Ask Lemmy

Epictitus suggested that the world consists of two things, those you can assert control over and those you cannot. In order to lead a good life, you shouldn't spend energy on the things you have no control over. I've had a couple real bad stretches, but when things turn pear shaped, I take account of the things I have control over and what I don't.

I just remind myself of a few key principles:

• My job can't be soul-crushing; there is no scientific proof souls exist. (Basically, if I am upset, I may need to adjust my outlook.)
• The universe may not care about me, but there are people in it who do.
• Sometimes it's gonna hurt, but so far there hasn't been a time where the hurt hasn't dulled and gone away. I always come upon something that makes it better/worth it.

Just gotta find what keeps you going. It's different for everyone.

Basically, do what you can, don't do what you can't. Shit happens, however you want to rationalize it, it still happens.

I talk about it to friends and family. Most things have happened to people you already know.

I don't remember where I originally heard this from, but the Serenity Prayer has helped me get through some tough times

"Oh God, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what can not be helped, and insight to know the one from the other"

I know it begins with "God", but I found it applicable to my life without requesting anything from God.

I rely on the bonds I've built with other people

I go to the orange and black website and forget about everything

Everything that happens is like water flowing down a river. I don't get mad at gravity and the water for acting according to the laws of physics, why do that for other things? It's much easier to accept it for what it is and try to move forward to the best of my ability

there's more to the analogy/perspective but I don't feel like putting it into words. Hopefully it's helpful

If I'm still breathing, I'm fine.

acceptance. hiding my problems behind made up deities will only make things worse when I have to confront them.

I try to balance by adding joy to my life and others around me. Loving people, laughing, and a sense of humor about myself helps. Life has a random element. I also try to concentrate attention on the good and what I can control. I have an insatiable curiosity about everything, that keeps me busy, in the meantime.

We all have a limited time in this life, and at some point in the next two hundred years, are certain to recycle our atoms to nature.

I call one of my friends and talk to them

This will be over soon.

I tend to hyperfocus on things I can control and/or try to learn a new skill. Both are distractions, but you can't control what you can't control. Obsessing over those things leads to dark places. Sometimes, mental judo helps. You can reframe a situation that seems terrible by looking at it from another context. Unfortunately, it's hard to give examples for this.

Said the rich man to the poor man, and the poor man to the rich; "this too shall pass"

You're the one in control of whether things go down or up the hill in your life, not some mystical entity. If shit goes downhill, you just have to deal with it, praying to the gods won't fix your life or make you money, only you can do that... Nothing more to it, really.

That's how I think about it, anyways...

Constantly contemplate suicide until the idea of suicide is boring