's behind it.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I've never shot .30-06 before, it's a sizable round, but they're acting like it stopped a .50 cal or tank shell

It's no miracle, it's just physics

[–] VHS@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

It's only marginally more powerful than the typical 7.62×51/54mm rounds.

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

Even the MAGA geniuses don’t fuck with physics.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago

I've been thinking about this a bit, and it might be because of their obsession with "random" violence, like a school shooting. They can't even imagine violence that is targeted at a specific individual and not at a crowd or group.

[–] sadschmuck@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

Especially with microplastics

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thats because you're training the wrong way. Bush all that pilates shit. Come train with me vegeta-stare

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, I want to be lean and flexible

Too much bulk slows you down

Want to wriggle out of anything The Man throws at me

[–] YoHoHoAndAVialOfKetamine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't worry this man clearly won't be throwing anything heavy

[–] jackmaoist@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago

What's with the yee yee ass haircut?

[–] Sport_Owl@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If you take enough, you can stop a bullet. But you’re completely filled with creatine

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

I think that's concrete, not creatine.

If you take enough creatine, your body will start to build an exoskeleton as if you were an insect

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I've never understood the "I'm going to make this one thing my entire personality" guys. Like, there are things outside of creatine that exist and not everything needs to be related to creatine.

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

job sucks and no time or money for a second thing

[–] T34_69@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

Greetings traveler have you heard the good word of glycine

there are things outside of creatine that exist and not everything needs to be related to creatine

how DARE you, this is the most criminal of blasphemies.

[–] sexywheat@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

If I am not mistaken he was killed because he was insufficiently racist.

[–] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jesus would just you look at that juicy neck

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

His neck has -5 AC

Also vorpal vulnerability

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh God, his head is doing that thing in the picture that Han Solo's was doing in the Star Wars episode 4 recut (where it was digitally altered to make it look like he slid his head to the right to dodge a blaster shot)

[–] tetrabrick@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

Maybe he should have done that at the right time🤷

[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

No, but if he had sworn service to the Yellow King...

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago